4/28/06

ex.peri.mental.remix

ex.peri.mental.remix

Laika rock-block in sands of my hour glass...

...this blog as stopped the flow i grew to know...

and love.

the intent of this post was to say, I'll be at Laika at 5pm today (less important) and... begone you nasty minute-minding pebble and let these sands of the unknOwn flow (more important)!

4/23/06

NYC

Chron.com | New York offers housing subsidies to lure teachers.

nyc!

4/18/06

The Chisel

Carving beauty into flesh,
with a throbbing chisel.

It longs for purpose
softly, warmly, outwardly coaxing in
its own trembling beauty; inherently; reflexively.

CAA

Related to this, CAA put out a vehicle usage analysis called Driving Costs, 2005 Edition (pdf, 87kb). Looks like I wasn't terribly far off.

4/12/06

Fallout, indeed

The number of people with medical problems linked to the 9/11 attacks on New York has risen to at least 15,000.

Yoga!

man, i could not love yoga more. it occasionally permits me to be in awe of my own body and mind; equanimity. it can be like watching a plane take off for the first time or a volcano rumble, etc… I am expecting to resume regular practice soon (with the apt geared towards that end). unmotivated? look at this...

I didn't know the human body could do that...

4/11/06

fun with techmology

Some sorta experiment i'm trying:

objSpaceHolder

4/10/06

5 hours

It’s 6pm (fuck, 6:30! push back :30mins). I got 10 things to do. Let’s try for five:

6:00 – 7:00 yoga (done! 7:40!)
7:00 – 8:00 shower pack for tomorrow (hit canadian tire instead)
8:00 – 9:00 pack more, begin work (hit canadian tire instead)
9:00 – 10:00 work, update web (fuck, watch 24!)
10:00 – 11:00 read, update web, update ipod (shower now!)

Balm

Ingredients in my new lip balm: Organic Olive Oil, Organic Shea Butter, Organic Bees Wax, Organic Coco Butter, Cinnamon.

Love it!

4/9/06

60 + 60 + 60

Put $60 down on this to know it'll "one day" be mine:

Takamine and for pics

Just...can't...wait... ;)

Thinking black?

New pad looks STELLAR!!

4/6/06

Buttle Nucks

Every night I get home, assuming I get home, I sit at this PC trying to do all the things I need to do – but I bottleneck. It’s driving me nuts. Getting the Chi going takes too long and then it’s time for bed. I have WAY too much to read, listen to, and write. I was out with mike again the other night and I was able to use him to gauge my slowly lessening feeling of equanimity. The waitress, for whom I have an affinity, knows a little about my struggle – “five minutes a day” she said… beautiful. I needed that - and Mike suggested not beating myself up over it. I know I am. The analogy that came to mind is the feeling you get every time you leave a more beautiful self and selflessness behind – like a perfect beach with beautiful people where you’d share you shirt (if you had one). “And why did I back on the plane?” – impermanence? Perhaps. Perhaps it’s the inevitable return to an inherently noisier and less focused truth. I know I now have context of a deeper nature; I know the beach is there, and I know I could just go, and that’s…

…wonderful.

4/4/06

Co-win-kee-dink

My horoscope for the same week I a) get paid of the first time since October 2005 b) get a new apt...

It's high time for you to spend more money, Pisces. You're lagging way behind in your purchase of the goods and services you desperately need. Not only that: You've been lax in getting yourself the profound healing that can only come from shopping therapy. Get out there and splurge! Your role model is the Pentagon, which shells out an average of $8,612 per second. APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. The truth is that it makes sense for you to spend more money on only one thing: experiences that will help you get better at performing a beloved skill that will fuel many future adventures.

Ms. Pink to Orange to Redhot

Holy moly. It's pissing rain today.

I asked Ms. Pink if she could kindly drive the 2km today as sopping wetness was not on my list of things to bring to work today. "My pleasure" was not the answer.

The answer was an enraged "go fuck yourself" (paraphrasing) followed by a "why didn't you ask me yesterday when I could've prepared!!!" – prepared? For the weather? What planet is this girl from? Besides even checking the weather doesn't give the exact condition (i.e. drizzle vs. cats and dogs). Mr. Brown, overhearing said conversation, kindly says "I'll drive you." I decline his offer seeing as he has to drive in mostly the opposite direction. I reply, "I will walk the rain; with pleasure; with pleasure" Yes, said twice plus one more. He accepts. She get in the car and starts pulling out. Mr Brown flags he down. "Wait! You'll take him as it only entails a 15 second stop on your way." She grinds the transmission pulling back in… (not the first time I've heard this automatic grind gears under her guidance).

I got in the car, thanked her, and kindly ask her not to road rage our fragile asses all the way to our usual drop off point. She road raged without any hesitation; bang bang over the first speed bump.

I've raced my fair share of cars and have ridden a motorcycle through some the nastiest/wickedest/most amazing roads (same roads btw) in North America. I have a great deal of respect for the condition of the vehicle, of the roads, and of my mind when operating a motor vehicle of any kind, especially at speed. I got out of the car within 15 – 30 seconds – into the pissing rain, as I believed it would safer for both of us.

Mr. Brown saved my ass once again and got me to work on time. Merci.

4/3/06

word: happenstance

happenstance: a circumstance especially that is due to chance

Hole in the wall

Just got an apt. back near the old hood. It ain't the Ritz... not even a Motel 8... 7? Ok, maybe 6 by time I'm done with it, but the price ($400/month) and location (foot of the mountain plateau side) are more than perfect and I can leave anytime I want (possibly within 3 months depending on how it feels).

It’s a stepping stone kinda situation, and as I am mostly a minimalist these days, this should be better than fine. It will serve as a “get my stuff outta storage” deal with a little “stuff back for BC” sprinkled on top for flavor. Oh, not to forget the death of “can I borrow a clean shirt and grab a shower?” preceded by the 12am phone call asking “dude. sorry, but can i crash?” thusly avoiding the tumultuous bus ride and multi km march home (i.e. 4 of the 11 days that i've had this job). It’s also got a parking spot for my buds with metal chariots and eventually my metal horse whenever I ride/ship it home.

Now to decide who gets a set of keys?

word: defenestrate \dee-FEN-uh-strayt\

transitive verb: To throw out of a window.

"Some of his apparent chums... would still happily defenestrate him if they caught him near a window."

Damn that's a funny word.

4/2/06

The more we share

It’s the strangest little anomaly. The more we share, the more we receive. If someone out there doesn’t grasp these concepts of Karma or the overall “you get what you give/do onto others” concepts of design and determination in behavior - I’d be happy to a) share some of my experiences or b) Hm… there seems to be no b)… this is a good sign.

I know now that the “MY” in my life is no more than a secured fiction of my own perception and imagination. What I have to give can only be shared by example; by practice; by compromising. This will ultimately lead to the kind observation that is required to better discover the self, and thusly release it. So, with that said, leading by example should at its root tell me, that the I, like the US, is occasionally lost along the path at some given time; that we don’t always believe in what we’re doing; that it’s ok to be wrong.

This stuck in my head after Vipassana, that like yoga, my daily practices can and will vary, for the better and the worse. In yoga, forcing myself to touch my toes when my body cannot (and because of I did it yesterday and the day before), will take a part of what is the truth in yoga is away from me; equanimity. It’s better that I obverse the difference rather than try to be the me I might have been the days before (meditation made me call it “my nature” (self-implied status quo), but I know now that such a thing only exists because I want it to). Yesterday is not an actual reality, but in fact as unique and ever changing as the memory itself.

Anger, sadness, depression, desire, aversion, highs and lows, terrible and triumphant – all alike - are all part of that process… we are, like the oceans, the wind, and the fire, simply momentary anomalies of craving and aversion, of existence, should what we perceive be good or bad or whatever else. What might be possible, if I try that is, is a release of the self in the scope what is real in a possible truth that could be my live vs. a fictional manifestation of craving and aversion.

My friend is having a baby. I’ve know him for over 15 years. For one of the first times since I’ve known him (to love golf), he put his much loved stroke (symbolic of many self-motivated traits within all ourselves) lower on the list of his EXPECTATIONS and cravings. He told me that a year ago he "would’ve done yoga, hit the gym, seen a psych, whatever to shave 5+ strokes off (his) game.” Good. I mean what is golf game against a new born? In my mind, it’s less than the average in motivating self-improvement. And then, what about sharing those compromises in a conducive manner? It’s, again in my mind, certainly more than golfing a par course. He shared with me. I love you man ;) and watching you love something other than yourself (of course within this context) is more than inspiring. Cheers and know I’ll be here when you need or want me.