Once free was key...
posted by Solman @ 2/22/2007 05:57:00 PM
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2/22/07
12/24/06
Falls Brook Centre
So time was spent in New Brunswick. I used that time to learn some new and exciting stuff including working with Drupal, Drupal’s eCommerce module, and CiviCRM.
Drupal at http://www.drupal.org and
CiviCRM at http://www.civicrm.org
PHP and mySQL… so far so good, but I got a fair amount of work and learning to do to get these systems to be something I am more comfortable with.
Vancouver was good. It was nice seeing the old crew. Can’t say a whole lot has changed over there… but what has changed has certainly changed for the better. I can’t believe how much I like eating in that city. The idea of trying to eat fruits of the sea any father away than my eyes can see (see that salty orchard) can seem like a futile endeavor.
Did a Wild Rose Cleanse in New Brunswick – nothing like a sore kidney to make life a little more real.
I miss meditating… good thing for new year’s.
Gonna be 32 soon. Good thing I don’t need assets to feel whole, cause then I wouldn’t.
Concepts of Net-Zero and Zero-Footprint are now more than just ideas but still a hair short of realities… for now.
The idea behind zeroing consumption centers on solid commitments to understanding the value of fractional gains, overall direction, and retrofitting systems.
The 5 pushup principal: It’s better to do a mere 5 pushups than to do none at all. Furthermore, the value of the 5 pushups supersedes itself by an undetermined factor. That factoring is related to that little bit of a glow, that self perception, which changes in whatever minute way, and that is perpetual; self-fulfilling; self-propagating.
That said, a 5% reduction is reduction in consumption… supersedes itself…
Drupal at http://www.drupal.org and
CiviCRM at http://www.civicrm.org
PHP and mySQL… so far so good, but I got a fair amount of work and learning to do to get these systems to be something I am more comfortable with.
Vancouver was good. It was nice seeing the old crew. Can’t say a whole lot has changed over there… but what has changed has certainly changed for the better. I can’t believe how much I like eating in that city. The idea of trying to eat fruits of the sea any father away than my eyes can see (see that salty orchard) can seem like a futile endeavor.
Did a Wild Rose Cleanse in New Brunswick – nothing like a sore kidney to make life a little more real.
I miss meditating… good thing for new year’s.
Gonna be 32 soon. Good thing I don’t need assets to feel whole, cause then I wouldn’t.
Concepts of Net-Zero and Zero-Footprint are now more than just ideas but still a hair short of realities… for now.
The idea behind zeroing consumption centers on solid commitments to understanding the value of fractional gains, overall direction, and retrofitting systems.
The 5 pushup principal: It’s better to do a mere 5 pushups than to do none at all. Furthermore, the value of the 5 pushups supersedes itself by an undetermined factor. That factoring is related to that little bit of a glow, that self perception, which changes in whatever minute way, and that is perpetual; self-fulfilling; self-propagating.
That said, a 5% reduction is reduction in consumption… supersedes itself…
posted by Solman @ 12/24/2006 08:56:00 AM
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12/10/06
Definition of recalcitrant - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Definition of recalcitrant - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
Main Entry: re·cal·ci·trant
Pronunciation: -tr&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin recalcitrant-, recalcitrans, present participle of recalcitrare to be stubbornly disobedient, from Latin, to kick back, from re- + calcitrare to kick, from calc-, calx heel
1 : obstinately defiant of authority or restraint
2 a : difficult to manage or operate b : not responsive to treatment c : RESISTANT
synonym see UNRULY
- recalcitrant noun
Main Entry: re·cal·ci·trant
Pronunciation: -tr&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin recalcitrant-, recalcitrans, present participle of recalcitrare to be stubbornly disobedient, from Latin, to kick back, from re- + calcitrare to kick, from calc-, calx heel
1 : obstinately defiant of authority or restraint
2 a : difficult to manage or operate b : not responsive to treatment c : RESISTANT
synonym see UNRULY
- recalcitrant noun
posted by Solman @ 12/10/2006 12:28:00 PM
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11/22/06
NB!NB!
New Brunswick, New Brunswick!
Moving into week 5 of 8... good times.
Moving into week 5 of 8... good times.
posted by Solman @ 11/22/2006 01:53:00 PM
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10/13/06
Return of the followship
So…
1) No longer working for CCQ, Verint, Desjardins, or finally, CIA. No. I don’t feel like explaining that gibberish, but know it was a “good time” and it let me see things from a different perspective.
2) Got just enough money to make it until the new year (party not included) and then, it’s a real real problem. I better get moving.
3) On getting moving… on a plane the 20th to BC with Kim (6 months last weekend ;) to soak in some sights and sounds, but really to grab my shit and say hello and thanks, again. Did say sushi?
4) Then to NB for 7 weeks. http://www.fallsbrookcentre.ca. More on this later.
All that to say…
I want to get working in the NGO and non-profit community using what was explained to me as “good business process”. More on this later.
Go team!
Encroaching cold is biting at my ear, nose, and toes.
1) No longer working for CCQ, Verint, Desjardins, or finally, CIA. No. I don’t feel like explaining that gibberish, but know it was a “good time” and it let me see things from a different perspective.
2) Got just enough money to make it until the new year (party not included) and then, it’s a real real problem. I better get moving.
3) On getting moving… on a plane the 20th to BC with Kim (6 months last weekend ;) to soak in some sights and sounds, but really to grab my shit and say hello and thanks, again. Did say sushi?
4) Then to NB for 7 weeks. http://www.fallsbrookcentre.ca. More on this later.
All that to say…
I want to get working in the NGO and non-profit community using what was explained to me as “good business process”. More on this later.
Go team!
Encroaching cold is biting at my ear, nose, and toes.
posted by Solman @ 10/13/2006 10:33:00 AM
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9/2/06
8/28/06
Paul Tracy @ Montreal Champ Car Grand Prix
Paul Tracy @ Montreal Champ Car Grand Prix
posted by Solman @ 8/28/2006 07:58:00 AM
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8/27/06
Net Metering
Saw this in New Brunswick with Brent at the Fallsbrooke Center:
Hydro-Québec - Self-generation and this white paper by BC Hydro.
Hydro-Québec - Self-generation and this white paper by BC Hydro.
posted by Solman @ 8/27/2006 10:24:00 AM
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8/21/06
Hour.ca - Dstrbo Cartoon
Funny 'cause it's true? hm...
Hour.ca - Dstrbo Cartoon
and also funny 'cause it's true:
Hour.ca - Dstrbo Cartoon
and also funny 'cause it's true:
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them. - George H. W. Bush
posted by Solman @ 8/21/2006 06:44:00 PM
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8/20/06
Bush fights ruling on wire tapping | Video | Reuters.com
“His legal defense for this program always comes back to the idea that he is the president and he is the commander-in-chief. And this just raises basic questions about the rule of law because he is basically saying that as commander-in-chief he will decide which laws he is going to follow and which laws he is not going to follow.” - Timothy Linch
Bush fights ruling on wire tapping | Video | Reuters.com
posted by Solman @ 8/20/2006 11:46:00 AM
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8/19/06
Middle Israel: After Olmert | Jerusalem Post
Middle Israel: After Olmert | Jerusalem Post: "The Netanyahu-Lieberman brand of secular conservatism, which blends a concern for Israel's demographic balance with a deep suspicion of its neighbors, can now be expected to win over more hearts. Millions of Israelis have just been through an experience that can lead them nowhere but rightward. Olmert can certainly forget about obtaining even a wry smile from the thousands of immigrants who've spent the past weeks fathoming smoke pillars and sustaining boom after boom in working-class neighborhoods across the North. Those are now all the New Right's to keep."
posted by Solman @ 8/19/2006 02:19:00 PM
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8/13/06
CASCADA VERDE - UVITA / COSTA RICA / FOR SALE
CASCADA VERDE - UVITA / COSTA RICA / FOR SALE
I would run this as a yoga retreat, Vipassana meditation center, restaurant, research facility, garden, place for interns and interested parties... and it would a pleasure to make this a non-profit (i.e. a break-even business with a mandate to provide aid and assistance to all peoples, in any way it can) with the goal of making the stay free (under the principles followed at a Vispassana Center - donations and volunteers: integrity and respect)... if someone would help me (us) buy it?
dead serious.
I would run this as a yoga retreat, Vipassana meditation center, restaurant, research facility, garden, place for interns and interested parties... and it would a pleasure to make this a non-profit (i.e. a break-even business with a mandate to provide aid and assistance to all peoples, in any way it can) with the goal of making the stay free (under the principles followed at a Vispassana Center - donations and volunteers: integrity and respect)... if someone would help me (us) buy it?
dead serious.
posted by Solman @ 8/13/2006 01:50:00 PM
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World War II casualties - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
posted by Solman @ 8/13/2006 12:50:00 PM
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8/12/06
Working Class Hero
Working Class Hero
by John Lennon
As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be
There's room at the top they're telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me
by John Lennon
As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be
There's room at the top they're telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me
posted by Solman @ 8/12/2006 09:59:00 PM
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8/11/06
Definition of dichotomy - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
posted by Solman @ 8/11/2006 07:33:00 PM
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What is...
...security?
...safety?
...sovereignty?
...democracy?
...nationalism?
...a nation?
...a peoples?
...government?
...retirement?
...healthcare?
...energy?
...community?
...locality?
...fairness?
...progress?
...truth?
...safety?
...sovereignty?
...democracy?
...nationalism?
...a nation?
...a peoples?
...government?
...retirement?
...healthcare?
...energy?
...community?
...locality?
...fairness?
...progress?
...truth?
posted by Solman @ 8/11/2006 09:42:00 AM
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8/10/06
If I could drop a bomb
If I could drop a bomb on the head of President G. Bush (and the likes), it would be this one. I know it blew me away, so - bang bang baby - time to grow up. No... that's not right... whenever he's ready ;)
posted by Solman @ 8/10/2006 08:39:00 AM
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8/9/06
OImert exclusive: Enemies must pay | Video | Reuters.com
posted by Solman @ 8/09/2006 06:46:00 PM
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7/31/06
hegemony
Main Entry: he·ge·mo·ny
Pronunciation: hi-'je-m&-nE, -'ge-; 'he-j&-"mO-nE
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek hEgemonia, from hEgemOn leader, from hEgeisthai to lead -- more at SEEK
1 : preponderant influence or authority over others : DOMINATION
2 : the social, cultural, ideological, or economic influence exerted by a dominant group
- heg·e·mon·ic /"he-j&-'mä-nik, "he-g&-/ adjective
Pronunciation: hi-'je-m&-nE, -'ge-; 'he-j&-"mO-nE
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek hEgemonia, from hEgemOn leader, from hEgeisthai to lead -- more at SEEK
1 : preponderant influence or authority over others : DOMINATION
2 : the social, cultural, ideological, or economic influence exerted by a dominant group
- heg·e·mon·ic /"he-j&-'mä-nik, "he-g&-/ adjective
posted by Solman @ 7/31/2006 08:42:00 PM
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New Brunswick
Going to New Bruswick to R&D renewable energy.
RE for OIL!
That's right... gonna fight "them", best I can... but using my head instead of my hands. Alternatives to power - power of a human virus - to be replaced by empowerment of an organic humanity.
RE for OIL!
That's right... gonna fight "them", best I can... but using my head instead of my hands. Alternatives to power - power of a human virus - to be replaced by empowerment of an organic humanity.
or·gan·ic
4 a : forming an integral element of a whole : FUNDAMENTALb : having systematic coordination of parts : ORGANIZED c : having the characteristics of an organism : developing in the manner of a living plant or animal
posted by Solman @ 7/31/2006 12:28:00 PM
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7/29/06
On reading the Art of War...
On reading the Art of War (translated by Samuel B. Griffith) from page 109 under the section titled “Maneuver”:
My two cents: Has the veil been removed to reveal that our “enemies” have left us no way of escape? Are we all now fighting to the death? Scary. Sad. Untriumphant.
31. To a surrounded enemy you must leave a way of escape.
Tu Nu: Show him there is a road to safety and so create in his mind the idea that there is an alternative to death. Then strike.
Ho Yen-Hsi: When Ts’ao Ts’ao surrounded Hu Kuan he issued an order: “When the city is taken, the defenders will be buried.” For month after month it did not fall. Ts’ao Jen said: “When a city is surrounded it is essential to show the besieged that there is a way to survival. Now, sir, as you have told them they must fight to the death everyone will fight to save his own skin. The city is strong and has a plentiful supply of food. If we attack them many officers and men will be wounded. If we persevere it will take many days. To encamp under the walls of a strong city and attack rebels determined to fight to the death is not a good plan!”
32. Do not press an enemy at bay.
Tu Yu: Price Fu Ch’ai said: “Wild beasts, when at bay, fight desperately. How much more is this true of men! If they know there is no alternative they will fight to the death.”
During the reign of emperor Hsyan of the Han, Chao Ch’ung-Kuo was suppressing a revolt of the Ch’iang tribe. The Ch’ing tribesman saw his large army, discarded their heavy baggage, and set out to ford the Yellow River. The road was through narrow defiles, and Ch’ung-Kuo drove them along in a leisurely manner.
Someone said: “We are in pursuit of great advantage but proceed slowly.”
Ch’ung-Kuo replied: “They are desperate. I cannot press them. If I do this easily they will go without even looking around. If I press them they will turn on us and fight to the death.”
All the generals said: “Wonderful!”
My two cents: Has the veil been removed to reveal that our “enemies” have left us no way of escape? Are we all now fighting to the death? Scary. Sad. Untriumphant.
posted by Solman @ 7/29/2006 02:09:00 PM
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7/26/06
Stay tuned
Reuters
Aljazeera
TV5
Hour by Hour by Nouvel OBS
Jerusalem Post
Haaretz
Any one wish to contribute other good sources (audio/video prefered as these media can be shared with mulitple listeners/viewers)?
Aljazeera
TV5
Hour by Hour by Nouvel OBS
Jerusalem Post
Haaretz
Any one wish to contribute other good sources (audio/video prefered as these media can be shared with mulitple listeners/viewers)?
posted by Solman @ 7/26/2006 01:48:00 PM
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Illsrael
I am done. I am sad. I am overwhelmed. I am lost.
I am Lebanese. I am Canadian. I am human.
What has happened to us? What have our forefathers brought us to? This is not time for blame, but for precedent. All this fighting serves only to protect infrastructures, of power and control of this planet’s quickly dwindling resources, and not a peoples. Hezbolla are not the problem. The Gaza is not the problem. They are symptoms of a larger issue.
I am currently working at a bank doing analysis for a bunch of VPs. Over the last two + weeks, I have lost the ability and desire to support “infrastructure”. No longer are my forefathers the problem; the cause; I am. I am a part of this as much a part of it as an Israeli or Hezoblla.
The privileges that the “Western world” has enjoyed are coming to an end. Concepts of “retirement” or “security” or “economic controls” are no longer feasible. Consumption will change. Inflation and deflation will rule. Plastic realities, political, economic, or ethical (i.e. religious) will melt under the flame of hatred and oppression. This is not a planet that can survive these methodologies; the protection of infrastructure. We must relent our individualisms and assumptions of social and international equallity or balance – there is no equal balance – only natural balance, which is often not “equal” but “equitable”.
When I lived in BC, I saw forest fires. The firemen never assumed the ability to stop the fire, but approached the problem by defining what it was that they TRULY needed to protect. Fires are natural. Fighting them is natural. Fighting to protect ones self is natural. Fighting the entire fire is ignorance.
Why do Israel and its supporters believe that “terrorism” can be stopped? Why are they fighting fire with fire? It cannot succeed. It is a symptom of greater, misaligned issues. We cannot marginalize. We cannot assume righteousness. Even a terrorist is “right” within a given context. It is the context that needs to be addressed. Remove the notions that a group, militant or otherwise, can be solely responsible for the actions of a country. Did the US need to lose the towers to understand those implications? Maybe if they flatten the Gaza, maybe flatten Beirut… getting closer? Or maybe flatten Tel Aviv, maybe flatten New York… then what? Police state? Socialist rule? Genocide? What can come of all this? What are we leading ourselves into?
I am very sad that no one has stopped both Israel (mature, wealthy, and educated) and other militant factions (young, desperate, and uneducated). I can’t imagine burning a child to teach it of fire. Why do we burn these Middle Eastern children? Why do we assume a common context? Why do we ask for responsible actions from these learning and growing political infants, when all they see is irresponsibility from their fathers and mothers? Invasions. Force. Finality.
I will not be a part of this front. I will not support my government blindly. I will not remain speechless. I will not ignore my involvement or my responsibilities to what is right and truthful. Meditation showed me my own misaligned approach to securing happiness; balance. Within myself, I see now – how misguided we are, how our egos reign dominant, how we fight to protect what we know and not what we need to learn. I will not be misguided. I will not fight for status quo.
I believe, for the moment and from an uneducated position (i.e. who knows what the truth is anyway – marred and manipulated), that this invasion of Lebanon was a long time in the making and that the intention is to possibly use Lebanon as a global front line against Syria and Iran (i.e. why they could so quickly evacuate the entire country), or what’s left of a sovereign Mideast. Where is the logic in sacrificing millions of lives for the recovery of two mostly pictureless and faceless soldiers? But of course, this is not about kidnapped soldiers...
I am Lebanese. I am Canadian. I am human.
What has happened to us? What have our forefathers brought us to? This is not time for blame, but for precedent. All this fighting serves only to protect infrastructures, of power and control of this planet’s quickly dwindling resources, and not a peoples. Hezbolla are not the problem. The Gaza is not the problem. They are symptoms of a larger issue.
I am currently working at a bank doing analysis for a bunch of VPs. Over the last two + weeks, I have lost the ability and desire to support “infrastructure”. No longer are my forefathers the problem; the cause; I am. I am a part of this as much a part of it as an Israeli or Hezoblla.
The privileges that the “Western world” has enjoyed are coming to an end. Concepts of “retirement” or “security” or “economic controls” are no longer feasible. Consumption will change. Inflation and deflation will rule. Plastic realities, political, economic, or ethical (i.e. religious) will melt under the flame of hatred and oppression. This is not a planet that can survive these methodologies; the protection of infrastructure. We must relent our individualisms and assumptions of social and international equallity or balance – there is no equal balance – only natural balance, which is often not “equal” but “equitable”.
When I lived in BC, I saw forest fires. The firemen never assumed the ability to stop the fire, but approached the problem by defining what it was that they TRULY needed to protect. Fires are natural. Fighting them is natural. Fighting to protect ones self is natural. Fighting the entire fire is ignorance.
Why do Israel and its supporters believe that “terrorism” can be stopped? Why are they fighting fire with fire? It cannot succeed. It is a symptom of greater, misaligned issues. We cannot marginalize. We cannot assume righteousness. Even a terrorist is “right” within a given context. It is the context that needs to be addressed. Remove the notions that a group, militant or otherwise, can be solely responsible for the actions of a country. Did the US need to lose the towers to understand those implications? Maybe if they flatten the Gaza, maybe flatten Beirut… getting closer? Or maybe flatten Tel Aviv, maybe flatten New York… then what? Police state? Socialist rule? Genocide? What can come of all this? What are we leading ourselves into?
I am very sad that no one has stopped both Israel (mature, wealthy, and educated) and other militant factions (young, desperate, and uneducated). I can’t imagine burning a child to teach it of fire. Why do we burn these Middle Eastern children? Why do we assume a common context? Why do we ask for responsible actions from these learning and growing political infants, when all they see is irresponsibility from their fathers and mothers? Invasions. Force. Finality.
I will not be a part of this front. I will not support my government blindly. I will not remain speechless. I will not ignore my involvement or my responsibilities to what is right and truthful. Meditation showed me my own misaligned approach to securing happiness; balance. Within myself, I see now – how misguided we are, how our egos reign dominant, how we fight to protect what we know and not what we need to learn. I will not be misguided. I will not fight for status quo.
I believe, for the moment and from an uneducated position (i.e. who knows what the truth is anyway – marred and manipulated), that this invasion of Lebanon was a long time in the making and that the intention is to possibly use Lebanon as a global front line against Syria and Iran (i.e. why they could so quickly evacuate the entire country), or what’s left of a sovereign Mideast. Where is the logic in sacrificing millions of lives for the recovery of two mostly pictureless and faceless soldiers? But of course, this is not about kidnapped soldiers...
posted by Solman @ 7/26/2006 01:33:00 PM
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6/5/06
lacking in meaning
In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning. - [George Orwell]
posted by Solman @ 6/05/2006 01:54:00 PM
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5/27/06
Larscapes - Paris - Tours Aillaud aka Tours Nuages
posted by Solman @ 5/27/2006 11:13:00 AM
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5/26/06
5/25/06
DaDs
Not really sure why it took so long, but Kim (my "new" friend) went out of her way to introduce me to Dad's Bagels, and... wow... wow, what great Indian food? Yup. Great. She did a takeout thing. A trip to Dads is now on the list, likely to be paired with a visit to NDG's Cosmos, with some possible heavy lifting, fast running, and/or somber sleeping in between stops.
i'll let you know... ;)
i'll let you know... ;)
posted by Solman @ 5/25/2006 03:50:00 PM
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5/18/06
think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts
it's always good to be able to visualize something when trying set your focus, like this for example.
posted by Solman @ 5/18/2006 10:36:00 AM
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5/16/06
A very strange sign of the times...
i'm gonna miss being normal...
TOKYO (Reuters) - Exhausted Japanese workers in need of a pick-me-up will soon be able to get a hit of canned oxygen at their local convenience store.
Seven-Eleven Japan will start marketing the new product, "O2 Supli", at select stores in the Tokyo area later this month and expand sales nationwide in June.
posted by Solman @ 5/16/2006 12:49:00 PM
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5/10/06
one of the first things i wanted to do with the internets
posted by Solman @ 5/10/2006 02:26:00 PM
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5/3/06
Grooves (tempbits)
It seems that my main methods of doing anything oscillate; approach oscillates; timing oscillates; priorities oscillate. I mean that… I tend to groove along lines of behavior and not necessarily hang out in any one for too long – consecutively. I haven’t blogged. I know why; the same reason as last time. It’s like I’ve reverted back to a temporary habit or behavior. “It’s not that I always do this, I just do this in the summer… sometimes…”
These days, I’m feeling a hair anti-social (bars seem noisy) and a hair exhausted (longing for a TV)…no reason… everybody rocks and I’m working just hard enough, but nothing to merit the slow fatigue… it’ll last a week more… groove… ;)
Found a meditation on Wednesdays at Concordia.
These days, I’m feeling a hair anti-social (bars seem noisy) and a hair exhausted (longing for a TV)…no reason… everybody rocks and I’m working just hard enough, but nothing to merit the slow fatigue… it’ll last a week more… groove… ;)
Found a meditation on Wednesdays at Concordia.
posted by Solman @ 5/03/2006 10:19:00 PM
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4/28/06
Laika rock-block in sands of my hour glass...
...this blog as stopped the flow i grew to know...
and love.
the intent of this post was to say, I'll be at Laika at 5pm today (less important) and... begone you nasty minute-minding pebble and let these sands of the unknOwn flow (more important)!
and love.
the intent of this post was to say, I'll be at Laika at 5pm today (less important) and... begone you nasty minute-minding pebble and let these sands of the unknOwn flow (more important)!
posted by Solman @ 4/28/2006 11:01:00 AM
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4/23/06
4/18/06
The Chisel
Carving beauty into flesh,
with a throbbing chisel.
It longs for purpose
softly, warmly, outwardly coaxing in
its own trembling beauty; inherently; reflexively.
with a throbbing chisel.
It longs for purpose
softly, warmly, outwardly coaxing in
its own trembling beauty; inherently; reflexively.
posted by Solman @ 4/18/2006 03:22:00 PM
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CAA
Related to this, CAA put out a vehicle usage analysis called Driving Costs, 2005 Edition (pdf, 87kb). Looks like I wasn't terribly far off.
posted by Solman @ 4/18/2006 12:54:00 PM
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4/12/06
Yoga!
man, i could not love yoga more. it occasionally permits me to be in awe of my own body and mind; equanimity. it can be like watching a plane take off for the first time or a volcano rumble, etc… I am expecting to resume regular practice soon (with the apt geared towards that end). unmotivated? look at this...
I didn't know the human body could do that...
I didn't know the human body could do that...
posted by Solman @ 4/12/2006 02:05:00 PM
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4/11/06
4/10/06
5 hours
It’s 6pm (fuck, 6:30! push back :30mins). I got 10 things to do. Let’s try for five:
6:00 – 7:00 yoga (done! 7:40!)
7:00 – 8:00 shower pack for tomorrow (hit canadian tire instead)
8:00 – 9:00 pack more, begin work (hit canadian tire instead)
9:00 – 10:00 work, update web (fuck, watch 24!)
10:00 – 11:00 read, update web, update ipod (shower now!)
6:00 – 7:00 yoga (done! 7:40!)
7:00 – 8:00 shower pack for tomorrow (hit canadian tire instead)
8:00 – 9:00 pack more, begin work (hit canadian tire instead)
9:00 – 10:00 work, update web (fuck, watch 24!)
10:00 – 11:00 read, update web, update ipod (shower now!)
posted by Solman @ 4/10/2006 06:35:00 PM
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Balm
Ingredients in my new lip balm: Organic Olive Oil, Organic Shea Butter, Organic Bees Wax, Organic Coco Butter, Cinnamon.
Love it!
Love it!
posted by Solman @ 4/10/2006 01:54:00 PM
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4/9/06
60 + 60 + 60
Put $60 down on this to know it'll "one day" be mine:
Takamine and for pics
Just...can't...wait... ;)
Thinking black?
New pad looks STELLAR!!
Takamine and for pics
Just...can't...wait... ;)
Thinking black?
New pad looks STELLAR!!
posted by Solman @ 4/09/2006 10:09:00 PM
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4/6/06
Buttle Nucks
Every night I get home, assuming I get home, I sit at this PC trying to do all the things I need to do – but I bottleneck. It’s driving me nuts. Getting the Chi going takes too long and then it’s time for bed. I have WAY too much to read, listen to, and write. I was out with mike again the other night and I was able to use him to gauge my slowly lessening feeling of equanimity. The waitress, for whom I have an affinity, knows a little about my struggle – “five minutes a day” she said… beautiful. I needed that - and Mike suggested not beating myself up over it. I know I am. The analogy that came to mind is the feeling you get every time you leave a more beautiful self and selflessness behind – like a perfect beach with beautiful people where you’d share you shirt (if you had one). “And why did I back on the plane?” – impermanence? Perhaps. Perhaps it’s the inevitable return to an inherently noisier and less focused truth. I know I now have context of a deeper nature; I know the beach is there, and I know I could just go, and that’s…
…wonderful.
…wonderful.
posted by Solman @ 4/06/2006 06:57:00 PM
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4/4/06
Co-win-kee-dink
My horoscope for the same week I a) get paid of the first time since October 2005 b) get a new apt...
It's high time for you to spend more money, Pisces. You're lagging way behind in your purchase of the goods and services you desperately need. Not only that: You've been lax in getting yourself the profound healing that can only come from shopping therapy. Get out there and splurge! Your role model is the Pentagon, which shells out an average of $8,612 per second. APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. The truth is that it makes sense for you to spend more money on only one thing: experiences that will help you get better at performing a beloved skill that will fuel many future adventures.
posted by Solman @ 4/04/2006 02:14:00 PM
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Ms. Pink to Orange to Redhot
Holy moly. It's pissing rain today.
I asked Ms. Pink if she could kindly drive the 2km today as sopping wetness was not on my list of things to bring to work today. "My pleasure" was not the answer.
The answer was an enraged "go fuck yourself" (paraphrasing) followed by a "why didn't you ask me yesterday when I could've prepared!!!" – prepared? For the weather? What planet is this girl from? Besides even checking the weather doesn't give the exact condition (i.e. drizzle vs. cats and dogs). Mr. Brown, overhearing said conversation, kindly says "I'll drive you." I decline his offer seeing as he has to drive in mostly the opposite direction. I reply, "I will walk the rain; with pleasure; with pleasure" Yes, said twice plus one more. He accepts. She get in the car and starts pulling out. Mr Brown flags he down. "Wait! You'll take him as it only entails a 15 second stop on your way." She grinds the transmission pulling back in… (not the first time I've heard this automatic grind gears under her guidance).
I got in the car, thanked her, and kindly ask her not to road rage our fragile asses all the way to our usual drop off point. She road raged without any hesitation; bang bang over the first speed bump.
I've raced my fair share of cars and have ridden a motorcycle through some the nastiest/wickedest/most amazing roads (same roads btw) in North America. I have a great deal of respect for the condition of the vehicle, of the roads, and of my mind when operating a motor vehicle of any kind, especially at speed. I got out of the car within 15 – 30 seconds – into the pissing rain, as I believed it would safer for both of us.
Mr. Brown saved my ass once again and got me to work on time. Merci.
I asked Ms. Pink if she could kindly drive the 2km today as sopping wetness was not on my list of things to bring to work today. "My pleasure" was not the answer.
The answer was an enraged "go fuck yourself" (paraphrasing) followed by a "why didn't you ask me yesterday when I could've prepared!!!" – prepared? For the weather? What planet is this girl from? Besides even checking the weather doesn't give the exact condition (i.e. drizzle vs. cats and dogs). Mr. Brown, overhearing said conversation, kindly says "I'll drive you." I decline his offer seeing as he has to drive in mostly the opposite direction. I reply, "I will walk the rain; with pleasure; with pleasure" Yes, said twice plus one more. He accepts. She get in the car and starts pulling out. Mr Brown flags he down. "Wait! You'll take him as it only entails a 15 second stop on your way." She grinds the transmission pulling back in… (not the first time I've heard this automatic grind gears under her guidance).
I got in the car, thanked her, and kindly ask her not to road rage our fragile asses all the way to our usual drop off point. She road raged without any hesitation; bang bang over the first speed bump.
I've raced my fair share of cars and have ridden a motorcycle through some the nastiest/wickedest/most amazing roads (same roads btw) in North America. I have a great deal of respect for the condition of the vehicle, of the roads, and of my mind when operating a motor vehicle of any kind, especially at speed. I got out of the car within 15 – 30 seconds – into the pissing rain, as I believed it would safer for both of us.
Mr. Brown saved my ass once again and got me to work on time. Merci.
posted by Solman @ 4/04/2006 11:21:00 AM
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4/3/06
word: happenstance
happenstance: a circumstance especially that is due to chance
posted by Solman @ 4/03/2006 11:40:00 PM
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Hole in the wall
Just got an apt. back near the old hood. It ain't the Ritz... not even a Motel 8... 7? Ok, maybe 6 by time I'm done with it, but the price ($400/month) and location (foot of the mountain plateau side) are more than perfect and I can leave anytime I want (possibly within 3 months depending on how it feels).
It’s a stepping stone kinda situation, and as I am mostly a minimalist these days, this should be better than fine. It will serve as a “get my stuff outta storage” deal with a little “stuff back for BC” sprinkled on top for flavor. Oh, not to forget the death of “can I borrow a clean shirt and grab a shower?” preceded by the 12am phone call asking “dude. sorry, but can i crash?” thusly avoiding the tumultuous bus ride and multi km march home (i.e. 4 of the 11 days that i've had this job). It’s also got a parking spot for my buds with metal chariots and eventually my metal horse whenever I ride/ship it home.
Now to decide who gets a set of keys?
It’s a stepping stone kinda situation, and as I am mostly a minimalist these days, this should be better than fine. It will serve as a “get my stuff outta storage” deal with a little “stuff back for BC” sprinkled on top for flavor. Oh, not to forget the death of “can I borrow a clean shirt and grab a shower?” preceded by the 12am phone call asking “dude. sorry, but can i crash?” thusly avoiding the tumultuous bus ride and multi km march home (i.e. 4 of the 11 days that i've had this job). It’s also got a parking spot for my buds with metal chariots and eventually my metal horse whenever I ride/ship it home.
Now to decide who gets a set of keys?
posted by Solman @ 4/03/2006 11:04:00 PM
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word: defenestrate \dee-FEN-uh-strayt\
transitive verb: To throw out of a window.
"Some of his apparent chums... would still happily defenestrate him if they caught him near a window."
Damn that's a funny word.
"Some of his apparent chums... would still happily defenestrate him if they caught him near a window."
Damn that's a funny word.
posted by Solman @ 4/03/2006 12:59:00 PM
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4/2/06
The more we share
It’s the strangest little anomaly. The more we share, the more we receive. If someone out there doesn’t grasp these concepts of Karma or the overall “you get what you give/do onto others” concepts of design and determination in behavior - I’d be happy to a) share some of my experiences or b) Hm… there seems to be no b)… this is a good sign.
I know now that the “MY” in my life is no more than a secured fiction of my own perception and imagination. What I have to give can only be shared by example; by practice; by compromising. This will ultimately lead to the kind observation that is required to better discover the self, and thusly release it. So, with that said, leading by example should at its root tell me, that the I, like the US, is occasionally lost along the path at some given time; that we don’t always believe in what we’re doing; that it’s ok to be wrong.
This stuck in my head after Vipassana, that like yoga, my daily practices can and will vary, for the better and the worse. In yoga, forcing myself to touch my toes when my body cannot (and because of I did it yesterday and the day before), will take a part of what is the truth in yoga is away from me; equanimity. It’s better that I obverse the difference rather than try to be the me I might have been the days before (meditation made me call it “my nature” (self-implied status quo), but I know now that such a thing only exists because I want it to). Yesterday is not an actual reality, but in fact as unique and ever changing as the memory itself.
Anger, sadness, depression, desire, aversion, highs and lows, terrible and triumphant – all alike - are all part of that process… we are, like the oceans, the wind, and the fire, simply momentary anomalies of craving and aversion, of existence, should what we perceive be good or bad or whatever else. What might be possible, if I try that is, is a release of the self in the scope what is real in a possible truth that could be my live vs. a fictional manifestation of craving and aversion.
My friend is having a baby. I’ve know him for over 15 years. For one of the first times since I’ve known him (to love golf), he put his much loved stroke (symbolic of many self-motivated traits within all ourselves) lower on the list of his EXPECTATIONS and cravings. He told me that a year ago he "would’ve done yoga, hit the gym, seen a psych, whatever to shave 5+ strokes off (his) game.” Good. I mean what is golf game against a new born? In my mind, it’s less than the average in motivating self-improvement. And then, what about sharing those compromises in a conducive manner? It’s, again in my mind, certainly more than golfing a par course. He shared with me. I love you man ;) and watching you love something other than yourself (of course within this context) is more than inspiring. Cheers and know I’ll be here when you need or want me.
I know now that the “MY” in my life is no more than a secured fiction of my own perception and imagination. What I have to give can only be shared by example; by practice; by compromising. This will ultimately lead to the kind observation that is required to better discover the self, and thusly release it. So, with that said, leading by example should at its root tell me, that the I, like the US, is occasionally lost along the path at some given time; that we don’t always believe in what we’re doing; that it’s ok to be wrong.
This stuck in my head after Vipassana, that like yoga, my daily practices can and will vary, for the better and the worse. In yoga, forcing myself to touch my toes when my body cannot (and because of I did it yesterday and the day before), will take a part of what is the truth in yoga is away from me; equanimity. It’s better that I obverse the difference rather than try to be the me I might have been the days before (meditation made me call it “my nature” (self-implied status quo), but I know now that such a thing only exists because I want it to). Yesterday is not an actual reality, but in fact as unique and ever changing as the memory itself.
Anger, sadness, depression, desire, aversion, highs and lows, terrible and triumphant – all alike - are all part of that process… we are, like the oceans, the wind, and the fire, simply momentary anomalies of craving and aversion, of existence, should what we perceive be good or bad or whatever else. What might be possible, if I try that is, is a release of the self in the scope what is real in a possible truth that could be my live vs. a fictional manifestation of craving and aversion.
My friend is having a baby. I’ve know him for over 15 years. For one of the first times since I’ve known him (to love golf), he put his much loved stroke (symbolic of many self-motivated traits within all ourselves) lower on the list of his EXPECTATIONS and cravings. He told me that a year ago he "would’ve done yoga, hit the gym, seen a psych, whatever to shave 5+ strokes off (his) game.” Good. I mean what is golf game against a new born? In my mind, it’s less than the average in motivating self-improvement. And then, what about sharing those compromises in a conducive manner? It’s, again in my mind, certainly more than golfing a par course. He shared with me. I love you man ;) and watching you love something other than yourself (of course within this context) is more than inspiring. Cheers and know I’ll be here when you need or want me.
posted by Solman @ 4/02/2006 04:35:00 AM
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3/31/06
3/30/06
word: anfractuous \an-FRAK-chuh-wus\ adjective
anfractuous \an-FRAK-chuh-wus\ adjective
: full of windings and intricate turnings : tortuous
: full of windings and intricate turnings : tortuous
posted by Solman @ 3/30/2006 06:00:00 PM
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Baby you can drive my car
Did this fast (in Montreal):
Buspass @ $63 = 32 trips @ $1.92 ($1.92 being the discounted ticket price if you buy 6, else it be $2.50 per segment)
Average #WorkDays per month = 20
20 x $1.92 = $38.40 x 2 (i.e. the round trip) = $76.80 @ the discount
So that's pretty easy. Now let's drive:
Average cost per litre = $1
Average KM/L = 15KM (this is being generous)
This is just my day, not everyone's, but…
Approx KMs one way to my job (average suburban living) 22KM
Approx KMs to say head downtown/friend/store after work 8KM
Approx KM for a roundtrip day 60KM
60KM / 15 (KM avg. per litre) = 4L
4L x 1$ = $4
$4 x 20 days = $80 (approx gas budget required to drive 1200KM/month)
$80 + $400/month vehicle cost (again, generous because I'm including insurance, maintenance, parking, tickets, etc…) = $480/month
$480 / 1200KM = $0.40 per KM
So one day at work with a roundtrip of 60KM:
60KM x 0.40 = $24 per day (and again, being generous)
How much was that bus pass again? And that, in my opinion, should not be the primary reason for considering public transit. I often hear people tell me "I don't have time to sit on a bus" but…
"Buy this car to drive to work
Drive to work to pay for this car"
- [Yumily Haines from Metric]
Feel free to look at this from the EPA (1 US gallon = 3.7854118 litres) .
Buspass @ $63 = 32 trips @ $1.92 ($1.92 being the discounted ticket price if you buy 6, else it be $2.50 per segment)
Average #WorkDays per month = 20
20 x $1.92 = $38.40 x 2 (i.e. the round trip) = $76.80 @ the discount
So that's pretty easy. Now let's drive:
Average cost per litre = $1
Average KM/L = 15KM (this is being generous)
This is just my day, not everyone's, but…
Approx KMs one way to my job (average suburban living) 22KM
Approx KMs to say head downtown/friend/store after work 8KM
Approx KM for a roundtrip day 60KM
60KM / 15 (KM avg. per litre) = 4L
4L x 1$ = $4
$4 x 20 days = $80 (approx gas budget required to drive 1200KM/month)
$80 + $400/month vehicle cost (again, generous because I'm including insurance, maintenance, parking, tickets, etc…) = $480/month
$480 / 1200KM = $0.40 per KM
So one day at work with a roundtrip of 60KM:
60KM x 0.40 = $24 per day (and again, being generous)
How much was that bus pass again? And that, in my opinion, should not be the primary reason for considering public transit. I often hear people tell me "I don't have time to sit on a bus" but…
"Buy this car to drive to work
Drive to work to pay for this car"
- [Yumily Haines from Metric]
Feel free to look at this from the EPA (1 US gallon = 3.7854118 litres) .
posted by Solman @ 3/30/2006 03:02:00 PM
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Oh Chloé, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind
One word; one piece; one more reason to get up & out: Chloé
...and in four words: Les Chocolats De Chloé
...and in four words: Les Chocolats De Chloé
posted by Solman @ 3/30/2006 11:13:00 AM
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Shout out: Mike Lenczner
This is the first in a series I want to call the "Shout out" and it's just that… a chance for me* to give a shout out to prop and praise the passionate, particular, and remarkable… today's special:
Mike rocks – he's simply a great guy. Very considerate and aware of himself and those around him. He is also working hard to get something done within the "we the people" quotient à la Ile-Sans-Fil, not exactly a rarity in these times, but his perseverance and apparent selflessness** surely are. I guess we met as a result of some of these common traits (i.e. through the ISF connection).
* Me? What do I know? Really, it's just my way of saying thanks to the many and to put some positive energy out there…
** haven't know him that long, but sometimes you can just tell ;)
Mike rocks – he's simply a great guy. Very considerate and aware of himself and those around him. He is also working hard to get something done within the "we the people" quotient à la Ile-Sans-Fil, not exactly a rarity in these times, but his perseverance and apparent selflessness** surely are. I guess we met as a result of some of these common traits (i.e. through the ISF connection).
* Me? What do I know? Really, it's just my way of saying thanks to the many and to put some positive energy out there…
** haven't know him that long, but sometimes you can just tell ;)
posted by Solman @ 3/30/2006 10:58:00 AM
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French goddesses and socialettes
God damn are there some beautiful women in the city (in fact not all French), and moreover, in this here building. Trouble lies in focusing on any given one, so I'll focus on all of them, equally, and hope for something/someone that will elude my conscience mind; just take me; eliminate concepts of craving and aversion in whatever new relationship awaits me. In the mean time, I'll allow my heart to aneur. And how does one go about meeting and greeting these wonderfully… pause…
I've been eating dates. They are desirably sweet, moist, delicious and good for you. Could that be where the idea of "going on a date" originates? ;)
…wonderfully and desirably sweet visions and a proof of a higher power: the socialette. I HATE SMOKING, but love smoke breaks. The social cigarette has forever been a pillar in all my extroverted mandates. It provides we smokers with the indispensable ability to leave our desks, GO OUTSIDE, leave work behind, and discuss whatever over the 3 – 5 minutes we have together under the banners of "Wow. Are we ever dumb fucks for smoking!" and "Damn it's nice/cold/wet out!" and "So what's up/new/your name?" You'd be amazed how flattering it can be when someone chains a second socialette just to make it a 6 – 10 minute rendezvous.
I must figure out a way to maintain the qualities of socialette-isms without the inescapable 25 year reunion in a cancer ward and painfully reduced quality of life; pink has always been my color of choice. ;)
Maybe I could just light them and let them burn? Wash my hand after and done?
I've been eating dates. They are desirably sweet, moist, delicious and good for you. Could that be where the idea of "going on a date" originates? ;)
…wonderfully and desirably sweet visions and a proof of a higher power: the socialette. I HATE SMOKING, but love smoke breaks. The social cigarette has forever been a pillar in all my extroverted mandates. It provides we smokers with the indispensable ability to leave our desks, GO OUTSIDE, leave work behind, and discuss whatever over the 3 – 5 minutes we have together under the banners of "Wow. Are we ever dumb fucks for smoking!" and "Damn it's nice/cold/wet out!" and "So what's up/new/your name?" You'd be amazed how flattering it can be when someone chains a second socialette just to make it a 6 – 10 minute rendezvous.
I must figure out a way to maintain the qualities of socialette-isms without the inescapable 25 year reunion in a cancer ward and painfully reduced quality of life; pink has always been my color of choice. ;)
Maybe I could just light them and let them burn? Wash my hand after and done?
posted by Solman @ 3/30/2006 10:12:00 AM
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3/28/06
Scissor sister
The bank tells me I may never own a house and I'm able to smile it off. My sister, on the other hand, got me mad, and for the first time since my meditation, because she wouldn't (again) drive me the remaining 1.8km to work this morning. I am always willing to walk, it's just... well, I just think she could've done it. Lol. It was like my yesterself knew just what I would need to read first thing this morning.
My anger or disappointment was, after half a kilometer, replaced with compassion. She is so angry at everybody, and seemingly at herself, but I don't think she realizes it. She uses my mother's car on a daily basis, thusly leaving my autumned mother home alone without her wheels. The two of them have been getting, um, warm and warmer about the issue. Yesterday, I tried to suggest the realistic concept of sharing a day here and a day there - it bought me an ear full and another day on some dusty streets; like it was all my fault. Oh, and forget any possibility that I might need a car on occasion (i.e. tonight would've been good as I am invited to dinner in the city – and once again a choice between a 10:30 public transit curfew vs. the absorption of a 2 hour bus ride and then a 2km walk uphill).
Somewhere between doing nothing and concern for the well being of others has to exist a tier of constructive and non-intrusive compassion. Reconfirmed is that patience for the challenges in the lives others is a choice merit in situations like these, in trying to help others; ourselves; impermanence.
So sis, I'm sorry you're so upset with whatever it is that drives you to these mad road rage-ish behaviors that I keep seeing. Observation seem to yield that it's killing you softly. I'm sorry I got upset with you this morning, for my own sake at least, and even though I didn't really react. Let me know what I can do help, and let me start with more variable kilometer days on some dusty streets and umpteen hours on city buses. I will not only handle it, but find ways to enjoy it. You know where I am if and when you want to talk.
My dad asked that I keep the family outta the blog, so no more… enter Ms. Pink ;)
My anger or disappointment was, after half a kilometer, replaced with compassion. She is so angry at everybody, and seemingly at herself, but I don't think she realizes it. She uses my mother's car on a daily basis, thusly leaving my autumned mother home alone without her wheels. The two of them have been getting, um, warm and warmer about the issue. Yesterday, I tried to suggest the realistic concept of sharing a day here and a day there - it bought me an ear full and another day on some dusty streets; like it was all my fault. Oh, and forget any possibility that I might need a car on occasion (i.e. tonight would've been good as I am invited to dinner in the city – and once again a choice between a 10:30 public transit curfew vs. the absorption of a 2 hour bus ride and then a 2km walk uphill).
Somewhere between doing nothing and concern for the well being of others has to exist a tier of constructive and non-intrusive compassion. Reconfirmed is that patience for the challenges in the lives others is a choice merit in situations like these, in trying to help others; ourselves; impermanence.
So sis, I'm sorry you're so upset with whatever it is that drives you to these mad road rage-ish behaviors that I keep seeing. Observation seem to yield that it's killing you softly. I'm sorry I got upset with you this morning, for my own sake at least, and even though I didn't really react. Let me know what I can do help, and let me start with more variable kilometer days on some dusty streets and umpteen hours on city buses. I will not only handle it, but find ways to enjoy it. You know where I am if and when you want to talk.
My dad asked that I keep the family outta the blog, so no more… enter Ms. Pink ;)
posted by Solman @ 3/28/2006 10:37:00 AM
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3/27/06
So behind
One week at work and I feel one week behind... time management... need to read and write and then read again... I'm verging on feeling bad about letting myself down... but I haven't. I'm doing what I must; mostly.
Went to see the banks today about the whole "behind" thing - got escorted out.
"You'll have to find another financial institution sir" - nice.
Royal - out. TD - out. Who’s left and why do I care? Credit? Houses? Cars? RRSPs?
Convenience and comfort are mechanisms of ingenuity and acceptance and, when no one can drive, always be willing to walk ;)
Went to see the banks today about the whole "behind" thing - got escorted out.
"You'll have to find another financial institution sir" - nice.
Royal - out. TD - out. Who’s left and why do I care? Credit? Houses? Cars? RRSPs?
Convenience and comfort are mechanisms of ingenuity and acceptance and, when no one can drive, always be willing to walk ;)
posted by Solman @ 3/27/2006 11:33:00 PM
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Testing the an email post...
...which will allow me to post from work :)
posted by Solman @ 3/27/2006 07:32:00 AM
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3/24/06
Day away
I am so happy that this day is almost behind me. It is official; I am getting older - slowly.
Got an email today from the top brass stating that they are going to further restrict web access. As it stands, I can barely count on getting through to Google. Hm. Roger's managed over-changing me again – that's right, again – so that makes them 0 for 4 in the accurate invoice department. Jebus. Didn't get all heated this time around. Just asked for it to be fixed and they fixed it. I was considering picking up one of these GSM wificards to work around this Chinafication of my corporate internet, but I'm positive less is more with cell companies. Too bad… anyone have any ideas regarding being your own cellphone VoIP service provider?
Got an email today from the top brass stating that they are going to further restrict web access. As it stands, I can barely count on getting through to Google. Hm. Roger's managed over-changing me again – that's right, again – so that makes them 0 for 4 in the accurate invoice department. Jebus. Didn't get all heated this time around. Just asked for it to be fixed and they fixed it. I was considering picking up one of these GSM wificards to work around this Chinafication of my corporate internet, but I'm positive less is more with cell companies. Too bad… anyone have any ideas regarding being your own cellphone VoIP service provider?
posted by Solman @ 3/24/2006 03:02:00 PM
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We can walk it out
Used this to determine how far I'd have to walk home at say 3am. After a 30 minute ride on a night bus (that's not including the expected cross city core westbound jaunt, so add about a hour or a $10 – 15 cab ride), I get to walk a refreshing 1.7km uphill and burn me a whopping 180 calories.
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/
posted by Solman @ 3/24/2006 09:20:00 AM
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the 8:10 red eye
I was early for work today, but only as result of not getting home last night. Headed to Laika to work on an Ile-sans-fil application portal demo. Mike met me there to go over some of the details and we ended up getting hosed; licked; mashed. I crashed at his place and then came into work. I think I might keep a complete change of clothing here so that I might avoid wearing certain clothes two days in a row (obviously happy I wore layers yesterday). I look fresh but feel like curling up in a ball under my desk. I wonder when these types of mornings will become a memory.
On a brighter note, work has started to groove… getting used to smells, sounds, French, interactions, pace, and brightness (not so much on that one today). Heading home after this to watch a movie in bed. I think I'll have to add pain killers to that list of office survival wear... ouch...
On a brighter note, work has started to groove… getting used to smells, sounds, French, interactions, pace, and brightness (not so much on that one today). Heading home after this to watch a movie in bed. I think I'll have to add pain killers to that list of office survival wear... ouch...
posted by Solman @ 3/24/2006 08:13:00 AM
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3/21/06
Newjo like Cujo (evil by nature and not the dog's fault)
New job... hm... so far, so French, so freckled in the fringe of my mind, so fascist, so fuckin'... fuckin' good to get working - optimistic - my blog only loads to about 50% of what should be there; half full; find equanimity.
I'm at work now, making this posting because they ain`t gots nothing for me to do yet. "Accès Interdit" at every other click; dirty desk (like Mr Clean dirty, not Einstein dirty); sticky keyboard; water rusty; chair stained in just the right places; lights fluorescent; clocks that tick backwards; grey cubical walls; bad coffee in Styrofoam cups; coffeemate and stir sticks; overhearing consumerist manifestos; recycle nothing but the air, which between 10:30am and 2:00pm smells like tomato by-product on a bed of starch; MSN gone; RSS gone; POP/SMPT/WebMail gone; Firefox gone; BlogThis gone; This gone... find equanimity; understand impermanence, and... YOU CAN`T TOUCH MY IPOD YOU PROXY BITCH!!! (that was meant to be funny, not angry... yet)
Ok. Whatever. Gotta get outta my house and I need my bike back (lotsa Montreal/Sutton rounds trips expected this summer) - this should get those goals accomplished and I will accept it on such premise; observe it; not react. My family is so happy about this job while the people who love me cry for me. Don't cry... I'll figure it out.
One word...
...Vipassana.
I have returned a different man; diminished ego and a faction of the man I used to be, but a fraction of a whole. I've been such a fool for so long; forever. I love you all and I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner - we would've all had it a little better...
This is so hard. I am hurting in the most beautiful ways, but it really does hurt. Reality has fully morphed on me. Details to come I guess, but I'm not sure when...
Let's see if I can copy/paste this from Mot de Microsoft to the blog...
...nope; Blogger gone. Maybe I'll cry just one quiet tear... equanimously... diligently... aware... half full; half full; half full... breathe... live... love.
It doesn't matter how hard or long or well you iron your shirt, wrinkles will arise once you start to wear it. Keeping the wrinkles out requires a continuity of practice, and it's quite a challenge to iron a shirt all day; everyday - especially if you're still wearing it.
I'm at work now, making this posting because they ain`t gots nothing for me to do yet. "Accès Interdit" at every other click; dirty desk (like Mr Clean dirty, not Einstein dirty); sticky keyboard; water rusty; chair stained in just the right places; lights fluorescent; clocks that tick backwards; grey cubical walls; bad coffee in Styrofoam cups; coffeemate and stir sticks; overhearing consumerist manifestos; recycle nothing but the air, which between 10:30am and 2:00pm smells like tomato by-product on a bed of starch; MSN gone; RSS gone; POP/SMPT/WebMail gone; Firefox gone; BlogThis gone; This gone... find equanimity; understand impermanence, and... YOU CAN`T TOUCH MY IPOD YOU PROXY BITCH!!! (that was meant to be funny, not angry... yet)
Ok. Whatever. Gotta get outta my house and I need my bike back (lotsa Montreal/Sutton rounds trips expected this summer) - this should get those goals accomplished and I will accept it on such premise; observe it; not react. My family is so happy about this job while the people who love me cry for me. Don't cry... I'll figure it out.
One word...
...Vipassana.
I have returned a different man; diminished ego and a faction of the man I used to be, but a fraction of a whole. I've been such a fool for so long; forever. I love you all and I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner - we would've all had it a little better...
This is so hard. I am hurting in the most beautiful ways, but it really does hurt. Reality has fully morphed on me. Details to come I guess, but I'm not sure when...
Let's see if I can copy/paste this from Mot de Microsoft to the blog...
...nope; Blogger gone. Maybe I'll cry just one quiet tear... equanimously... diligently... aware... half full; half full; half full... breathe... live... love.
It doesn't matter how hard or long or well you iron your shirt, wrinkles will arise once you start to wear it. Keeping the wrinkles out requires a continuity of practice, and it's quite a challenge to iron a shirt all day; everyday - especially if you're still wearing it.
posted by Solman @ 3/21/2006 06:46:00 PM
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3/8/06
Really quickly
got a job: CCQ
gone meditating: see this
the irish suck: back on the 19th - it's a celebration - takers? (i think?)
gone meditating: see this
the irish suck: back on the 19th - it's a celebration - takers? (i think?)
posted by Solman @ 3/08/2006 04:40:00 PM
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3/6/06
The Sun Online - Bizarre online: The Simpsons come to life
D'oh!
The Simpsons come to life
By VINCE SOODIN and VERONICA LORRAINE (The Sun) - MAKERS of the hit cartoon The Simpsons have filmed the show's opening titles using real actors.
In the hit viral going around the world we get to see what Bart, Homer, Marg, Lisa and Maggie would look like if they were humans.
And you can be among the first to watch the hilarious titles, filmed over 18 months in Britain, by clicking one of the link below.
The clip re-enacts the title sequence to a tee beginning with the camera zooming into a schoolroom to see a blonde Bart scribbling lines on the blackboard.
Simpson’s maker Matt Groening has approved the human version of the show’s opening credits to promote the brand new series.
Sky One will broadcast the promo as its viewers gear up for the The Simpson's 17th season which begins on March 20.
An insider said: "We're really excited about it.
"We used regular actors, not so much for their resemblance - as you can't copy a bunch of yellow characters - but becuase you can easily identify with them."
A balding actor plays Homer as he leaves work dropping some nuclear waste out of the window on the way home.
While a baby girl copies the scene where Maggie appears to be driving Marg’s car.
The opening montage ends with the whole family squeezed on the settee ready to watch the cartoon version of the show.
The Simpsons come to life
posted by Solman @ 3/06/2006 10:45:00 AM
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Audi World Site > New Cars > Driveline & Suspension
Not sure what you might understand by reading this, but these transmissions are truely "outside the box". Got a chance to see one of the Multitronic systems at the UN climate change conference that was hosted in Montreal in Dec 2005... and yes, very cool.
Audi World Site > New Cars > Driveline & Suspension
Audi World Site > New Cars > Driveline & Suspension
posted by Solman @ 3/06/2006 09:44:00 AM
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3/3/06
OpenID: an actually distributed identity system
posted by Solman @ 3/03/2006 01:00:00 PM
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Ferrari North America - Ferrari Driving Experience
Hello hello; what's all this then? More money I "could" spend... to the tune of $8,500 USD. I think I can drive an F1 in Belgium for $12,000 USD... not sure what might be more productive - I KNOW I'll never get the chance to hop in an F1 car in "daily life", and know that people do own Ferrari's, so a) live the dream b) acquire a "reusable" skill set...
Ferrari North America - Ferrari Driving Experience
Neither fer now (lol!), and I'd have trouble spending that kind of money on myself without some way to reapply that skill-set... maybe those bank robbers in the UK with the 100M are looking for another driver ;)
Ferrari North America - Ferrari Driving Experience
Neither fer now (lol!), and I'd have trouble spending that kind of money on myself without some way to reapply that skill-set... maybe those bank robbers in the UK with the 100M are looking for another driver ;)
posted by Solman @ 3/03/2006 10:18:00 AM
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3/2/06
BBC NEWS | Telescopes 'worthless' by 2050
Sad... I like stars... and traveling:
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Telescopes 'worthless' by 2050
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Telescopes 'worthless' by 2050
"Ground-based astronomy could be impossible in 40 years because of pollution from aircraft exhaust trails and climate change, an expert says."
posted by Solman @ 3/02/2006 07:09:00 PM
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word: vacuous
Main Entry: vac·u·ous
Pronunciation: 'va-ky&-w&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin vacuus
1 : emptied of or lacking content
2 : marked by lack of ideas or intelligence : STUPID, INANE
"a vacuous mind" "a vacuous expression"
3 : devoid of serious occupation : IDLE
synonym see EMPTY
- vac·u·ous·ly adverb
- vac·u·ous·ness noun
Pronunciation: 'va-ky&-w&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin vacuus
1 : emptied of or lacking content
2 : marked by lack of ideas or intelligence : STUPID, INANE
"a vacuous mind" "a vacuous expression"
3 : devoid of serious occupation : IDLE
synonym see EMPTY
- vac·u·ous·ly adverb
- vac·u·ous·ness noun
posted by Solman @ 3/02/2006 03:43:00 PM
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3/1/06
WordPull
Done. Apache, mySQL, PHP, WordPress...
I wasn't hard; it wasn't easy (context and approach needed a little time).
So far, so good...
I wasn't hard; it wasn't easy (context and approach needed a little time).
So far, so good...
posted by Solman @ 3/01/2006 04:22:00 PM
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French-cais / Angl-ish
Traslation makes your mind work in a completely different fashion; like riding a completely different bike - still a bike, but different... different pedals, crank shaft, brakes, seat, wheels, gears, etc... it changes your canadence, endurance, and strength range... adjustment required.
posted by Solman @ 3/01/2006 09:53:00 AM
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2/27/06
Our egos...
...our self-being, will kill us all. I can't imagine starting any war without the word "i".
recent views:
BLOOD in BLOOD out
Hotel Rawanda
recent views:
BLOOD in BLOOD out
Hotel Rawanda
posted by Solman @ 2/27/2006 11:06:00 PM
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BBC NEWS | UK | England | Kent |
BBC NEWS | UK | England | Kent | Record £53m stolen in depot raid: "Raiders involved in Britain's biggest cash robbery got away with £53,116,760 in cash from the Securitas depot in Tonbridge, Kent Police have revealed."
posted by Solman @ 2/27/2006 01:06:00 PM
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2/26/06
The Templeton!
I finally got their site done. Comments? Suggestions?
The Templeton : www.thethempleton.com : thetempleton.blogspot.com
The Templeton : www.thethempleton.com : thetempleton.blogspot.com
posted by Solman @ 2/26/2006 04:27:00 PM
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2/24/06
Duhhn Tuuun
Right...
Letterman made fun of some band the same way; he was actually reading their CD cover (something like singing "from apples to tangerines, i love fruits, they keep lean". He was less than impressed.) This is funny.
Letterman made fun of some band the same way; he was actually reading their CD cover (something like singing "from apples to tangerines, i love fruits, they keep lean". He was less than impressed.) This is funny.
posted by Solman @ 2/24/2006 10:45:00 AM
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Hm. Why?
I return from my meditation on the 19th of March, aka, St. Irish Day "Par"-ain't-in-my-dictionar-ade... nice little test? From heaven to hell in a day? Something to look forward to? Something to forgo?
Something fer sure...
Something fer sure...
posted by Solman @ 2/24/2006 09:07:00 AM
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2/23/06
FDISK
12am last night; i think i'm ready; do it.
bye bye microsoft. well, still got me a complete install of Visual Studio 2005 with SQL and the likes, but open office, mozilla... ya know - actually, the list:
windows xp, open office
firefox (with various ext), thunderbird (with various ext incl. iCal calendar)
vs.net 2005, sql 2005, php 5.1.2, apache 2.0.55, mySQL 5.0..18
itunes, winamp, media monkey, euPod
google pack
network stumbler, virtual pc
AC3 Fliter, Ad-Ware, Alt-Tab Swticher ,Beyond Compare, Bit Torrent
CuteFTP, DivX, HP Scanner, iScrobbler, MS AntiSpyware, Plaxo, WinZip,
WinRAR, Tweak UI
bye bye microsoft. well, still got me a complete install of Visual Studio 2005 with SQL and the likes, but open office, mozilla... ya know - actually, the list:
windows xp, open office
firefox (with various ext), thunderbird (with various ext incl. iCal calendar)
vs.net 2005, sql 2005, php 5.1.2, apache 2.0.55, mySQL 5.0..18
itunes, winamp, media monkey, euPod
google pack
network stumbler, virtual pc
AC3 Fliter, Ad-Ware, Alt-Tab Swticher ,Beyond Compare, Bit Torrent
CuteFTP, DivX, HP Scanner, iScrobbler, MS AntiSpyware, Plaxo, WinZip,
WinRAR, Tweak UI
posted by Solman @ 2/23/2006 01:02:00 PM
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2/22/06
La Nuit Électronik, 3ème Édition
This may be the event of choice for after BOA this Saturday (i.e. my birthday party):
La Nuit Électronik, 3ème Édition
La Nuit Électronik, 3ème Édition
posted by Solman @ 2/22/2006 12:55:00 PM
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Police, Crown draw drug line
This should be interesting:
Vancouver Police, Crown draw drug line
Vancouver Police, Crown draw drug line
Insp. Bob Rolls, who is in charge of District 2, the northeast section of the city that includes the Downtown Eastside, announced a new enforcement program against public drug use.
"There's no other city in North America that would put up with this," he said.
"We don't allow this for consuming alcohol, yet we allow it for cocaine and heroin. This doesn't make sense."
There will be zero tolerance for crack cocaine smoking or intravenous drug injections in public, he said, noting officers have arrested five people since the crackdown began at the end of last week.
posted by Solman @ 2/22/2006 10:40:00 AM
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2/21/06
word: agitprop
someone used this word over the weekend and i had to ask what it meant:
agitprop \AJ-it-prop\, noun:
Propaganda, especially pro-communist political propaganda disseminated through literature, drama, music, or art.
agitprop \AJ-it-prop\, noun:
Propaganda, especially pro-communist political propaganda disseminated through literature, drama, music, or art.
posted by Solman @ 2/21/2006 04:52:00 PM
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word: titivate
titivate \TIT-uh-vayt\, transitive and intransitive verb:
To smarten up; to spruce up.
To smarten up; to spruce up.
posted by Solman @ 2/21/2006 04:05:00 PM
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Job Shytes
I appreciate context and relativity, but wow is it ever a repetitive task to apply for jobs online. This idea of the “Who are you?” online profile deal is becoming a small but growing waste of time. Over and over:
Subscribe, name, address, position, salary, username, etc… between the jobs, the blogs, the logs, the hogs…
Suggestion: use a unique identifier, like a SIN or something, and create a base non proprietary open-source secure, um, passport that might minimize this constant and ever growing redundancy. I realize that MS tried; shall we try again (but get it right?).
Subscribe, name, address, position, salary, username, etc… between the jobs, the blogs, the logs, the hogs…
Suggestion: use a unique identifier, like a SIN or something, and create a base non proprietary open-source secure, um, passport that might minimize this constant and ever growing redundancy. I realize that MS tried; shall we try again (but get it right?).
posted by Solman @ 2/21/2006 02:00:00 PM
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2/20/06
word: terse
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): ters·er; ters·est
Etymology: Latin tersus clean, neat, from past participle of tergEre to wipe off
1 : smoothly elegant : POLISHED
2 : devoid of superfluity (a terse summary); also : SHORT, BRUSQUE
synonym see CONCISE
- terse·ly adverb
- terse·ness noun
Inflected Form(s): ters·er; ters·est
Etymology: Latin tersus clean, neat, from past participle of tergEre to wipe off
1 : smoothly elegant : POLISHED
2 : devoid of superfluity (a terse summary); also : SHORT, BRUSQUE
synonym see CONCISE
- terse·ly adverb
- terse·ness noun
posted by Solman @ 2/20/2006 04:11:00 PM
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Hot/Cool
"Your're hot"
"I'm not hot... I'm just cool."
"You're hot 'cause you're cool!"
lol.
"I'm not hot... I'm just cool."
"You're hot 'cause you're cool!"
lol.
posted by Solman @ 2/20/2006 11:20:00 AM
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2/19/06
Everybody Knows
Everybody Knows
by Leonard Cohen
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows that the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight is fixed
the poor stay poor and the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows that the boat is sinking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody's got this broken feeling
Like their Momma or there dog just died
Everybody's hands are in their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
and a long stem rose
Everybody knows
...
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that its now or never
Everybody knows that its me or you
Everybody knows that you live forever
When you had a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old black Joe still pickin' cotton
for ribbons and bows
Everybody knows you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you been faithful
Give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you been discrete
So many people you had to meet
without your clothes
and Everybody knows
...
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
and Everybody knows
by Leonard Cohen
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows that the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight is fixed
the poor stay poor and the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows that the boat is sinking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody's got this broken feeling
Like their Momma or there dog just died
Everybody's hands are in their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
and a long stem rose
Everybody knows
...
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that its now or never
Everybody knows that its me or you
Everybody knows that you live forever
When you had a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old black Joe still pickin' cotton
for ribbons and bows
Everybody knows you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you been faithful
Give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you been discrete
So many people you had to meet
without your clothes
and Everybody knows
...
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
and Everybody knows
posted by Solman @ 2/19/2006 12:48:00 PM
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Last of...
(alternate title "LaVigne/LaVile")
I've seen some nasty shit in my time. I've taken most it in stride and with the ability to understand what I was seeing. Even when the towers fell in NYC, as devastated as I was, I still had some frame of reference. The event was within an extreme but understandable scope of human nature.
Last night, I met someone outside of my scope of reasonable understanding.
Last night, I was ill. I was so repulsed that it hurt my gut - physically. I was literally heaving. I have never in my whole life been brought to a gag reflex by individual’s behavior. I didn't even think it was possiblity for me.
I feel (a little)...
...less innocent
...less naïve
...less open
I will not let this bleed into my general optimism regarding the human condition and how I’d like to live my life.
I will not let last night destroy the last of… my faith in… real passion; real love… for what is real and true, in life and in love; respect for ourselves.
Hope it was fun for you… good luck with that.
I've seen some nasty shit in my time. I've taken most it in stride and with the ability to understand what I was seeing. Even when the towers fell in NYC, as devastated as I was, I still had some frame of reference. The event was within an extreme but understandable scope of human nature.
Last night, I met someone outside of my scope of reasonable understanding.
Last night, I was ill. I was so repulsed that it hurt my gut - physically. I was literally heaving. I have never in my whole life been brought to a gag reflex by individual’s behavior. I didn't even think it was possiblity for me.
I feel (a little)...
...less innocent
...less naïve
...less open
I will not let this bleed into my general optimism regarding the human condition and how I’d like to live my life.
I will not let last night destroy the last of… my faith in… real passion; real love… for what is real and true, in life and in love; respect for ourselves.
Hope it was fun for you… good luck with that.
posted by Solman @ 2/19/2006 11:47:00 AM
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2/16/06
Me @ 7 maybe?
found this in a drawer... lol.
If I could give my 7 year old self some advice...
hm...
pondering...
(Several hours later)...
Don't let the status quo intimidate you. There is no one right answer.
If I could give my 7 year old self some advice...
hm...
pondering...
(Several hours later)...
Don't let the status quo intimidate you. There is no one right answer.
posted by Solman @ 2/16/2006 06:23:00 PM
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HipHip
...hooray? Don't really care, but I just broke 100+ in that there cluster map deally (see Blogorati in the sidebar)... kinda cool. 1000+ here i come...
posted by Solman @ 2/16/2006 01:16:00 AM
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2/15/06
Roger's Tele-pain-in-my-ass
RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTT - but later... b/c I’m going to wait and see how this REPEATING PROBLEM gets solved THIS TIME. Been back since Dec... Roger's FUCKED UP every bill (i.e. 3)... must be hard running a company professionally, well, I'll ask them when they actually GET THERE!!!!!
Two rants in as many weeks. What to do? Everything myself can't be the answer...
I swear... the way I do business is going to change at a fundamental level, especially when dealing with service based industries.
It is 3:23pm. I was assured a call within 48 hours (after being informed that "her" manager doesn't take calls - pause... "So what do I do?" I asked. "My manager can call you". Anne (employee number 730 3462), why did I have to ask? Why is this need to solve a minor problem greeted by with fragmented information, insolence, and a complete lack of coherence?
Let's see it Roger's.
P.S. If a client types rogers.com (plus click for Consumer/Business) into a browser, he/she gets redirected to shoprogers.com – do I need to draw this audacity out for anyone?
Ok. much calmer… last rant ever (I wish)!
Two rants in as many weeks. What to do? Everything myself can't be the answer...
I swear... the way I do business is going to change at a fundamental level, especially when dealing with service based industries.
It is 3:23pm. I was assured a call within 48 hours (after being informed that "her" manager doesn't take calls - pause... "So what do I do?" I asked. "My manager can call you". Anne (employee number 730 3462), why did I have to ask? Why is this need to solve a minor problem greeted by with fragmented information, insolence, and a complete lack of coherence?
Let's see it Roger's.
P.S. If a client types rogers.com (plus click for Consumer/Business) into a browser, he/she gets redirected to shoprogers.com – do I need to draw this audacity out for anyone?
Ok. much calmer… last rant ever (I wish)!
posted by Solman @ 2/15/2006 03:18:00 PM
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2/14/06
PHP
ok. so unless i get "the call" I want from this seemingly endless foray into "hurry up and wait", I am taking on PHP and open source... 2 steps at a time...
O'Reilly?
O'Reilly?
posted by Solman @ 2/14/2006 03:08:00 PM
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Tire dears
For the first time since i got my iPod, my ears are tired before the battery. YEAH! Any podcast favs someone wants to recommend? I'm currently subscribed to 30+ podcasts totally 8+ gig. My absolute number one favorite:
CBC Radio 3
CBC Radio 3
posted by Solman @ 2/14/2006 02:03:00 PM
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Clic Clak Dadatak
My dad took me to see his operation today (my first time) - a massive dried and frozen food goods warehouse. I met his entire staff. I haven’t been my dad’s son, at least not in that way, in a long time. He asked me to shave before we left the house. Funny.
posted by Solman @ 2/14/2006 01:59:00 PM
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2/13/06
protag
How can you not love it (at least a little)?
posted by Solman @ 2/13/2006 10:08:00 PM
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Burn baby
What should I torch after watching this?
nothing!
jebus.
nothing!
jebus.
posted by Solman @ 2/13/2006 05:17:00 PM
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m.e.t.r.i.c.
gots me a ticket (+1 for the friend who actually GOT THEM!!! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!).
offically a party now... takers?
offically a party now... takers?
posted by Solman @ 2/13/2006 02:36:00 PM
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2/12/06
2/10/06
Valuntynz
Freewill Astrology borrowed me this:
i hunger for you "without knowing how, or when, or from where" - or who...
...another v day without knowing you... ;) a bientot j'espere.
I love you between shadow and soul. I love you as the plant that hasn't bloomed yet, and carries hidden within itself the light of flowers. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. Because of you, the dense fragrance that rises from the earth lives in my body, rioting with hunger for the eternity of our victorious kisses. - [Pablo Neruda]
i hunger for you "without knowing how, or when, or from where" - or who...
...another v day without knowing you... ;) a bientot j'espere.
posted by Solman @ 2/10/2006 02:32:00 PM
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BYOB - eco-chic reusable shopping bags
These friends of mine started this company out in BC; Bring Your Own Bag. I really want to help them push things forward, so I’ve included the link under the "Links" sections of this blog.
Please help by buying a bag. It is small local businesses like these that need our attention and support if we are going to make a tangible and sustainable difference in the way things are getting done.
Capitalism can work better (or at least more sustainably) if we:
Buy local
Buy whole
Buy at real value (vs. economic manifestations of perceived value)
Buy what we need vs. what we want and want and want...
...and maybe look good doing it ;)
Thanks to Liz and Jenny for making it happen.
Let me know if I can help.
Please help by buying a bag. It is small local businesses like these that need our attention and support if we are going to make a tangible and sustainable difference in the way things are getting done.
Capitalism can work better (or at least more sustainably) if we:
Buy local
Buy whole
Buy at real value (vs. economic manifestations of perceived value)
Buy what we need vs. what we want and want and want...
...and maybe look good doing it ;)
Thanks to Liz and Jenny for making it happen.
Let me know if I can help.
posted by Solman @ 2/10/2006 02:06:00 PM
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Imperial
Metric is coming!!!! Anybody who wants to come, or more importantly, take me (as a birthday present maybe? Tickets cost money I don't have... grr), here is the link for tickets.
I can cook a delicious dinner beforehand as a way of saying "please do it!" ;)
I can cook a delicious dinner beforehand as a way of saying "please do it!" ;)
posted by Solman @ 2/10/2006 01:24:00 PM
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Imam
While listening to CJAD Talk Radio, an Imam (the prayer leader of a mosque) said something like:
Certainly better than burning things... let’s try to not criticize but to empathize with "the oppressed". I was raised a Muslim – now I am a Christewslimuddha – for me, it’s all about…
KARMA: the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence.
TRANSMIGRATION: to pass at death from one body or being to another.
I’ve transmigrated, in a sense, from one self-being to another. I hope to continue…
So the point here is to treat disrespect with respect, angry with empathy, violence with peace – to lead by example…
"If you want to create a real change, fill the Mosques instead of the streets"
Certainly better than burning things... let’s try to not criticize but to empathize with "the oppressed". I was raised a Muslim – now I am a Christewslimuddha – for me, it’s all about…
KARMA: the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence.
TRANSMIGRATION: to pass at death from one body or being to another.
I’ve transmigrated, in a sense, from one self-being to another. I hope to continue…
So the point here is to treat disrespect with respect, angry with empathy, violence with peace – to lead by example…
posted by Solman @ 2/10/2006 11:40:00 AM
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2/9/06
La BIOTA
This is cool. They claim to have produced a plastic bottle that can decompose in 80 days (carbon credits may be required). Requires validation:
BIOTA
BIOTA
posted by Solman @ 2/09/2006 07:10:00 PM
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word: substrate
Main Entry: sub·strate
Function: noun
Etymology: Medieval Latin substratum
1: SUBSTRATUM
2: the base on which an organism lives <the soil is the substrate of most seed plants>
3: a substance acted upon (as by an enzyme)
Function: noun
Etymology: Medieval Latin substratum
1: SUBSTRATUM
2: the base on which an organism lives <the soil is the substrate of most seed plants>
3: a substance acted upon (as by an enzyme)
posted by Solman @ 2/09/2006 06:44:00 PM
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STCUM: RANT RANT RANT RANT
I am a very easy going person (some might disagree b/c I get all serious when it happens to matter, but whatever), so understand that this really did piss me off. Last night, I made $20 DJing. Good. Needed the cash, but also needed to travel +30KM to get back home (at 1am).
I get on the bus and ask the bus driver if a connecting bus was still going to be running at 1am. He said yes. I got off the bus at the connection terminal still +15KM away for my destination. The bus I was on (the second to last of the night) left the terminal. I walked over to the connecting bus stop only to find out it stopped running at 11pm. SOB!
I don’t know everything. I easily admit that. When being asked for directions, I say that I don’t know if that is that case. Did this bus driver make an error, try his best, or just not care to give me the information I needed to get home. It ended up costing me a $20 cab ride (FYI: 20 seconds in a Montreal taxi @ 100km/h = $1 or $3 a minute). SOB!
Anyway, buddy, driver dear, if ya don’t know, don’t share. I woulda stayed on yer 12:50 211 leaving Lionel Grioux bus heading West on Thursday the 9th of February, 2006. STCUM STCUM! If you made a mistake, ok, peace, but know that I could have made a few phone calls from the bus that would’ve saved me the frustration, money, and time. Next time, I will. STCUM!
Let me add that had I not gotten paid for my night’s work, I would’ve been waking up a few 9 to 5ers to get a lift. Good thing this only affected one person for one day!
It was suggested that I should’ve asked in French; ignoring that b/c I want to esstee.
The truth is out there.
I get on the bus and ask the bus driver if a connecting bus was still going to be running at 1am. He said yes. I got off the bus at the connection terminal still +15KM away for my destination. The bus I was on (the second to last of the night) left the terminal. I walked over to the connecting bus stop only to find out it stopped running at 11pm. SOB!
I don’t know everything. I easily admit that. When being asked for directions, I say that I don’t know if that is that case. Did this bus driver make an error, try his best, or just not care to give me the information I needed to get home. It ended up costing me a $20 cab ride (FYI: 20 seconds in a Montreal taxi @ 100km/h = $1 or $3 a minute). SOB!
Anyway, buddy, driver dear, if ya don’t know, don’t share. I woulda stayed on yer 12:50 211 leaving Lionel Grioux bus heading West on Thursday the 9th of February, 2006. STCUM STCUM! If you made a mistake, ok, peace, but know that I could have made a few phone calls from the bus that would’ve saved me the frustration, money, and time. Next time, I will. STCUM!
Let me add that had I not gotten paid for my night’s work, I would’ve been waking up a few 9 to 5ers to get a lift. Good thing this only affected one person for one day!
It was suggested that I should’ve asked in French; ignoring that b/c I want to esstee.
The truth is out there.
posted by Solman @ 2/09/2006 04:15:00 PM
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2/8/06
Kafein
Wow. Just met with ISF (Ile-Sans-Fil). Good times. Now, I am DJing, while posting, using ISF - just took the picture too... this is nuts. I love it.
Anybody want to recommend a sleeping aid b/c I've lost the intent ;)
Anybody want to recommend a sleeping aid b/c I've lost the intent ;)
posted by Solman @ 2/08/2006 11:07:00 PM
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Warehauser
My time in that warehouse last month gave me some long lost perspective on my need to constantly be doing… it’s so past time for my first Vipassana visit.
So here are the more or less idle thoughts that flowed through my head while I attached ionizers and popped filters into fan blades (I took notes in the warehouse and now need them somewhere accessible, so this is more for me the anyone else):
So here are the more or less idle thoughts that flowed through my head while I attached ionizers and popped filters into fan blades (I took notes in the warehouse and now need them somewhere accessible, so this is more for me the anyone else):
Create C# eCommerce sample (meeting someone tomorrow to look at best practices)
Rock Koton (or RocKoton - band name derived from how I was feeling)
Resentment can cause me to act tough – donwannabe acting.
I had been trying to control my feelings by forcing closure(s) – the (s) means that I failed repeatedly but continued to slam that door closed harder each time... retrospectively foolish.
Explore my zodiac
Text messaging and I are not good bedfellows – I am to tech to invite it into the palm of my hand.
Review the 4 (more on this later)
Create/get involved with non-profits.
Travel professionally
Post lyrics to "How many roads..." – not done yet.
Visit CBC Radio 3 website
"If you always get what you want, you might just find, you’ll never get what you need" – [Iwro Tethis] (Ok. gonna say this only once. This is my decided pseudonym "I worte this" – or – Iwro Tethis)
Make music more scientific (i.e. open your eyes and learn from others)
Register @ Concordia (working on it)
Loose The Simpsons (still working on it)
Send goodies to BC (still need to a job b4 this can happen)
QUIT SMOKING
posted by Solman @ 2/08/2006 01:11:00 PM
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tonight's lineup
Come together (beatles)
Dead or alive (bjovi)
Sweet child of mine (gnr)
Dead or alive (bjovi)
Sweet child of mine (gnr)
posted by Solman @ 2/08/2006 01:35:00 AM
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2/7/06
Oppknock!
Opportunity knocks... Technobrati (that's for jenn!) has linked me up with an opportunity to get what needs to get done, done.
Tonight, learning.
Tomorrow, DJ interview and then L’Utopic for what should be a wicked little rendezvous with Ile-Sans-Fil.
By Friday, new architecture job?
On vera et on continue...
breathe...
Tonight, learning.
Tomorrow, DJ interview and then L’Utopic for what should be a wicked little rendezvous with Ile-Sans-Fil.
By Friday, new architecture job?
On vera et on continue...
breathe...
posted by Solman @ 2/07/2006 02:17:00 PM
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Microsoft [gumsnet] - Montreal Feb 7th, 2006
Heading to this tonight (@ 4:07):
Le projet LinQ (anglais) 2006-02-07
Ted Neward is an independent consultant specializing in high-scale enterprise systems, working with clients ranging in size from Fortune 500 corporations to small 10-person shops. He is an authority in Java and .NET technologies, particularly in the areas of Java/.NET integration (both in-process and via integration tools like Web services), back-end enterprise software systems, and virtual machine/execution engine plumbing. He is the author or co-author of several books, including Effective Enterprise Java, C# In a Nutshell, SSCLI Essentials, Server-Based Java Programming, and a contributor to several technology journals. Ted is also a Microsoft MVP for Architecture, BEA Technical Director, INETA speaker, DevelopMentor trainer, frequent conference speaker, and a member of various JSRs. He lives in the Pacific Northwest with his wife, two sons, two cats, and eight PCs. Reach him at ted@tedneward.com or visit blogs.tedneward.com.
posted by Solman @ 2/07/2006 01:55:00 PM
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BMW
4:07 bus to be somewhere for 6:00. jebus.
i will not own a car. i will make my time on public transit productive towards that end.
podcasts and a new battery. giddy up.
i will not own a car. i will make my time on public transit productive towards that end.
podcasts and a new battery. giddy up.
posted by Solman @ 2/07/2006 01:25:00 PM
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2/6/06
old skool!
looks like i may just be fortunate enough to get that shift or two a week i was hoping for. my application for that DJ gig did not fall into idle hands. maybe they'll let me get a small event together a la art show/live band/tech something. Ile sans fils is what took me there. maybe i'll just spin...
i have a meeting them (him) this week.
i have a meeting them (him) this week.
posted by Solman @ 2/06/2006 06:42:00 PM
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2/5/06
Leaving on a jet plane?
pending good word regarding the prospective job (knock on good) - all signs point me towards an airport, YVR bound; just a visit; half business/half pleasure; 3-7 days; leave empty, return packing; take care of my bike: Phase 1 (4 phases to this “bike” deal, ending with me riding back East, or Phase 4 ;) - and of course some payback and presents.
Karma hasn’t come to find and remind me about “how things went down” because I remember. I actually get excited thinking about… making it up? Giving it back? Lending a hand? Just making it so… fun.
gonna eat so much fish... so much... some, and then some more.
Karma hasn’t come to find and remind me about “how things went down” because I remember. I actually get excited thinking about… making it up? Giving it back? Lending a hand? Just making it so… fun.
gonna eat so much fish... so much... some, and then some more.
posted by Solman @ 2/05/2006 03:10:00 PM
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Lithium (Li-Ion) vs. Lithium Polymer (LiPo)
I just wanted a new battery for my iPod, ended up learning a little about polymer.
Lithium ion battery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lithium ion polymer battery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lithium ion battery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lithium ion polymer battery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
posted by Solman @ 2/05/2006 02:58:00 PM
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2/3/06
Frame 3
Guy 1: Gonna puke... get off me homo.
Guy 2: Need a light. Need a light.
Guy 2: Need a light. Need a light.
posted by Solman @ 2/03/2006 03:56:00 PM
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Blogsposee
So, the job interview went really well, at least in my opinion. I get an answer next week.
Interesting thing tho… he did mention this here said whatzama hmm_uhoh blog.
He suggested that I not just - put it out there. Hm. Hm. Not sure about this one, but I will say that someone, as result of my munsterpiece, had to vouch for my, um, sanity?
So, I know it’s there. I know that some will find it should they try even a little. It’s not that I don’t care, because I really do, but I’m not that concerned about it “messing things up”. I actually think it means to "make things better".
I can pretend. I can hide. I can talk the talk. I can lie. I can wear a tie (and I did; nice blue one with orange stripes – he wore a cool t-shirt with a logo that I thought I’d remember – and he needed a haircut more than I did - nice - long live da fro yo! It will survive!).
I can... I will be me.
"I am what I am"
I am…
... not perfect; learning
... not playing; committed
... not the sum of just a few parts; whole.
... not a moment; eternity.
... us; us is I.
... always seeking change; changing.
Just in case: How to read this blog.
Interesting thing tho… he did mention this here said whatzama hmm_uhoh blog.
He suggested that I not just - put it out there. Hm. Hm. Not sure about this one, but I will say that someone, as result of my munsterpiece, had to vouch for my, um, sanity?
So, I know it’s there. I know that some will find it should they try even a little. It’s not that I don’t care, because I really do, but I’m not that concerned about it “messing things up”. I actually think it means to "make things better".
I can pretend. I can hide. I can talk the talk. I can lie. I can wear a tie (and I did; nice blue one with orange stripes – he wore a cool t-shirt with a logo that I thought I’d remember – and he needed a haircut more than I did - nice - long live da fro yo! It will survive!).
I can... I will be me.
"I am what I am"
I am…
... not perfect; learning
... not playing; committed
... not the sum of just a few parts; whole.
... not a moment; eternity.
... us; us is I.
... always seeking change; changing.
Just in case: How to read this blog.
posted by Solman @ 2/03/2006 02:42:00 PM
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Book of...
...JOB interview tomorrow; today.
Wish there was soft voice in my ear telling me I'M THE BEST as I lay my nervous ass to sleep.
I thought about Vancouver all day today. Not sure why; maybe I'm hungry? Maybe that octopus video? Maybe that octopus video made me hungry? lol.
mmmmmmmmm 8pus... with a big bowl of wakame. 2 pcs of Saba (a.k.a. ~100 grams in BC). miso to start. maybe a veg tempura. maybe a just a yam tempura. green tea. let's add a bowl of spinach gomae. ok. last thing... 2 uni. done.
Wish there was soft voice in my ear telling me I'M THE BEST as I lay my nervous ass to sleep.
I thought about Vancouver all day today. Not sure why; maybe I'm hungry? Maybe that octopus video? Maybe that octopus video made me hungry? lol.
mmmmmmmmm 8pus... with a big bowl of wakame. 2 pcs of Saba (a.k.a. ~100 grams in BC). miso to start. maybe a veg tempura. maybe a just a yam tempura. green tea. let's add a bowl of spinach gomae. ok. last thing... 2 uni. done.
posted by Solman @ 2/03/2006 12:43:00 AM
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2/2/06
Pisces Horoscope for week of February 2, 2006
Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 20)
"We are what we pretend to be," wrote author Kurt Vonnegut, "so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." This is excellent advice to keep at the forefront of your awareness during the coming weeks, Pisces. Here's how I interpret his statement: There's not necessarily anything wrong with playing a role if that role is in alignment with your highest values. In fact, to make believe that you are the person you want to be is an excellent strategy for actually becoming the person you want to be.Freewill Astrology
posted by Solman @ 2/02/2006 11:54:00 AM
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Oddly enough
To my continuing surprise, I am simply not welcomed in my family’s house. i won't present details becuase I'm not taking it personally, but... this negative energy is killing me softly. Strangers have been kinder and more patient with me during this arduous time in my life. So, here is the surprising list of the things I am going to do if I get this job:
1) Forgot about it, but had to squeeze this into the number one slot because “happy feet = happy legs” or whatever, so: DUNHAM WAFFLE STOMPERS
2) This is most amazing to me, but like lighting, I am securing my own space – outta here, not because I want to or need to, but because they need me to.
3) Internet connection
4) Secure MTL debt load
5) Secure BC debt load
6) TASCAM US-122
7) Audio-Technica AT2020
8) My remaining stuff from BC.
9) Enough money to fly out to BC, buy dinner for 30 people, snowboard x number of times, Grouse Grind, and ride my bike back.
1) Forgot about it, but had to squeeze this into the number one slot because “happy feet = happy legs” or whatever, so: DUNHAM WAFFLE STOMPERS
2) This is most amazing to me, but like lighting, I am securing my own space – outta here, not because I want to or need to, but because they need me to.
3) Internet connection
4) Secure MTL debt load
5) Secure BC debt load
6) TASCAM US-122
7) Audio-Technica AT2020
8) My remaining stuff from BC.
9) Enough money to fly out to BC, buy dinner for 30 people, snowboard x number of times, Grouse Grind, and ride my bike back.
posted by Solman @ 2/02/2006 11:17:00 AM
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Seeing an osteopath path tomorrow...
Osteopaths primarily work through the neuro-musculo-skeletal system, mostly on muscles and joints, and pay special attention to how the internal organs affect, and are affected by, that system. Relevant psychological and social factors also form part of the diagnosis. Another important principle of osteopathy is that the body has its own self-healing mechanisms, which can be utilised as part of the treatment.
posted by Solman @ 2/02/2006 12:18:00 AM
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Next stages
Detox:95%
MetalStability:80%
Desire:110%
Health:30% (of desired)
Vices:80%
Next? Hm... vice adjustment.
My list is... longer than the average. I’m tough, but getting old. Time to adjust, so, job interview, then - adjust. The goal? Nothing more than daily practices; do yoga; eat right; don’t smoke; detoxify; don’t deprecate; floss; less oil – daily.
Whatever – let’s push things forward.
MetalStability:80%
Desire:110%
Health:30% (of desired)
Vices:80%
Next? Hm... vice adjustment.
My list is... longer than the average. I’m tough, but getting old. Time to adjust, so, job interview, then - adjust. The goal? Nothing more than daily practices; do yoga; eat right; don’t smoke; detoxify; don’t deprecate; floss; less oil – daily.
Whatever – let’s push things forward.
posted by Solman @ 2/02/2006 12:02:00 AM
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2/1/06
Between rocks
I’ve been between rocks are hard places before. And most of the time, I just intrinsically know what to do. I assumed this innate knowledge was not a fleeting property of my being, but doubt seeps in, and doubt can destroy notions of innateness; faith.
I’m losing faith, but it ain’t altogether a bad thing. I think a more realistic and compromising approach is required in cases, and I want to be able to think that way.
Ideal(ism)s are perspective; maps and metadata; patterns; compromising patterns.
Addicted to oil? No.
Addicted to being right; addicted to ourselves; addicted to our perspective ideals.
In my opinion, the most serious addictions are often about what one wants and less about how one gets it.
I’m losing faith, but it ain’t altogether a bad thing. I think a more realistic and compromising approach is required in cases, and I want to be able to think that way.
Ideal(ism)s are perspective; maps and metadata; patterns; compromising patterns.
Addicted to oil? No.
Addicted to being right; addicted to ourselves; addicted to our perspective ideals.
In my opinion, the most serious addictions are often about what one wants and less about how one gets it.
posted by Solman @ 2/01/2006 11:33:00 PM
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Days slip
Days are slipping past me, not because I’m letting them; they just are.
Everything is “happening”; good. I got a job interview Friday; good cash; good opportunity.
When I lived in BC, I felt my body; my food. I was aware of it; of its grandeur. It was fit; real; hard. It was hard from me wanting it to be and from my life making it so; fatigue and hunger make you hard. My core muscles were hard. I felt it.
Yoga too.
But now, after sitting in the cold, at a desk, missing sunsets, I can feel my core soften. The inner strength is fading. I need to move – my body again.
I can feel my soul soften too. This needs attention.
I don’t sing songs anymore... :(
Everything is “happening”; good. I got a job interview Friday; good cash; good opportunity.
When I lived in BC, I felt my body; my food. I was aware of it; of its grandeur. It was fit; real; hard. It was hard from me wanting it to be and from my life making it so; fatigue and hunger make you hard. My core muscles were hard. I felt it.
Yoga too.
But now, after sitting in the cold, at a desk, missing sunsets, I can feel my core soften. The inner strength is fading. I need to move – my body again.
I can feel my soul soften too. This needs attention.
I don’t sing songs anymore... :(
posted by Solman @ 2/01/2006 11:13:00 PM
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Tweak
I’ve been tweaking the blog so much that I’m forgetting to actually make any substantial posts. I guess that’s a point in itself. What’s really substantial? It’s all good, no?
Added:
Show/Hide dealy in the sidebar
Blogorati Stuff
Top 10s
Search
Worked on:
VB to become C# Service that will convert ATOM feeds into Word and PDF docs. Nothing fancy, just helps with the resume.
Cleaned up my template.
Not sure why this is all so important to me. Just a feeling that I’ll need it soon or something like that.
Added:
Show/Hide dealy in the sidebar
Blogorati Stuff
Top 10s
Search
Worked on:
VB to become C# Service that will convert ATOM feeds into Word and PDF docs. Nothing fancy, just helps with the resume.
Cleaned up my template.
Not sure why this is all so important to me. Just a feeling that I’ll need it soon or something like that.
posted by Solman @ 2/01/2006 01:04:00 AM
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1/31/06
1/30/06
1/28/06
DJ
They were looking for DJ at a downtown cafe. They said they was "laptop" and "tech" friendly...
...I applied ;)
...I applied ;)
posted by Solman @ 1/28/2006 10:53:00 AM
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Dead End by Sam Roberts
Sam and co. are friends of mine. We grew up in same hood, etc...
Just wanted to say: this morning, I was mulling and brooding, and this song played off my playlist; I mull and brood no longer. Good to know je suis pas toujours seul…
...merci Sam.
Dead End by Sam Roberts
Oh what’s wrong with me
Said oh what’s wrong with me
I know what I don’t wanna be
A dead end on the family tree
And I just lost my virginity
To a girl who won’t remember me at all
Took her out on a shopping spree
Happiness never happened for free
Could it be that I imagined things
I’m just sad instead of heartbroken
She came home but she’s leaving again
She’s coming back but she won’t say when(chorus)
And I don’t sing songs anymore
I don’t feel young anymore
And it’s hard to conceal
That these tears that I cry are for real
Any more
My pop said I should be like him
My mom says I can live with them
I had to ask my little brother to lend
Me change for the bus ‘til I see him again
I’m getting drunk every day of the week
My ship sunk but it had no leak
A fortune teller on Bishop street
She read my hand and the future is bleak
I’m tired of sitting upon the fence
I’ve got no self confidence
Why don’t I have a circle of friends
I’m so square they don’t even pretend
Don’t give in
You can never let them win
But I get cold
I get cold
Every night, night, night,
Without a prayer in my heart, heart, heart
Oh what’s wrong with me
Said oh Lord what’s wrong with me
I know what I don’t wanna be
A dead end on the family tree
And the train for my salvation
Is departing from the station
She don’t feel like conversation
So I’m talking to myself
I got nobody else
I got my bottle of booze and my stale cigarettes
Down from the shelf
Just wanted to say: this morning, I was mulling and brooding, and this song played off my playlist; I mull and brood no longer. Good to know je suis pas toujours seul…
...merci Sam.
Dead End by Sam Roberts
Oh what’s wrong with me
Said oh what’s wrong with me
I know what I don’t wanna be
A dead end on the family tree
And I just lost my virginity
To a girl who won’t remember me at all
Took her out on a shopping spree
Happiness never happened for free
Could it be that I imagined things
I’m just sad instead of heartbroken
She came home but she’s leaving again
She’s coming back but she won’t say when(chorus)
And I don’t sing songs anymore
I don’t feel young anymore
And it’s hard to conceal
That these tears that I cry are for real
Any more
My pop said I should be like him
My mom says I can live with them
I had to ask my little brother to lend
Me change for the bus ‘til I see him again
I’m getting drunk every day of the week
My ship sunk but it had no leak
A fortune teller on Bishop street
She read my hand and the future is bleak
I’m tired of sitting upon the fence
I’ve got no self confidence
Why don’t I have a circle of friends
I’m so square they don’t even pretend
Don’t give in
You can never let them win
But I get cold
I get cold
Every night, night, night,
Without a prayer in my heart, heart, heart
Oh what’s wrong with me
Said oh Lord what’s wrong with me
I know what I don’t wanna be
A dead end on the family tree
And the train for my salvation
Is departing from the station
She don’t feel like conversation
So I’m talking to myself
I got nobody else
I got my bottle of booze and my stale cigarettes
Down from the shelf
posted by Solman @ 1/28/2006 10:07:00 AM
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1/26/06
1/25/06
DD-WRT and Network Bridging
I promised a friend I'd post this so:
What is a network bridge?
A network bridge is a bridge that will connect one network segment to another. In this context, I wanted to connect a Linksys router wirelessly to an existing secure wireless network. The example: one router is in the basement and the other two floors away. The reason I want to bridge these routers is because of a file server that resides one the top floor, but is not exposed to the rest of this domicile net.
Getting it done
First thing you need to do is get this awesome firmware upgrade. It's called DD-WRT. This firmware is WAY more configurable and powerful than the default Linksys offering. It offers a wide variety of wicked extra features including wireless signal boosts and a number of added transmit frequencies (i.e. the channel range extends for 1 -14 instead 1 - 11 which comes is really handy if your struggling with signal interference from other wireless devices like wireless phones). Be careful! Firmware upgrades are not for the faint of heart. Play it safe and download and test a working client based firmware upgrade for your Linksys router (i.e. client based means do not rely on the routers “Upgrade Firmware” and download an EXE that will PUSH the firmware on to your router rather than asking the router to PULL the upgrade in, as you might not be able to access the router HTML interface).
A useful tool that I use (especially with my note book when out on the digital town) is Network Stumbler. It uses your wireless card to scan for available wireless networks, determine whether they are secure, give you an idea about signal strength and consistency, the used channels and channel traffic, and more.
Next, read this wiki (I listed the steps below, but read the wiki!): WRT Wiki
Instructions:
What is a network bridge?
A network bridge is a bridge that will connect one network segment to another. In this context, I wanted to connect a Linksys router wirelessly to an existing secure wireless network. The example: one router is in the basement and the other two floors away. The reason I want to bridge these routers is because of a file server that resides one the top floor, but is not exposed to the rest of this domicile net.
Getting it done
First thing you need to do is get this awesome firmware upgrade. It's called DD-WRT. This firmware is WAY more configurable and powerful than the default Linksys offering. It offers a wide variety of wicked extra features including wireless signal boosts and a number of added transmit frequencies (i.e. the channel range extends for 1 -14 instead 1 - 11 which comes is really handy if your struggling with signal interference from other wireless devices like wireless phones). Be careful! Firmware upgrades are not for the faint of heart. Play it safe and download and test a working client based firmware upgrade for your Linksys router (i.e. client based means do not rely on the routers “Upgrade Firmware” and download an EXE that will PUSH the firmware on to your router rather than asking the router to PULL the upgrade in, as you might not be able to access the router HTML interface).
A useful tool that I use (especially with my note book when out on the digital town) is Network Stumbler. It uses your wireless card to scan for available wireless networks, determine whether they are secure, give you an idea about signal strength and consistency, the used channels and channel traffic, and more.
Next, read this wiki (I listed the steps below, but read the wiki!): WRT Wiki
Instructions:
1) Install the firmware and log in.
2) I change the router IP to something that won’t conflict with a) the other router IP (i.e. 192.168.1.1) and b) that is not in the range of the DHCP server (i.e. if 192.168.1.1 offers up an DHCP IP range 100 – 150, you could choose 192.168.1.151; just don’t forget ;)
If you want to leave it as 192.168.1.1, you could also set a static IP address of 192.168.1.x network to your client and you can reach the router as 192.168.1.1 by Ethernet.
3) Add WAN MAC-Address of WRT54G to your mac filter list on your base station.
4) Connect to your WRT54G (normally 192.168.1.1) by wire which should act as client bridge.
5) Enable Wireless Security (in Wireless/Wireless Security) as used (i.e. WEP and configure it as used in your local network (same key generator)).
6) In Wireless/Basic Settings choose "Client-Bridged" as Wireless Mode and set SSID, Wireless channel and Network Mode can be set to same values as your Base Station, normally Auto / Mixed.
That’s all. On next wired connect to your router you should get an IP address from your network.
posted by Solman @ 1/25/2006 02:33:00 PM
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I just can't believe...
it's 6 freakin' AM. Who's paying for this? FUCK!
thought i might get away without a Simpsons episode to lay my ass to sleep tonight, but i was wrong. gonna hafta look at this soon and switch back radiohead or something other than:
The Simpsons...
Paa pa pa pa paa pa pa pa papapa pa - pa.pa.pa.pa.pa! - papapa pa
tomorrow, radiohead.
thought i might get away without a Simpsons episode to lay my ass to sleep tonight, but i was wrong. gonna hafta look at this soon and switch back radiohead or something other than:
The Simpsons...
Paa pa pa pa paa pa pa pa papapa pa - pa.pa.pa.pa.pa! - papapa pa
tomorrow, radiohead.
posted by Solman @ 1/25/2006 05:42:00 AM
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confess
in all frankness, part of my getting fired was because of this song (i.e. extra 1/2 hour singing it b4 sleeping - gotta do what you gotta do):
Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
posted by Solman @ 1/25/2006 04:57:00 AM
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1/24/06
ramman
i can't believe i have a gig of ram and once again am struggling to do get things done.
posted by Solman @ 1/24/2006 08:01:00 PM
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1/21/06
no more pics :(
i ain't got no more pics to upload. flickr tells me i'm @ 97% of my 2 gig limit. it took three years to take them all, but i alomost made it.
having some sort of breakdown. later.
having some sort of breakdown. later.
posted by Solman @ 1/21/2006 12:48:00 AM
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City of Glass
screw u coupland! kidding. to much bullshit on the inside cover ;)
posted by Solman @ 1/21/2006 12:27:00 AM
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Just yum... yum yum.
yum yum yum. those calis in the background are made with REAL crab; changes everything.
posted by Solman @ 1/21/2006 12:19:00 AM
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Where does the beauty come from?
I can't figure it out. Hate cigs; love this pic. Gorgeous.
posted by Solman @ 1/21/2006 12:16:00 AM
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1/20/06
1 2 3
there's nothing like knowing how to drive. the skillset bleeds into everything; rollerbaldes; walking; flying; cooking; coding - the best.
The 1 2 3 right off the start and right through the Senna. I love the Senna.
The 1 2 3 right off the start and right through the Senna. I love the Senna.
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 11:19:00 PM
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Jersey bridges
had to jump off my bike on the nice wide shoulder to take this shot. good thing about a bike - lotsa parking; down-side - gloves, helmet, keys, lock, dig, camera, pick glove up off the ground, pick camera case up off the ground, turn on camera, snap snap, pick up camera case off the ground, dust, put camera in case, stuff, lock, pick glove up off the ground, grab keys, helmet, gloves, stand, go. could take 15mins if yr slacking.
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 10:54:00 PM
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Sunbow
this was awesome. i wasn't sure that the camera would get it right, but it did. sooooo cool.
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 10:48:00 PM
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Skydiving Vermont
Ok. Here's a link to my jump. It's 100meg and 6 min, but wicked.
I have a download limit with this service provider, so only grab it if you really want to watch it, else, I've included some snaps:
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 07:39:00 PM
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The Templeton
this diner and i were best friends.
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 07:12:00 PM
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Variable Stars in Distant Spiral Galaxy
gotta love that hubble.
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 07:01:00 PM
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Eagle Nebula HUBBLE
Someone added this as one of his Flickr favorites. I love the stuff. If I ever did want to spend money entirely self-fully; outer space and drive an F1.
Hubble:Eagle Nebula
Hubble:Eagle Nebula
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 04:13:00 PM
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Passport and a pawn shop
Right...
Arizona.
Good times.
Not bad for a passport and pawn shop, huh? (kidding - sort of ;)
Arizona.
Good times.
Not bad for a passport and pawn shop, huh? (kidding - sort of ;)
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 04:01:00 PM
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my baby
this is on the same list as my iPod, camera, and motorcycle as the smartest money i've ever spent.
Let's add my first Apple computer, Dunhams, IBM T Series Thinkpads, BBS mags, the car it went on, racing lessons, MOTORCYCLE LESSONS, skydiving, maybe 15% of those "I can't believe we spent/did that" nights out, and every travel no matter where, what, why, how, or when!!!!
Let's add my first Apple computer, Dunhams, IBM T Series Thinkpads, BBS mags, the car it went on, racing lessons, MOTORCYCLE LESSONS, skydiving, maybe 15% of those "I can't believe we spent/did that" nights out, and every travel no matter where, what, why, how, or when!!!!
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 01:44:00 PM
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Mashmmooooollooos
I feel like a marshmallow...
I’ve dump so much data out of my head, off my hard drives, etc.
Add all the reading and music and you gots yerself... s’more nothin’
I feel like a marshmallow.
I also feel like saying that this tabbed Firefox browser is going to be the death me.
I’ve dump so much data out of my head, off my hard drives, etc.
Add all the reading and music and you gots yerself... s’more nothin’
I feel like a marshmallow.
I also feel like saying that this tabbed Firefox browser is going to be the death me.
posted by Solman @ 1/20/2006 02:56:00 AM
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1/19/06
1/18/06
baby's got boot
very very cool. double yum.
posted by Solman @ 1/18/2006 06:54:00 PM
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1/17/06
Paige
This one is another fav. i think i'm getting obsessed with the flickr thing.
posted by Solman @ 1/17/2006 10:58:00 PM
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1/16/06
Kelowna, BC July 1st 2004
i mean... really. trying to ride a motorcycle here...
wow.
wow.
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 10:21:00 PM
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Kelowna, BC July 1st 2004
i love this. big warm wind that day. awesome.
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 10:18:00 PM
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Clean the room 2
Part 2 of clean the room
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 04:30:00 PM
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Clean the room 1
two parter on why "my room" might be harder to clean than most...
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 04:28:00 PM
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Go Fro!
Growing my hair out can be painfully... funny. This shot is pre-shower. I take another to show how fly and fro can look (tho it won' treally be fro later - maybe it's not really a fro now...)
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 04:22:00 PM
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umbrela.com
So it's happened.
For the last 5 years I've enjoyed my very own static IP and used it to host all my ftp, mail, and web.
I went Daddy and I feel like a civilian.
I present the new and improved .NET 2.0 platform that is once again:
I realize there's nothing there, but I need some time ;)
Basically, it'll host files and web services, so don't get too excited (blush).
For the last 5 years I've enjoyed my very own static IP and used it to host all my ftp, mail, and web.
I went Daddy and I feel like a civilian.
I present the new and improved .NET 2.0 platform that is once again:
www.umbrela.com
I realize there's nothing there, but I need some time ;)
Basically, it'll host files and web services, so don't get too excited (blush).
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 02:54:00 PM
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Metric
"When there's no way out, the only way out is to (give)in."
- Emily Haines
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 02:41:00 PM
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Qualicum Falls
wow. just wow. this one is a prize to me. i just love it. qualicum is on vancouver island west of nanimo.
wow.
wow.
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 01:39:00 AM
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mad!
did mad work on my resume deal (comments welcomed and i moderate them so do be shy) and my new Pro Flickr account.
goodnight!
goodnight!
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 01:29:00 AM
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Whistler Creek
i love this pic. got it while quading whistler/blackcomb back country.
i miss bc...
:/
i miss bc...
:/
posted by Solman @ 1/16/2006 01:25:00 AM
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1/13/06
St-Lazare
recorded a vocal yesterday.
headin' back today.
st-lazare, quebec
headin' back today.
st-lazare, quebec
posted by Solman @ 1/13/2006 05:31:00 PM
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1/12/06
Yin Yang-isms
Empathy and Assertivness
above
Sympathy and Aggression
above
Sympathy and Aggression
posted by Solman @ 1/12/2006 12:40:00 PM
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1/11/06
I can be so fucking dramatic
lol. oh well, guess it comes with the turf.
I washed my hands. Got the icky and the sticky off, but not that awesome tangerine perfume. Obvioulsly, things don't always have to be in terms of absolutes (blush).
no more being an idiot :/
I washed my hands. Got the icky and the sticky off, but not that awesome tangerine perfume. Obvioulsly, things don't always have to be in terms of absolutes (blush).
no more being an idiot :/
posted by Solman @ 1/11/2006 04:56:00 PM
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My fiery heart…
My fiery heart…
… is like a powerful car. It can sometimes be hard to handle, especially in the snow or rain ;)
Gonna learn to drive better and keep the car.
… is like a powerful car. It can sometimes be hard to handle, especially in the snow or rain ;)
Gonna learn to drive better and keep the car.
posted by Solman @ 1/11/2006 12:43:00 PM
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KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!
about time.
the list:
One - U2
Come Together - The Beatles
Instant Karma - John Lennon
Creep - Radiohead
Life by the Drop - SRV
the list:
One - U2
Come Together - The Beatles
Instant Karma - John Lennon
Creep - Radiohead
Life by the Drop - SRV
posted by Solman @ 1/11/2006 02:06:00 AM
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1/10/06
Wash my hands
I peeled a tangerine; made my hand smell… awesome.
Sometimes, even if the perceived undesirable... smells like tangerines… we still are apt to wash our hands and remove the unnatural; the uninvited; the consequential.
I am washing my hands.
Am I am not… ;)
Sometimes, even if the perceived undesirable... smells like tangerines… we still are apt to wash our hands and remove the unnatural; the uninvited; the consequential.
I am washing my hands.
Am I am not… ;)
posted by Solman @ 1/10/2006 12:47:00 PM
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my resume, my cv, my life - with hyperlinks.
posted by Solman @ 1/10/2006 01:25:00 AM
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1/9/06
Some days
Some days I miss her, other days I resent her.
All days I think of her; the idea of her; the image of her; the want of her.
Fuck. I am a freakin’ mush ball, maybe even pushover. Forgiving and forgetting, seeing the positive above all else, wanting to be there for everyone – compromising - or maybe I’m just wanting IT above all else.
All days I think of her; the idea of her; the image of her; the want of her.
Fuck. I am a freakin’ mush ball, maybe even pushover. Forgiving and forgetting, seeing the positive above all else, wanting to be there for everyone – compromising - or maybe I’m just wanting IT above all else.
You take me as I am, girl I'm a take you as you are
Even though my fam don't understand
My people on the block, they don't understand, no, no
Why I put that rock up on your hand
Cause I take you as you are, you're a star - Wyclef
posted by Solman @ 1/09/2006 12:37:00 PM
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1/8/06
Alas
Alas, the time has come. This is going to be a reminiscent of my “I think I can do it” in Portland spill – gotta try and not get distracted. This’ll take a couple of hours.
Current State of Affaires
I am back from BC, unsure as to whether for good or not, and am working in a warehouse doing some basic “meditative” assembly and a little floor management. I am actively looking for more/other work. Today, I am in pain. My back hurts. Why - a game of darts in an Irish pub the morning after the Night of the Dirty Belvedere Martinis. The bartender had already passed me an Advil Gel Cap for migraines. Toss a dart, then another, and at some point – crick.
I was hit by a car in spring.
I was jay-crossing Burrard on foot when I got smoked and follow that up with these pictures. My bones are cricking and cracking again. Sitting here hurts a little.
The catalyst to this… essay… was an email from a friend. It read:
On a drive into downtown Montreal two days ago, I mentioned to a friend that I might have to create a “How to read this blog?” post.
Ouch. Five minutes in Child Pose.
So, in light of this email, I am urged to explain the following:
Reading my blog
So it all started
So it all really started with that accident. My life changed; then again; then again…
I lost interest in the IT field; it lost interest with me. To be frank, it hurt to code, much like it hurts to sit here right now :/ Sitting at a desk all day was not on my list of things to do. I needed work.
Enter Mr. Freak
Mr. Freak was my friend. We hung out all the time. We talked about a lot of things, including his being gay – which he was not particularly outward about. He’s been through some shit in his life. So have I. So have we all. We worked together at my first west coast IT job. Then he left to manage a local gay bar; let’s call it Letters, where change is inevitable.
Mr. Freak and I were hanging out, eating dinner, and possibly getting shit done. Our relationship grew into one of mutual tolerance. There were things he didn’t “agree with” in terms of my perspective and I with his. Seeing eye-to-eye with people is not always a priority for me. If he likes Dr. Phil… he likes Dr. Phil. No skin off my back.
He called me one day in spring of 2005.
"Can you work the door?"
At a gay bar? Hmm… need cash; don’t have any problem with it…
"Sure."
I worked the door. I considered my dedication outside the average, but only because he was my friend; loyalty. It even happened that I had to get involved while off duty and rather SAUCED. Never a big deal, but the idea always bothered me… implied liabilities and such.
Hm. Let me take a second to describe this situation. When I met Mr. Freak back in 2004, N O B O D Y where we worked really liked him (estimate 10 – 15 employees). He was a sort of black sheep. I like black sheep. I’ve been one. I never assume the worst, but the more likely scenario that people are sometimes a little strange or awkward. Anyhow, long story short, we became “best buds”. Maybe I should have heeded the warnings.
So at some point I got promoted to barman. I earned my wings. I had a following and a crew. I loved them all. Working in a gay bar implies a certain intimacy. That’s all I’ll say about it.
Shortly thereafter, I became best friends with fellow employs Mr. Donis and Mr. King of Queens (as well as a slew of others, but not now). We got along famously. People thought we might be all have been related (as I was openly not gay - the more common conclusions would be quickly discounted ;)
Stretch. Ouchouch.
Confrontations with Mr. Freak
Mr. King of Queens “quit”. Mr. Donis got fired. I loved them both, but the Donis was… my brutha frum anutha mutha. I couldn’t do anything for the King, but did for the Donis. He got his job back after I took a bar census, got ideas together, moderated the common position, and then approached Mr. Freak. Then a 3 hour “debate” - bartender to bar manager - over some drinks. He ended the conversation with “Thanks. Glad we could work that out. You’re fired - just kidding”. Asshole.
A month later, I was fired; October 1st 2005. During my meeting with Mr. Freak, I had mentioned a concern for scheduling and that there were some basic and consistent complaints coming from the staff… ok…
About the Staff
I arrived in Van with one friend out there. We lived together. Good times. It stayed about the same for the better part of a year with the exception of one other friend Mr. Freak and his entourage (word! good guys and gals!) and of course a RIGID SHOUT OUT to Agent R MontalBOND 0069!
I lived in a suburb and getting around was a little tiring. I was working for the biggest entertainment conglomerate in the city, but connected to very few people. No comment on why; it just was. I was lonely for a real tight connection. Mr. Freak was fun and I liked him, but he wasn’t really the best buddy type. From what I could tell, he cycled through friends quite often – ahem.
The staff became like a family to me. I knew them all. They all came to my house after shifts (and so did the occasional clients). They all loved me and I loved them. Hmm… maybe he didn’t like that? Not sure. Other managers would talk to me about him. Other employees would talk to me about him. I stood up for him, often trying to help everyone understand that he is new and learning and needs our support, understanding, and help to overcome the hurdles that lay… blah… I used to manage and have worked with managers far greater and far worse - just saying my experience slightly exceeds bartending in a small bar ;)
Getting Fired
Fuck was I pissed. I had started telling you that we had discussed something at the meeting. It was about scheduling and human resource management. A few obvious thieves and slackers got in because Mr. Freak didn’t want to listen to consensus – we got robbed and slacked.
I was often late, but for the day shifts. The day shifts were dead. The day shifts followed night shifts. The day shifts involved setting up the bar for the coming more prosperous night shift - thusly gruntish and not very lucrative work. I’d done tons of them. I’d done tons of them after closing the bar the night before. I was new; a grunt; my pleasure. But I wasn’t new anymore; I was a contender. LOL. I asked to be taken off the day shifts forever, such that, I am no longer available for day shifts, thank you. He eventually replied:
“I am your manager. What are you trying to do; manage me? I decide when you are available. It’s not that you can’t work; it’s that you don’t want to!”
I got $8/hr with no guaranteed shifts or hours; average tips for a 7 hour day shift: $15. Most of us managed 2 – 4 shifts and it might have knowingly been our only job. If you wanted the good shifts, you had to be available ALL the time as scheduling and training and hiring were questionable. I could usually take the hit financially, but was becoming exhausted by the next-day-double. nuff said.
I went to Saskatoon for 4 days to train for a FoxPro project; it was like flying to Japan because they made me wake up at 7:00am, my usual bed time. I got back - exhausted - on a Thursday night; fired on the following Saturday evening for being late for a day shift. I only saw the schedule at the end of my Friday shift which ended at 8:00am Saturday morning; doorman got a golf club to the head – he came over to my place with the usual suspects; bed by 8am; nuff said.
Witnesses: 7.
October 1st 2005
Fired. Then, shortly after, asked to cover a DAY SHIFT for the next day Sunday (leaving papers are in hand) because NOBODY EVER WANTS TO DO THEM. I said yes, but because Mr. Kojak said “Do it for me.” (Mr. Kojak was another friend who didn’t quite like some Freakish tendencies). I ended up spending the day getting… shooting shit with one of my first and favorite clients. We then went for sushi. After that shift, I went up to Mr. Freak and asked if we could work it out.
“No.”
“Can we get an arbitrator?”
“No. It’s over. Forget it.”
“But these people are my family now.”
“Look. You can do what you want. Contact the board; file your complaint.”
“Mr. Freak, please, don’t ask me to solve this outside of our friendship or this bar. It won’t be pretty for either of us.”
“What does that mean?”
“I dunno. It means what it means.”
He ended up barring me for 3 months because he thought I threatened him… until January 1st 2006.
It bothered me for 2 weeks. Everyone was sad.
I didn’t talk to him again, not until the week I left BC, and that was only say… a la prochaine.
The three of us who got fired started hooking up. We called ourselves:
Sorry Mr Freak. Wish we coulda made it.
Getting fired, in its own way, was awesome. The party moved to my house. That family came home.
And for this first time in two years, I fell in love with Vancouver*.
XO.
Done.
* I love BC, ABSOLUTLEY GORGEOUS, but the Vanurban was… harder to get to know.
Enter the Landlord / Enter Miss. Eye
While is Saskatoon, I hooked up with a friend of a friend from Van. Saskatoon, oddly enough, doesn’t need a tour guide, but it sort of does… you know? Anyways, I needed one.
Enter Miss. Eye. She was a bomb, no, really, KA POW KA BANG! She was on her way to Van the next day. We met in Van. She managed insulting, hurting, breaking, messing, botching, wrinkling, wronging everything she freakin’, touched, looked at, or thought of. She got a letter, but not from me. I read it to make sure it, um, qualified; had to look some things up ;) She lasted 10 days and I had to apologize to a friend because she lit a joint at one of his tables, in one of his restaurants, screaming “It’s fuckin’ BC. Loosen up”. Bye bye.
Enter the landlord…
Fuck. Server is down; fan died… need hosting… so, in the meantime, copy/paste:
Dear fellow residents of 1133 Beach Ave., Vancouver, BC… blah… I’ll make the link later…
HAHA! Made it now! Dear Fellow Residents
Anyhow, got evicted; got mad; wrote letter; got in again; left anyway, but only on December 1st.
The Saskatoon FoxPro deal had to keep on keepin’ on, but it didn’t; because of me; because of them. Bad match. Bad vibes. Bad end. C’est la vie, mais dommage because it was a work-from-home project management position in the domain of POS systems. Good times???
Enter the Dragon
I was BROKE. Saskatoon gave me $1500 which would’ve made me relax for a second (especially because my last two shifts were day shifts ;), but the bank took it right out of my hand. Man, horse to water or water to horse or whatever just trying to say… thirsty fuckin’ horse!
Broke. Why is this so perplexing? My initial eviction, the firing, the bar barring, the bar family, the Saskatoon, the Miss. Eye, the nothing going on was enough to help me consider that maybe I should go see the family back in Montreal. I called. We talked. I decided.
No jobs for an transexpatriplant with 30 days to burn.
October 15th 2005
Still typing… Kerouac was on cra… oh yeah. Well, not me. And I rewrote some of the pervious stuff. 11:00pm et bon soir (to this anyway).
Current State of Affaires
I am back from BC, unsure as to whether for good or not, and am working in a warehouse doing some basic “meditative” assembly and a little floor management. I am actively looking for more/other work. Today, I am in pain. My back hurts. Why - a game of darts in an Irish pub the morning after the Night of the Dirty Belvedere Martinis. The bartender had already passed me an Advil Gel Cap for migraines. Toss a dart, then another, and at some point – crick.
I was hit by a car in spring.
I was jay-crossing Burrard on foot when I got smoked and follow that up with these pictures. My bones are cricking and cracking again. Sitting here hurts a little.
The catalyst to this… essay… was an email from a friend. It read:
I've been reading your blog lately, man, and I've got to say I'm getting concerned. Are you OK? I'm not talking about the living situation or the lack of job situation… I'm talking about YOU.
I know it may seem empty, seeing that there's likely little I can do to truly help, but if you want to get together and shoot the shit, or if you need a sounding board, let me know.
On a drive into downtown Montreal two days ago, I mentioned to a friend that I might have to create a “How to read this blog?” post.
Ouch. Five minutes in Child Pose.
So, in light of this email, I am urged to explain the following:
Reading my blog
Each posting in my blog in like a painting or a song or a meal to me – born of whatever unique colors, sounds, or ingredients that any day or moment might provide. It does not intend to share any beliefs or otherwise. I sometimes write sad songs when I’m happy; draw faces I’ve never seen; cook cold soups in the winter.
I’d read it like I might eat a meal; concerned for the quality, freshness, and wholeness of the meal and less for any attention to classical ideal or detail; historical standard; status quo.
This blog just is… my idea of art – not a confession (okay, maybe sometimes ;)
So it all started
So it all really started with that accident. My life changed; then again; then again…
I lost interest in the IT field; it lost interest with me. To be frank, it hurt to code, much like it hurts to sit here right now :/ Sitting at a desk all day was not on my list of things to do. I needed work.
Enter Mr. Freak
Mr. Freak was my friend. We hung out all the time. We talked about a lot of things, including his being gay – which he was not particularly outward about. He’s been through some shit in his life. So have I. So have we all. We worked together at my first west coast IT job. Then he left to manage a local gay bar; let’s call it Letters, where change is inevitable.
Mr. Freak and I were hanging out, eating dinner, and possibly getting shit done. Our relationship grew into one of mutual tolerance. There were things he didn’t “agree with” in terms of my perspective and I with his. Seeing eye-to-eye with people is not always a priority for me. If he likes Dr. Phil… he likes Dr. Phil. No skin off my back.
He called me one day in spring of 2005.
"Can you work the door?"
At a gay bar? Hmm… need cash; don’t have any problem with it…
"Sure."
I worked the door. I considered my dedication outside the average, but only because he was my friend; loyalty. It even happened that I had to get involved while off duty and rather SAUCED. Never a big deal, but the idea always bothered me… implied liabilities and such.
Hm. Let me take a second to describe this situation. When I met Mr. Freak back in 2004, N O B O D Y where we worked really liked him (estimate 10 – 15 employees). He was a sort of black sheep. I like black sheep. I’ve been one. I never assume the worst, but the more likely scenario that people are sometimes a little strange or awkward. Anyhow, long story short, we became “best buds”. Maybe I should have heeded the warnings.
So at some point I got promoted to barman. I earned my wings. I had a following and a crew. I loved them all. Working in a gay bar implies a certain intimacy. That’s all I’ll say about it.
Shortly thereafter, I became best friends with fellow employs Mr. Donis and Mr. King of Queens (as well as a slew of others, but not now). We got along famously. People thought we might be all have been related (as I was openly not gay - the more common conclusions would be quickly discounted ;)
Stretch. Ouchouch.
Confrontations with Mr. Freak
Mr. King of Queens “quit”. Mr. Donis got fired. I loved them both, but the Donis was… my brutha frum anutha mutha. I couldn’t do anything for the King, but did for the Donis. He got his job back after I took a bar census, got ideas together, moderated the common position, and then approached Mr. Freak. Then a 3 hour “debate” - bartender to bar manager - over some drinks. He ended the conversation with “Thanks. Glad we could work that out. You’re fired - just kidding”. Asshole.
A month later, I was fired; October 1st 2005. During my meeting with Mr. Freak, I had mentioned a concern for scheduling and that there were some basic and consistent complaints coming from the staff… ok…
About the Staff
I arrived in Van with one friend out there. We lived together. Good times. It stayed about the same for the better part of a year with the exception of one other friend Mr. Freak and his entourage (word! good guys and gals!) and of course a RIGID SHOUT OUT to Agent R MontalBOND 0069!
I lived in a suburb and getting around was a little tiring. I was working for the biggest entertainment conglomerate in the city, but connected to very few people. No comment on why; it just was. I was lonely for a real tight connection. Mr. Freak was fun and I liked him, but he wasn’t really the best buddy type. From what I could tell, he cycled through friends quite often – ahem.
The staff became like a family to me. I knew them all. They all came to my house after shifts (and so did the occasional clients). They all loved me and I loved them. Hmm… maybe he didn’t like that? Not sure. Other managers would talk to me about him. Other employees would talk to me about him. I stood up for him, often trying to help everyone understand that he is new and learning and needs our support, understanding, and help to overcome the hurdles that lay… blah… I used to manage and have worked with managers far greater and far worse - just saying my experience slightly exceeds bartending in a small bar ;)
Getting Fired
Fuck was I pissed. I had started telling you that we had discussed something at the meeting. It was about scheduling and human resource management. A few obvious thieves and slackers got in because Mr. Freak didn’t want to listen to consensus – we got robbed and slacked.
I was often late, but for the day shifts. The day shifts were dead. The day shifts followed night shifts. The day shifts involved setting up the bar for the coming more prosperous night shift - thusly gruntish and not very lucrative work. I’d done tons of them. I’d done tons of them after closing the bar the night before. I was new; a grunt; my pleasure. But I wasn’t new anymore; I was a contender. LOL. I asked to be taken off the day shifts forever, such that, I am no longer available for day shifts, thank you. He eventually replied:
“I am your manager. What are you trying to do; manage me? I decide when you are available. It’s not that you can’t work; it’s that you don’t want to!”
I got $8/hr with no guaranteed shifts or hours; average tips for a 7 hour day shift: $15. Most of us managed 2 – 4 shifts and it might have knowingly been our only job. If you wanted the good shifts, you had to be available ALL the time as scheduling and training and hiring were questionable. I could usually take the hit financially, but was becoming exhausted by the next-day-double. nuff said.
I went to Saskatoon for 4 days to train for a FoxPro project; it was like flying to Japan because they made me wake up at 7:00am, my usual bed time. I got back - exhausted - on a Thursday night; fired on the following Saturday evening for being late for a day shift. I only saw the schedule at the end of my Friday shift which ended at 8:00am Saturday morning; doorman got a golf club to the head – he came over to my place with the usual suspects; bed by 8am; nuff said.
Witnesses: 7.
October 1st 2005
Fired. Then, shortly after, asked to cover a DAY SHIFT for the next day Sunday (leaving papers are in hand) because NOBODY EVER WANTS TO DO THEM. I said yes, but because Mr. Kojak said “Do it for me.” (Mr. Kojak was another friend who didn’t quite like some Freakish tendencies). I ended up spending the day getting… shooting shit with one of my first and favorite clients. We then went for sushi. After that shift, I went up to Mr. Freak and asked if we could work it out.
“No.”
“Can we get an arbitrator?”
“No. It’s over. Forget it.”
“But these people are my family now.”
“Look. You can do what you want. Contact the board; file your complaint.”
“Mr. Freak, please, don’t ask me to solve this outside of our friendship or this bar. It won’t be pretty for either of us.”
“What does that mean?”
“I dunno. It means what it means.”
He ended up barring me for 3 months because he thought I threatened him… until January 1st 2006.
It bothered me for 2 weeks. Everyone was sad.
I didn’t talk to him again, not until the week I left BC, and that was only say… a la prochaine.
The three of us who got fired started hooking up. We called ourselves:
“The Letters Birthday Boys”
Have you had yours?
Change is good.
Sorry Mr Freak. Wish we coulda made it.
Getting fired, in its own way, was awesome. The party moved to my house. That family came home.
And for this first time in two years, I fell in love with Vancouver*.
XO.
Done.
* I love BC, ABSOLUTLEY GORGEOUS, but the Vanurban was… harder to get to know.
Enter the Landlord / Enter Miss. Eye
While is Saskatoon, I hooked up with a friend of a friend from Van. Saskatoon, oddly enough, doesn’t need a tour guide, but it sort of does… you know? Anyways, I needed one.
Enter Miss. Eye. She was a bomb, no, really, KA POW KA BANG! She was on her way to Van the next day. We met in Van. She managed insulting, hurting, breaking, messing, botching, wrinkling, wronging everything she freakin’, touched, looked at, or thought of. She got a letter, but not from me. I read it to make sure it, um, qualified; had to look some things up ;) She lasted 10 days and I had to apologize to a friend because she lit a joint at one of his tables, in one of his restaurants, screaming “It’s fuckin’ BC. Loosen up”. Bye bye.
Enter the landlord…
Fuck. Server is down; fan died… need hosting… so, in the meantime, copy/paste:
Dear fellow residents of 1133 Beach Ave., Vancouver, BC… blah… I’ll make the link later…
HAHA! Made it now! Dear Fellow Residents
Anyhow, got evicted; got mad; wrote letter; got in again; left anyway, but only on December 1st.
The Saskatoon FoxPro deal had to keep on keepin’ on, but it didn’t; because of me; because of them. Bad match. Bad vibes. Bad end. C’est la vie, mais dommage because it was a work-from-home project management position in the domain of POS systems. Good times???
Enter the Dragon
I was BROKE. Saskatoon gave me $1500 which would’ve made me relax for a second (especially because my last two shifts were day shifts ;), but the bank took it right out of my hand. Man, horse to water or water to horse or whatever just trying to say… thirsty fuckin’ horse!
Broke. Why is this so perplexing? My initial eviction, the firing, the bar barring, the bar family, the Saskatoon, the Miss. Eye, the nothing going on was enough to help me consider that maybe I should go see the family back in Montreal. I called. We talked. I decided.
No jobs for an transexpatriplant with 30 days to burn.
October 15th 2005
Still typing… Kerouac was on cra… oh yeah. Well, not me. And I rewrote some of the pervious stuff. 11:00pm et bon soir (to this anyway).
posted by Solman @ 1/08/2006 06:04:00 PM
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Reading my blog
Each posting in my blog is like a painting or a song or a meal to me; artistic expression; born of whatever unique colors, sounds, or ingredients that any day or moment might provide. It does not intend to share any beliefs or otherwise. I sometimes write sad songs when I’m happy; draw faces I’ve never seen; cook cold soups in the winter.
I’d read it like I might eat a meal; concerned for the quality, freshness, and wholeness of the meal and less for any attention to classical ideal or detail; historical standard; status quo.
This blog just is… my idea of art... an ex.peri.mental.remix
– not a confession (okay, maybe sometimes ;)
I’d read it like I might eat a meal; concerned for the quality, freshness, and wholeness of the meal and less for any attention to classical ideal or detail; historical standard; status quo.
This blog just is… my idea of art... an ex.peri.mental.remix
– not a confession (okay, maybe sometimes ;)
posted by Solman @ 1/08/2006 12:58:00 PM
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1/7/06
Abridged romanticism
Estimates in direction and commons of lovers
romantic prowess misinterpreted
Obviously…
I woke up to recollections of her nape softly, warmly pressed against my lips; sein dans ma paume; breathing her in; tasting her again; such tender moments; such jagged longings.
let go...
let go..
let go.
let's go forward
I miss your smile.
Nostalgic over a haircut. Hilarious.
Push/pull romanticism
Am/not romantic
Rom (gyspy) antics (frolics)
that was fun.
romantic prowess misinterpreted
Obviously…
I woke up to recollections of her nape softly, warmly pressed against my lips; sein dans ma paume; breathing her in; tasting her again; such tender moments; such jagged longings.
let go...
let go..
let go.
let's go forward
I miss your smile.
Nostalgic over a haircut. Hilarious.
Push/pull romanticism
Am/not romantic
Rom (gyspy) antics (frolics)
that was fun.
posted by Solman @ 1/07/2006 10:05:00 AM
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This Mess We're In by T. Yorke and PJ Harvey
I love this tune:
( Thom Yorke )
Can you hear them
The helicopters
I'm in New York
No need for words now
We sit in silence
You look me
In the eye directly
You met me
I think it's Wednesday
The evening
The mess we're in
And ooooh...
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( Thom Yorke )
Night and day
I dream of
Making love
To you now baby
Love making
On screen
Impossible dream
And I have seen
The sunrise over the river
The freeway
Reminding of
This mess we're in
And ooooh...
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( PJ talking / Thom singing...together )
What were you wanting / What was that you wanted
I just wanna say
Don't ever change now baby
I'd thank you
I don't think we will meet again
And you must leave now
Before the sun rises
Over the skyscrapers
And the city landscape comes into view
Sweat on my skin
Oh
This mess we're in
Ooooh...
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( Thom Yorke )
Can you hear them
The helicopters
I'm in New York
No need for words now
We sit in silence
You look me
In the eye directly
You met me
I think it's Wednesday
The evening
The mess we're in
And ooooh...
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( Thom Yorke )
Night and day
I dream of
Making love
To you now baby
Love making
On screen
Impossible dream
And I have seen
The sunrise over the river
The freeway
Reminding of
This mess we're in
And ooooh...
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
( PJ talking / Thom singing...together )
What were you wanting / What was that you wanted
I just wanna say
Don't ever change now baby
I'd thank you
I don't think we will meet again
And you must leave now
Before the sun rises
Over the skyscrapers
And the city landscape comes into view
Sweat on my skin
Oh
This mess we're in
Ooooh...
( PJ Harvey )
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
The city sunset over me
posted by Solman @ 1/07/2006 09:48:00 AM
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Thoughts of her
Thoughts of her run through my mind like a poisoned perfume,
Parts of me feel like I know,
Others like the fool.
Retrospect like a ruler to my knuckles,
Retrospect like a lesson from a mother,
Overkill.
Coka cola by the king can,
Yields a diluted man,
Overkill.
Blurred lines of love and lust,
Blurring the betweens of could and must,
Blurring all my truths.
Have I been schooled or scarred,
Is it now messed and marred,
How is it to be for us?
Over frank,
Over zealous,
Overkill.
Taking for granted that others are,
Like me,
Like you.
Like you, we all want it
Squeezing it delicately hard,
The fragile part of a once broken heart.
Was it just ill-prepared?
Was it just over cared?
Was the sacred broken?
Tear me away for wanting,
Breaking bonds of desire,
Quelling a burning fire.
Like the eye of my storm.
Overkill can kill us all.
Parts of me feel like I know,
Others like the fool.
Retrospect like a ruler to my knuckles,
Retrospect like a lesson from a mother,
Overkill.
Coka cola by the king can,
Yields a diluted man,
Overkill.
Blurred lines of love and lust,
Blurring the betweens of could and must,
Blurring all my truths.
Have I been schooled or scarred,
Is it now messed and marred,
How is it to be for us?
Over frank,
Over zealous,
Overkill.
Taking for granted that others are,
Like me,
Like you.
Like you, we all want it
Squeezing it delicately hard,
The fragile part of a once broken heart.
Was it just ill-prepared?
Was it just over cared?
Was the sacred broken?
Tear me away for wanting,
Breaking bonds of desire,
Quelling a burning fire.
Like the eye of my storm.
Overkill can kill us all.
posted by Solman @ 1/07/2006 09:28:00 AM
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1/5/06
Newwig
I am going through another wig out (i.e. December in it its entirety). I hate quitting. I wanna hide. Gonna hit the hay (@ freakin' 8:30). I'll throw a flick on… looks like it’ll be Kadosh.
posted by Solman @ 1/05/2006 08:18:00 PM
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One day it will be the best...
Nobody Does It Better by Carly Simon (but covered by Radiohead)
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby you're the best.
I wasn't lookin'
But somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above me
The spy who loved me
Is keepin' all my secrets safe tonight
And nobody does it better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody does it quite the way you do
Why'd you have to be so good.
The way that you hold me
Whenever you hold me
There's some kind of magic inside you
That keeps me from runnin'
But just keep it comin'
How'd you learn to do the things you do
And nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby
Baby
Darlin' you're the best
Baby you're the best
Baby you're the best
Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby you're the best.
I wasn't lookin'
But somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love light
But like heaven above me
The spy who loved me
Is keepin' all my secrets safe tonight
And nobody does it better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody does it quite the way you do
Why'd you have to be so good.
The way that you hold me
Whenever you hold me
There's some kind of magic inside you
That keeps me from runnin'
But just keep it comin'
How'd you learn to do the things you do
And nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby
Baby
Darlin' you're the best
Baby you're the best
Baby you're the best
posted by Solman @ 1/05/2006 08:03:00 PM
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I feel like…
…I’ve been in the middle; forever. It’s just starting to get tiring. Not in middle of others, but in the middle of myself, somewhere left and right of where I am, who I want to be, and who I am.
So be it. Not complaining. The perspective is enticing; a sort of hindsight and foresight; it does becomes exhausting. There are so many things I love that I need to get rid of because they are consuming me; needlessly. What lines are drawn between love and compromise?
So be it. Not complaining. The perspective is enticing; a sort of hindsight and foresight; it does becomes exhausting. There are so many things I love that I need to get rid of because they are consuming me; needlessly. What lines are drawn between love and compromise?
posted by Solman @ 1/05/2006 01:57:00 AM
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1/4/06
I don’t over think…
…nearly as much as I share, talk, trust, expose…
…and assume a common semantic.
I need a little less intro-sensitivity, a little more extro-sensitivity, and tons more COMMON sensitivity to solve this reoccurring problem of being…
…overwhelmed and overwhelming.
…and assume a common semantic.
I need a little less intro-sensitivity, a little more extro-sensitivity, and tons more COMMON sensitivity to solve this reoccurring problem of being…
…overwhelmed and overwhelming.
posted by Solman @ 1/04/2006 09:06:00 PM
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OPP
Other Peoples Potential has given me some insight into my own potential. I am reading other peoples blogs and having conversations and trying to find a reflection of myself so that maybe I’ll have a better idea of what I might look like; to myself and others.
I can sometimes make out reflections or confirmations of parts of me that I knew were there, like my face or my hand or a scar. I can sometimes see reflections of things I had no idea where there, like a tan line or a freckle or a mole.
Sometimes, when I try to paint a self-portrait from those reflections, the reflection lies to me, because my mind has already made it a “self-portrait” and not really a reflection. I lie to myself.
I was told once that maybe I “deserved better” - that what I want, and moreover what I need, is out there for me. She told me that I was looking in the wrong place. I want to believe that even though a reflection might not show me a familiar image, I can at least see a real one.
Still looking…
I can sometimes make out reflections or confirmations of parts of me that I knew were there, like my face or my hand or a scar. I can sometimes see reflections of things I had no idea where there, like a tan line or a freckle or a mole.
Sometimes, when I try to paint a self-portrait from those reflections, the reflection lies to me, because my mind has already made it a “self-portrait” and not really a reflection. I lie to myself.
I was told once that maybe I “deserved better” - that what I want, and moreover what I need, is out there for me. She told me that I was looking in the wrong place. I want to believe that even though a reflection might not show me a familiar image, I can at least see a real one.
Still looking…
posted by Solman @ 1/04/2006 08:48:00 PM
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Peace-ing out and aftertaste
Sometimes, when I enjoy eating something, I relish the aftertaste, and the last bite can sometimes leave me determined to preserve that taste. I might want to wait as long as possible to drink or eat anything that may rob me of this souvenir.
I feel like I might be holding on to an aftertaste. I hope I am not compromising the taste of something new and delicious in an attempt to preserve something that might be gone forever.
I feel like I might be holding on to an aftertaste. I hope I am not compromising the taste of something new and delicious in an attempt to preserve something that might be gone forever.
posted by Solman @ 1/04/2006 03:48:00 PM
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1/3/06
Happy Birthday Nick Penman.
I hope that you and your family know what effect you had on my life and that you are always in my thoughts. That made me cry. I love you.
If ANYONE knows how I might be able to get in touch with the Penmans, please forward the information to me. Last I heard, they were in Ste-Catherines, Ontario. Thanks.
If ANYONE knows how I might be able to get in touch with the Penmans, please forward the information to me. Last I heard, they were in Ste-Catherines, Ontario. Thanks.
posted by Solman @ 1/03/2006 02:41:00 PM
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Je m'arrange
Yippie fer skippy - finally back in my own head and not some earthquake shattered remnant. Everything’s been rearranged, but I am recognizing what’s mine, what I was working on, and what I was aspiring towards.
Et bon.
I am looking at quitting smoking in the next day or so. The decision is made in the hope of taking advantage of this re-familiarization/reconstruction process to introduce new habits into this legacy system.
Should probably drink less too – celebration’s over bitches ;)
Et bon.
I am looking at quitting smoking in the next day or so. The decision is made in the hope of taking advantage of this re-familiarization/reconstruction process to introduce new habits into this legacy system.
Should probably drink less too – celebration’s over bitches ;)
posted by Solman @ 1/03/2006 01:50:00 PM
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1/2/06
Coka Cola is a hell of a drink.
If you ever get into your soda, stopping can be surprisingly... emotional.
posted by Solman @ 1/02/2006 11:45:00 AM
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1/1/06
Instant Karma by John Lennon
Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you’re gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin’ to do
It’s up to you, yeah you
Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin’
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin’ at fools like me
Who in the hell d’you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Ev’ryone come on
Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Ev’ryone you meet
Why in the world are we here
Surely not to live in pain and fear
Why on earth are you there
When you’re ev’rywhere
Come and get your share
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Come on and on and on on on
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
On and on and on on and on
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you’re gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin’ to do
It’s up to you, yeah you
Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin’
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin’ at fools like me
Who in the hell d’you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Ev’ryone come on
Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Ev’ryone you meet
Why in the world are we here
Surely not to live in pain and fear
Why on earth are you there
When you’re ev’rywhere
Come and get your share
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Come on and on and on on on
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
On and on and on on and on
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
posted by Solman @ 1/01/2006 05:41:00 PM
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Music is me...
...not sure at what level (and don't specifically care), but it's there.
How will it change with my mood and moment? What (where, how, who, when) can effect my psychology and how does that relate to or change my musicology?
Normalizing... my official post anomaly word. MERCI to all who waited and helped me through it - apologies to those that might have taken offence or personalized it. I am learning.
What are the perceived thresholds on an anomaly becoming a habit; blue moon syndrome of sorts…
How will it change with my mood and moment? What (where, how, who, when) can effect my psychology and how does that relate to or change my musicology?
Normalizing... my official post anomaly word. MERCI to all who waited and helped me through it - apologies to those that might have taken offence or personalized it. I am learning.
What are the perceived thresholds on an anomaly becoming a habit; blue moon syndrome of sorts…
posted by Solman @ 1/01/2006 04:34:00 AM
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Doors and windows
never anticipate; expectations are lethal; of myself and of others.
be me; be real; allow doors and windows to open FRESH AIR so that i may be free of these closterphobic images of the self.
moments are not who i am. i am.
happy new year.
may all the doors and windows be open and closed as you need them and maybe not always as you want them. breakdowns or breaches or anomalies are unique within my own self and do not serve to define or communicate a truer self.
2006 'sans' semantics and clearly communicated none the less.
verbosity can dig deep alienating holes. simmer. xox.
be me; be real; allow doors and windows to open FRESH AIR so that i may be free of these closterphobic images of the self.
moments are not who i am. i am.
happy new year.
may all the doors and windows be open and closed as you need them and maybe not always as you want them. breakdowns or breaches or anomalies are unique within my own self and do not serve to define or communicate a truer self.
2006 'sans' semantics and clearly communicated none the less.
verbosity can dig deep alienating holes. simmer. xox.
posted by Solman @ 1/01/2006 03:10:00 AM
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12/30/05
I am hungry...
...for raw fish and Cantonese tongue (yeah you!) - maybe some Cantonese earlobe too...
;)
fuck, but whatever. harshness is to blend the pain; low hum.
cover your shame.
cover your fragile.
but open heart.
how and when will this end? what is the light that brings a darkness in its absence; like the deep sea - beautiful but cold.
i relent.
i relent.
i aspire.
irelent.
ineed.
iwant.
i desire.
irelent.
xoxo.
timeisnotapropiertarygood. tick tock tack one up those who try.
;)
fuck, but whatever. harshness is to blend the pain; low hum.
cover your shame.
cover your fragile.
but open heart.
how and when will this end? what is the light that brings a darkness in its absence; like the deep sea - beautiful but cold.
i relent.
i relent.
i aspire.
irelent.
ineed.
iwant.
i desire.
irelent.
xoxo.
timeisnotapropiertarygood. tick tock tack one up those who try.
posted by Solman @ 12/30/2005 03:36:00 AM
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12/29/05
My heart hurts
I think I got a gift, but for all the wrong reasons.
Maybe this is a gift.
Maybe this is a favor.
Maybe I'm a lucky man.
Maybe all I needed was a visit.
Maybe I'm just warming up.
Maybe I deserve better.
Maybe I expect too much.
Maybe I'll learn.
Maybe I'll give up.
Maybe I won't hurt my heart again...
Maybe this is a gift.
Maybe this is a favor.
Maybe I'm a lucky man.
Maybe all I needed was a visit.
Maybe I'm just warming up.
Maybe I deserve better.
Maybe I expect too much.
Maybe I'll learn.
Maybe I'll give up.
Maybe I won't hurt my heart again...
posted by Solman @ 12/29/2005 07:17:00 PM
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Sunshower by Chris Cornell
Dark as roses, fine as sand
Feel your healing and your sting again
I hear you laughing and my soul is saved
On forgotten graves you cry
Crawl like ivy up my spine
Through my nerves and into my eyes
Cuts like anguish
Or recollections of better days gone by
But it’s all right
When you’re caught in pain
And you feel the rain come down
It’s all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
It’s all right
Though your garden’s grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower
Eyes like oceans so far away
A feather trail to a better way
Worried mornings turn into days
Then into worried nights
But it’s all right
When you’re all in pain
And you feel the rain come down
Oh it’s all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
Oh it’s all right
Though your garden’s grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
In the sweet sunshower
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower
And it’s all right
All you’ll be you are today
Are today
It’s all right
All you’ll be you are today
Are today...
Feel your healing and your sting again
I hear you laughing and my soul is saved
On forgotten graves you cry
Crawl like ivy up my spine
Through my nerves and into my eyes
Cuts like anguish
Or recollections of better days gone by
But it’s all right
When you’re caught in pain
And you feel the rain come down
It’s all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
It’s all right
Though your garden’s grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower
Eyes like oceans so far away
A feather trail to a better way
Worried mornings turn into days
Then into worried nights
But it’s all right
When you’re all in pain
And you feel the rain come down
Oh it’s all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
Oh it’s all right
Though your garden’s grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
In the sweet sunshower
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower
And it’s all right
All you’ll be you are today
Are today
It’s all right
All you’ll be you are today
Are today...
posted by Solman @ 12/29/2005 03:47:00 PM
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Ca fait mal
I feel like
a lucky man,
a fool,
a victim,
the cause and effect,
an ass,
right,
wrong,
at home,
a stranger,
alone,
unwilling,
determined,
driven,
overwhelmed,
under stimulated,
under paid,
strapped for time,
bored,
unsupported,
confident,
unheard,
overcompensating,
desirable,
undesired,
invincible,
fragile,
…unlike myself. I miss being me. More yoga…
a lucky man,
a fool,
a victim,
the cause and effect,
an ass,
right,
wrong,
at home,
a stranger,
alone,
unwilling,
determined,
driven,
overwhelmed,
under stimulated,
under paid,
strapped for time,
bored,
unsupported,
confident,
unheard,
overcompensating,
desirable,
undesired,
invincible,
fragile,
…unlike myself. I miss being me. More yoga…
posted by Solman @ 12/29/2005 12:56:00 PM
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Amsterdam by Coldplay
Come on, my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
If i, if I’d only waited
I’d not be stuck here in this hole
Come here my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear I waited and waited
I’ve got to get out of this hole
But time is on your side
Its on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
It’s no cause for concern
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I’m dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath
And time is on your side
Its on your side now
Not pushing you down
And all around, no
It’s no cause for concern
Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I’m on my way back down again
Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won’t change a thing
I’m sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose.
And I swerve out of control
If i, if I’d only waited
I’d not be stuck here in this hole
Come here my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear I waited and waited
I’ve got to get out of this hole
But time is on your side
Its on your side now
Not pushing you down and all around
It’s no cause for concern
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I’m dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath
And time is on your side
Its on your side now
Not pushing you down
And all around, no
It’s no cause for concern
Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I’m on my way back down again
Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won’t change a thing
I’m sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose.
posted by Solman @ 12/29/2005 12:00:00 PM
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