OPP

Other Peoples Potential has given me some insight into my own potential. I am reading other peoples blogs and having conversations and trying to find a reflection of myself so that maybe I’ll have a better idea of what I might look like; to myself and others.

I can sometimes make out reflections or confirmations of parts of me that I knew were there, like my face or my hand or a scar. I can sometimes see reflections of things I had no idea where there, like a tan line or a freckle or a mole.

Sometimes, when I try to paint a self-portrait from those reflections, the reflection lies to me, because my mind has already made it a “self-portrait” and not really a reflection. I lie to myself.

I was told once that maybe I “deserved better” - that what I want, and moreover what I need, is out there for me. She told me that I was looking in the wrong place. I want to believe that even though a reflection might not show me a familiar image, I can at least see a real one.

Still looking…