Once free was key...

...now private is grooooovy.



Falls Brook Centre

So time was spent in New Brunswick. I used that time to learn some new and exciting stuff including working with Drupal, Drupal’s eCommerce module, and CiviCRM.

Drupal at http://www.drupal.org and
CiviCRM at http://www.civicrm.org

PHP and mySQL… so far so good, but I got a fair amount of work and learning to do to get these systems to be something I am more comfortable with.

Vancouver was good. It was nice seeing the old crew. Can’t say a whole lot has changed over there… but what has changed has certainly changed for the better. I can’t believe how much I like eating in that city. The idea of trying to eat fruits of the sea any father away than my eyes can see (see that salty orchard) can seem like a futile endeavor.

Did a Wild Rose Cleanse in New Brunswick – nothing like a sore kidney to make life a little more real.

I miss meditating… good thing for new year’s.

Gonna be 32 soon. Good thing I don’t need assets to feel whole, cause then I wouldn’t.

Concepts of Net-Zero and Zero-Footprint are now more than just ideas but still a hair short of realities… for now.

The idea behind zeroing consumption centers on solid commitments to understanding the value of fractional gains, overall direction, and retrofitting systems.

The 5 pushup principal: It’s better to do a mere 5 pushups than to do none at all. Furthermore, the value of the 5 pushups supersedes itself by an undetermined factor. That factoring is related to that little bit of a glow, that self perception, which changes in whatever minute way, and that is perpetual; self-fulfilling; self-propagating.

That said, a 5% reduction is reduction in consumption… supersedes itself…


Definition of recalcitrant - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Definition of recalcitrant - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Main Entry: re·cal·ci·trant
Pronunciation: -tr&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin recalcitrant-, recalcitrans, present participle of recalcitrare to be stubbornly disobedient, from Latin, to kick back, from re- + calcitrare to kick, from calc-, calx heel
1 : obstinately defiant of authority or restraint
2 a : difficult to manage or operate b : not responsive to treatment c : RESISTANT
synonym see UNRULY
- recalcitrant noun



New Brunswick, New Brunswick!

Moving into week 5 of 8... good times.


Return of the followship


1) No longer working for CCQ, Verint, Desjardins, or finally, CIA. No. I don’t feel like explaining that gibberish, but know it was a “good time” and it let me see things from a different perspective.

2) Got just enough money to make it until the new year (party not included) and then, it’s a real real problem. I better get moving.

3) On getting moving… on a plane the 20th to BC with Kim (6 months last weekend ;) to soak in some sights and sounds, but really to grab my shit and say hello and thanks, again. Did say sushi?

4) Then to NB for 7 weeks. http://www.fallsbrookcentre.ca. More on this later.

All that to say…

I want to get working in the NGO and non-profit community using what was explained to me as “good business process”. More on this later.

Go team!

Encroaching cold is biting at my ear, nose, and toes.


Wakame, Soaking and Chopping

Wakame, Soaking and Chopping


Paul Tracy @ Montreal Champ Car Grand Prix

Paul Tracy @ Montreal Champ Car Grand Prix


Net Metering

Saw this in New Brunswick with Brent at the Fallsbrooke Center:
Hydro-Québec - Self-generation and this white paper by BC Hydro.


Hour.ca - Dstrbo Cartoon

Funny 'cause it's true? hm...

Hour.ca - Dstrbo Cartoon

and also funny 'cause it's true:

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them. - George H. W. Bush


Bush fights ruling on wire tapping | Video | Reuters.com

“His legal defense for this program always comes back to the idea that he is the president and he is the commander-in-chief. And this just raises basic questions about the rule of law because he is basically saying that as commander-in-chief he will decide which laws he is going to follow and which laws he is not going to follow.” - Timothy Linch

Bush fights ruling on wire tapping | Video | Reuters.com


Middle Israel: After Olmert | Jerusalem Post

Middle Israel: After Olmert | Jerusalem Post: "The Netanyahu-Lieberman brand of secular conservatism, which blends a concern for Israel's demographic balance with a deep suspicion of its neighbors, can now be expected to win over more hearts. Millions of Israelis have just been through an experience that can lead them nowhere but rightward. Olmert can certainly forget about obtaining even a wry smile from the thousands of immigrants who've spent the past weeks fathoming smoke pillars and sustaining boom after boom in working-class neighborhoods across the North. Those are now all the New Right's to keep."




I would run this as a yoga retreat, Vipassana meditation center, restaurant, research facility, garden, place for interns and interested parties... and it would a pleasure to make this a non-profit (i.e. a break-even business with a mandate to provide aid and assistance to all peoples, in any way it can) with the goal of making the stay free (under the principles followed at a Vispassana Center - donations and volunteers: integrity and respect)... if someone would help me (us) buy it?

dead serious.

World War II casualties - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

World War II casualties - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Vietnam War Statistics

Vietnam War Statistics: "61% of the men killed were 21 or younger. "


Working Class Hero

Working Class Hero
by John Lennon

As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they're telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me


Definition of dichotomy - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Definition of dichotomy - Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary


Loose Change - 2nd Edition


But watch it none the less...

Loose Change - 2nd Edition

What is...

...a nation?
...a peoples?



If I could drop a bomb

If I could drop a bomb on the head of President G. Bush (and the likes), it would be this one. I know it blew me away, so - bang bang baby - time to grow up. No... that's not right... whenever he's ready ;)


OImert exclusive: Enemies must pay | Video | Reuters.com

OImert exclusive: Enemies must pay | Video | Reuters.com

Ma tete... elle fait mal...



Main Entry: he·ge·mo·ny
Pronunciation: hi-'je-m&-nE, -'ge-; 'he-j&-"mO-nE
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek hEgemonia, from hEgemOn leader, from hEgeisthai to lead -- more at SEEK
1 : preponderant influence or authority over others : DOMINATION
2 : the social, cultural, ideological, or economic influence exerted by a dominant group
- heg·e·mon·ic /"he-j&-'mä-nik, "he-g&-/ adjective

CIA - The World Factbook

Of interest...

CIA - The World Factbook

New Brunswick

Going to New Bruswick to R&D renewable energy.

RE for OIL!

That's right... gonna fight "them", best I can... but using my head instead of my hands. Alternatives to power - power of a human virus - to be replaced by empowerment of an organic humanity.

4 a : forming an integral element of a whole : FUNDAMENTAL b : having systematic coordination of parts : ORGANIZED c : having the characteristics of an organism : developing in the manner of a living plant or animal


On reading the Art of War...

On reading the Art of War (translated by Samuel B. Griffith) from page 109 under the section titled “Maneuver”:

31. To a surrounded enemy you must leave a way of escape.

Tu Nu: Show him there is a road to safety and so create in his mind the idea that there is an alternative to death. Then strike.

Ho Yen-Hsi: When Ts’ao Ts’ao surrounded Hu Kuan he issued an order: “When the city is taken, the defenders will be buried.” For month after month it did not fall. Ts’ao Jen said: “When a city is surrounded it is essential to show the besieged that there is a way to survival. Now, sir, as you have told them they must fight to the death everyone will fight to save his own skin. The city is strong and has a plentiful supply of food. If we attack them many officers and men will be wounded. If we persevere it will take many days. To encamp under the walls of a strong city and attack rebels determined to fight to the death is not a good plan!”

32. Do not press an enemy at bay.

Tu Yu: Price Fu Ch’ai said: “Wild beasts, when at bay, fight desperately. How much more is this true of men! If they know there is no alternative they will fight to the death.”

During the reign of emperor Hsyan of the Han, Chao Ch’ung-Kuo was suppressing a revolt of the Ch’iang tribe. The Ch’ing tribesman saw his large army, discarded their heavy baggage, and set out to ford the Yellow River. The road was through narrow defiles, and Ch’ung-Kuo drove them along in a leisurely manner.

Someone said: “We are in pursuit of great advantage but proceed slowly.”

Ch’ung-Kuo replied: “They are desperate. I cannot press them. If I do this easily they will go without even looking around. If I press them they will turn on us and fight to the death.”

All the generals said: “Wonderful!”

My two cents: Has the veil been removed to reveal that our “enemies” have left us no way of escape? Are we all now fighting to the death? Scary. Sad. Untriumphant.


Stay tuned

Hour by Hour by Nouvel OBS
Jerusalem Post

Any one wish to contribute other good sources (audio/video prefered as these media can be shared with mulitple listeners/viewers)?


I am done. I am sad. I am overwhelmed. I am lost.

I am Lebanese. I am Canadian. I am human.

What has happened to us? What have our forefathers brought us to? This is not time for blame, but for precedent. All this fighting serves only to protect infrastructures, of power and control of this planet’s quickly dwindling resources, and not a peoples. Hezbolla are not the problem. The Gaza is not the problem. They are symptoms of a larger issue.

I am currently working at a bank doing analysis for a bunch of VPs. Over the last two + weeks, I have lost the ability and desire to support “infrastructure”. No longer are my forefathers the problem; the cause; I am. I am a part of this as much a part of it as an Israeli or Hezoblla.

The privileges that the “Western world” has enjoyed are coming to an end. Concepts of “retirement” or “security” or “economic controls” are no longer feasible. Consumption will change. Inflation and deflation will rule. Plastic realities, political, economic, or ethical (i.e. religious) will melt under the flame of hatred and oppression. This is not a planet that can survive these methodologies; the protection of infrastructure. We must relent our individualisms and assumptions of social and international equallity or balance – there is no equal balance – only natural balance, which is often not “equal” but “equitable”.

When I lived in BC, I saw forest fires. The firemen never assumed the ability to stop the fire, but approached the problem by defining what it was that they TRULY needed to protect. Fires are natural. Fighting them is natural. Fighting to protect ones self is natural. Fighting the entire fire is ignorance.

Why do Israel and its supporters believe that “terrorism” can be stopped? Why are they fighting fire with fire? It cannot succeed. It is a symptom of greater, misaligned issues. We cannot marginalize. We cannot assume righteousness. Even a terrorist is “right” within a given context. It is the context that needs to be addressed. Remove the notions that a group, militant or otherwise, can be solely responsible for the actions of a country. Did the US need to lose the towers to understand those implications? Maybe if they flatten the Gaza, maybe flatten Beirut… getting closer? Or maybe flatten Tel Aviv, maybe flatten New York… then what? Police state? Socialist rule? Genocide? What can come of all this? What are we leading ourselves into?

I am very sad that no one has stopped both Israel (mature, wealthy, and educated) and other militant factions (young, desperate, and uneducated). I can’t imagine burning a child to teach it of fire. Why do we burn these Middle Eastern children? Why do we assume a common context? Why do we ask for responsible actions from these learning and growing political infants, when all they see is irresponsibility from their fathers and mothers? Invasions. Force. Finality.

I will not be a part of this front. I will not support my government blindly. I will not remain speechless. I will not ignore my involvement or my responsibilities to what is right and truthful. Meditation showed me my own misaligned approach to securing happiness; balance. Within myself, I see now – how misguided we are, how our egos reign dominant, how we fight to protect what we know and not what we need to learn. I will not be misguided. I will not fight for status quo.

I believe, for the moment and from an uneducated position (i.e. who knows what the truth is anyway – marred and manipulated), that this invasion of Lebanon was a long time in the making and that the intention is to possibly use Lebanon as a global front line against Syria and Iran (i.e. why they could so quickly evacuate the entire country), or what’s left of a sovereign Mideast. Where is the logic in sacrificing millions of lives for the recovery of two mostly pictureless and faceless soldiers? But of course, this is not about kidnapped soldiers...


lacking in meaning

In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning. - [George Orwell]


Larscapes - Paris - Tours Aillaud aka Tours Nuages

Larscapes - Paris - Tours Aillaud aka Tours Nuages


Anatomy of the Human Body

Nice - love the stuff: Gray's Anatomy



Not really sure why it took so long, but Kim (my "new" friend) went out of her way to introduce me to Dad's Bagels, and... wow... wow, what great Indian food? Yup. Great. She did a takeout thing. A trip to Dads is now on the list, likely to be paired with a visit to NDG's Cosmos, with some possible heavy lifting, fast running, and/or somber sleeping in between stops.

i'll let you know... ;)


think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts

it's always good to be able to visualize something when trying set your focus, like this for example.


Giddy up...

CBC 1 and 3 for me!!!

iPod Remote Radio

A very strange sign of the times...

i'm gonna miss being normal...

TOKYO (Reuters) - Exhausted Japanese workers in need of a pick-me-up will soon be able to get a hit of canned oxygen at their local convenience store.

Seven-Eleven Japan will start marketing the new product, "O2 Supli", at select stores in the Tokyo area later this month and expand sales nationwide in June.


one of the first things i wanted to do with the internets



Grooves (tempbits)

It seems that my main methods of doing anything oscillate; approach oscillates; timing oscillates; priorities oscillate. I mean that… I tend to groove along lines of behavior and not necessarily hang out in any one for too long – consecutively. I haven’t blogged. I know why; the same reason as last time. It’s like I’ve reverted back to a temporary habit or behavior. “It’s not that I always do this, I just do this in the summer… sometimes…”

These days, I’m feeling a hair anti-social (bars seem noisy) and a hair exhausted (longing for a TV)…no reason… everybody rocks and I’m working just hard enough, but nothing to merit the slow fatigue… it’ll last a week more… groove… ;)

Found a meditation on Wednesdays at Concordia.




Laika rock-block in sands of my hour glass...

...this blog as stopped the flow i grew to know...

and love.

the intent of this post was to say, I'll be at Laika at 5pm today (less important) and... begone you nasty minute-minding pebble and let these sands of the unknOwn flow (more important)!



Chron.com | New York offers housing subsidies to lure teachers.



The Chisel

Carving beauty into flesh,
with a throbbing chisel.

It longs for purpose
softly, warmly, outwardly coaxing in
its own trembling beauty; inherently; reflexively.


Related to this, CAA put out a vehicle usage analysis called Driving Costs, 2005 Edition (pdf, 87kb). Looks like I wasn't terribly far off.


Fallout, indeed

The number of people with medical problems linked to the 9/11 attacks on New York has risen to at least 15,000.


man, i could not love yoga more. it occasionally permits me to be in awe of my own body and mind; equanimity. it can be like watching a plane take off for the first time or a volcano rumble, etc… I am expecting to resume regular practice soon (with the apt geared towards that end). unmotivated? look at this...

I didn't know the human body could do that...


fun with techmology

Some sorta experiment i'm trying:



5 hours

It’s 6pm (fuck, 6:30! push back :30mins). I got 10 things to do. Let’s try for five:

6:00 – 7:00 yoga (done! 7:40!)
7:00 – 8:00 shower pack for tomorrow (hit canadian tire instead)
8:00 – 9:00 pack more, begin work (hit canadian tire instead)
9:00 – 10:00 work, update web (fuck, watch 24!)
10:00 – 11:00 read, update web, update ipod (shower now!)


Ingredients in my new lip balm: Organic Olive Oil, Organic Shea Butter, Organic Bees Wax, Organic Coco Butter, Cinnamon.

Love it!


60 + 60 + 60

Put $60 down on this to know it'll "one day" be mine:

Takamine and for pics

Just...can't...wait... ;)

Thinking black?

New pad looks STELLAR!!


Buttle Nucks

Every night I get home, assuming I get home, I sit at this PC trying to do all the things I need to do – but I bottleneck. It’s driving me nuts. Getting the Chi going takes too long and then it’s time for bed. I have WAY too much to read, listen to, and write. I was out with mike again the other night and I was able to use him to gauge my slowly lessening feeling of equanimity. The waitress, for whom I have an affinity, knows a little about my struggle – “five minutes a day” she said… beautiful. I needed that - and Mike suggested not beating myself up over it. I know I am. The analogy that came to mind is the feeling you get every time you leave a more beautiful self and selflessness behind – like a perfect beach with beautiful people where you’d share you shirt (if you had one). “And why did I back on the plane?” – impermanence? Perhaps. Perhaps it’s the inevitable return to an inherently noisier and less focused truth. I know I now have context of a deeper nature; I know the beach is there, and I know I could just go, and that’s…




My horoscope for the same week I a) get paid of the first time since October 2005 b) get a new apt...

It's high time for you to spend more money, Pisces. You're lagging way behind in your purchase of the goods and services you desperately need. Not only that: You've been lax in getting yourself the profound healing that can only come from shopping therapy. Get out there and splurge! Your role model is the Pentagon, which shells out an average of $8,612 per second. APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. The truth is that it makes sense for you to spend more money on only one thing: experiences that will help you get better at performing a beloved skill that will fuel many future adventures.

Ms. Pink to Orange to Redhot

Holy moly. It's pissing rain today.

I asked Ms. Pink if she could kindly drive the 2km today as sopping wetness was not on my list of things to bring to work today. "My pleasure" was not the answer.

The answer was an enraged "go fuck yourself" (paraphrasing) followed by a "why didn't you ask me yesterday when I could've prepared!!!" – prepared? For the weather? What planet is this girl from? Besides even checking the weather doesn't give the exact condition (i.e. drizzle vs. cats and dogs). Mr. Brown, overhearing said conversation, kindly says "I'll drive you." I decline his offer seeing as he has to drive in mostly the opposite direction. I reply, "I will walk the rain; with pleasure; with pleasure" Yes, said twice plus one more. He accepts. She get in the car and starts pulling out. Mr Brown flags he down. "Wait! You'll take him as it only entails a 15 second stop on your way." She grinds the transmission pulling back in… (not the first time I've heard this automatic grind gears under her guidance).

I got in the car, thanked her, and kindly ask her not to road rage our fragile asses all the way to our usual drop off point. She road raged without any hesitation; bang bang over the first speed bump.

I've raced my fair share of cars and have ridden a motorcycle through some the nastiest/wickedest/most amazing roads (same roads btw) in North America. I have a great deal of respect for the condition of the vehicle, of the roads, and of my mind when operating a motor vehicle of any kind, especially at speed. I got out of the car within 15 – 30 seconds – into the pissing rain, as I believed it would safer for both of us.

Mr. Brown saved my ass once again and got me to work on time. Merci.


word: happenstance

happenstance: a circumstance especially that is due to chance

Hole in the wall

Just got an apt. back near the old hood. It ain't the Ritz... not even a Motel 8... 7? Ok, maybe 6 by time I'm done with it, but the price ($400/month) and location (foot of the mountain plateau side) are more than perfect and I can leave anytime I want (possibly within 3 months depending on how it feels).

It’s a stepping stone kinda situation, and as I am mostly a minimalist these days, this should be better than fine. It will serve as a “get my stuff outta storage” deal with a little “stuff back for BC” sprinkled on top for flavor. Oh, not to forget the death of “can I borrow a clean shirt and grab a shower?” preceded by the 12am phone call asking “dude. sorry, but can i crash?” thusly avoiding the tumultuous bus ride and multi km march home (i.e. 4 of the 11 days that i've had this job). It’s also got a parking spot for my buds with metal chariots and eventually my metal horse whenever I ride/ship it home.

Now to decide who gets a set of keys?

word: defenestrate \dee-FEN-uh-strayt\

transitive verb: To throw out of a window.

"Some of his apparent chums... would still happily defenestrate him if they caught him near a window."

Damn that's a funny word.


The more we share

It’s the strangest little anomaly. The more we share, the more we receive. If someone out there doesn’t grasp these concepts of Karma or the overall “you get what you give/do onto others” concepts of design and determination in behavior - I’d be happy to a) share some of my experiences or b) Hm… there seems to be no b)… this is a good sign.

I know now that the “MY” in my life is no more than a secured fiction of my own perception and imagination. What I have to give can only be shared by example; by practice; by compromising. This will ultimately lead to the kind observation that is required to better discover the self, and thusly release it. So, with that said, leading by example should at its root tell me, that the I, like the US, is occasionally lost along the path at some given time; that we don’t always believe in what we’re doing; that it’s ok to be wrong.

This stuck in my head after Vipassana, that like yoga, my daily practices can and will vary, for the better and the worse. In yoga, forcing myself to touch my toes when my body cannot (and because of I did it yesterday and the day before), will take a part of what is the truth in yoga is away from me; equanimity. It’s better that I obverse the difference rather than try to be the me I might have been the days before (meditation made me call it “my nature” (self-implied status quo), but I know now that such a thing only exists because I want it to). Yesterday is not an actual reality, but in fact as unique and ever changing as the memory itself.

Anger, sadness, depression, desire, aversion, highs and lows, terrible and triumphant – all alike - are all part of that process… we are, like the oceans, the wind, and the fire, simply momentary anomalies of craving and aversion, of existence, should what we perceive be good or bad or whatever else. What might be possible, if I try that is, is a release of the self in the scope what is real in a possible truth that could be my live vs. a fictional manifestation of craving and aversion.

My friend is having a baby. I’ve know him for over 15 years. For one of the first times since I’ve known him (to love golf), he put his much loved stroke (symbolic of many self-motivated traits within all ourselves) lower on the list of his EXPECTATIONS and cravings. He told me that a year ago he "would’ve done yoga, hit the gym, seen a psych, whatever to shave 5+ strokes off (his) game.” Good. I mean what is golf game against a new born? In my mind, it’s less than the average in motivating self-improvement. And then, what about sharing those compromises in a conducive manner? It’s, again in my mind, certainly more than golfing a par course. He shared with me. I love you man ;) and watching you love something other than yourself (of course within this context) is more than inspiring. Cheers and know I’ll be here when you need or want me.


Urban Dictionary

Cool: Urban Dictionary

Used stuff

This might be of interest. It's a site that Joyce turned me on to:

Used Canada


word: anfractuous \an-FRAK-chuh-wus\ adjective

anfractuous \an-FRAK-chuh-wus\ adjective

: full of windings and intricate turnings : tortuous

Baby you can drive my car

Did this fast (in Montreal):

Buspass @ $63 = 32 trips @ $1.92 ($1.92 being the discounted ticket price if you buy 6, else it be $2.50 per segment)

Average #WorkDays per month = 20

20 x $1.92 = $38.40 x 2 (i.e. the round trip) = $76.80 @ the discount

So that's pretty easy. Now let's drive:

Average cost per litre = $1

Average KM/L = 15KM (this is being generous)

This is just my day, not everyone's, but…

Approx KMs one way to my job (average suburban living) 22KM
Approx KMs to say head downtown/friend/store after work 8KM

Approx KM for a roundtrip day 60KM

60KM / 15 (KM avg. per litre) = 4L
4L x 1$ = $4
$4 x 20 days = $80 (approx gas budget required to drive 1200KM/month)
$80 + $400/month vehicle cost (again, generous because I'm including insurance, maintenance, parking, tickets, etc…) = $480/month

$480 / 1200KM = $0.40 per KM

So one day at work with a roundtrip of 60KM:

60KM x 0.40 = $24 per day (and again, being generous)

How much was that bus pass again? And that, in my opinion, should not be the primary reason for considering public transit. I often hear people tell me "I don't have time to sit on a bus" but…

"Buy this car to drive to work
Drive to work to pay for this car"
- [Yumily Haines from Metric]

Feel free to look at this from the EPA (1 US gallon = 3.7854118 litres) .

Oh Chloé, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind

One word; one piece; one more reason to get up & out: Chloé

...and in four words: Les Chocolats De Chloé

Shout out: Mike Lenczner

This is the first in a series I want to call the "Shout out" and it's just that… a chance for me* to give a shout out to prop and praise the passionate, particular, and remarkable… today's special:

Mike rocks – he's simply a great guy. Very considerate and aware of himself and those around him. He is also working hard to get something done within the "we the people" quotient à la Ile-Sans-Fil, not exactly a rarity in these times, but his perseverance and apparent selflessness** surely are. I guess we met as a result of some of these common traits (i.e. through the ISF connection).

* Me? What do I know? Really, it's just my way of saying thanks to the many and to put some positive energy out there…

** haven't know him that long, but sometimes you can just tell ;)

French goddesses and socialettes

God damn are there some beautiful women in the city (in fact not all French), and moreover, in this here building. Trouble lies in focusing on any given one, so I'll focus on all of them, equally, and hope for something/someone that will elude my conscience mind; just take me; eliminate concepts of craving and aversion in whatever new relationship awaits me. In the mean time, I'll allow my heart to aneur. And how does one go about meeting and greeting these wonderfully… pause…

I've been eating dates. They are desirably sweet, moist, delicious and good for you. Could that be where the idea of "going on a date" originates? ;)

…wonderfully and desirably sweet visions and a proof of a higher power: the socialette. I HATE SMOKING, but love smoke breaks. The social cigarette has forever been a pillar in all my extroverted mandates. It provides we smokers with the indispensable ability to leave our desks, GO OUTSIDE, leave work behind, and discuss whatever over the 3 – 5 minutes we have together under the banners of "Wow. Are we ever dumb fucks for smoking!" and "Damn it's nice/cold/wet out!" and "So what's up/new/your name?" You'd be amazed how flattering it can be when someone chains a second socialette just to make it a 6 – 10 minute rendezvous.

I must figure out a way to maintain the qualities of socialette-isms without the inescapable 25 year reunion in a cancer ward and painfully reduced quality of life; pink has always been my color of choice. ;)

Maybe I could just light them and let them burn? Wash my hand after and done?


Scissor sister

The bank tells me I may never own a house and I'm able to smile it off. My sister, on the other hand, got me mad, and for the first time since my meditation, because she wouldn't (again) drive me the remaining 1.8km to work this morning. I am always willing to walk, it's just... well, I just think she could've done it. Lol. It was like my yesterself knew just what I would need to read first thing this morning.

My anger or disappointment was, after half a kilometer, replaced with compassion. She is so angry at everybody, and seemingly at herself, but I don't think she realizes it. She uses my mother's car on a daily basis, thusly leaving my autumned mother home alone without her wheels. The two of them have been getting, um, warm and warmer about the issue. Yesterday, I tried to suggest the realistic concept of sharing a day here and a day there - it bought me an ear full and another day on some dusty streets; like it was all my fault. Oh, and forget any possibility that I might need a car on occasion (i.e. tonight would've been good as I am invited to dinner in the city – and once again a choice between a 10:30 public transit curfew vs. the absorption of a 2 hour bus ride and then a 2km walk uphill).

Somewhere between doing nothing and concern for the well being of others has to exist a tier of constructive and non-intrusive compassion. Reconfirmed is that patience for the challenges in the lives others is a choice merit in situations like these, in trying to help others; ourselves; impermanence.

So sis, I'm sorry you're so upset with whatever it is that drives you to these mad road rage-ish behaviors that I keep seeing. Observation seem to yield that it's killing you softly. I'm sorry I got upset with you this morning, for my own sake at least, and even though I didn't really react. Let me know what I can do help, and let me start with more variable kilometer days on some dusty streets and umpteen hours on city buses. I will not only handle it, but find ways to enjoy it. You know where I am if and when you want to talk.

My dad asked that I keep the family outta the blog, so no more… enter Ms. Pink ;)


So behind

One week at work and I feel one week behind... time management... need to read and write and then read again... I'm verging on feeling bad about letting myself down... but I haven't. I'm doing what I must; mostly.

Went to see the banks today about the whole "behind" thing - got escorted out.

"You'll have to find another financial institution sir" - nice.

Royal - out. TD - out. Who’s left and why do I care? Credit? Houses? Cars? RRSPs?

Convenience and comfort are mechanisms of ingenuity and acceptance and, when no one can drive, always be willing to walk ;)

Testing the an email post...

...which will allow me to post from work :)


Day away

I am so happy that this day is almost behind me. It is official; I am getting older - slowly.

Got an email today from the top brass stating that they are going to further restrict web access. As it stands, I can barely count on getting through to Google. Hm. Roger's managed over-changing me again – that's right, again – so that makes them 0 for 4 in the accurate invoice department. Jebus. Didn't get all heated this time around. Just asked for it to be fixed and they fixed it. I was considering picking up one of these GSM wificards to work around this Chinafication of my corporate internet, but I'm positive less is more with cell companies. Too bad… anyone have any ideas regarding being your own cellphone VoIP service provider?

We can walk it out

Used this to determine how far I'd have to walk home at say 3am. After a 30 minute ride on a night bus (that's not including the expected cross city core westbound jaunt, so add about a hour or a $10 – 15 cab ride), I get to walk a refreshing 1.7km uphill and burn me a whopping 180 calories.


the 8:10 red eye

I was early for work today, but only as result of not getting home last night. Headed to Laika to work on an Ile-sans-fil application portal demo. Mike met me there to go over some of the details and we ended up getting hosed; licked; mashed. I crashed at his place and then came into work. I think I might keep a complete change of clothing here so that I might avoid wearing certain clothes two days in a row (obviously happy I wore layers yesterday). I look fresh but feel like curling up in a ball under my desk. I wonder when these types of mornings will become a memory.

On a brighter note, work has started to groove… getting used to smells, sounds, French, interactions, pace, and brightness (not so much on that one today). Heading home after this to watch a movie in bed. I think I'll have to add pain killers to that list of office survival wear... ouch...


Newjo like Cujo (evil by nature and not the dog's fault)

New job... hm... so far, so French, so freckled in the fringe of my mind, so fascist, so fuckin'... fuckin' good to get working - optimistic - my blog only loads to about 50% of what should be there; half full; find equanimity.

I'm at work now, making this posting because they ain`t gots nothing for me to do yet. "Accès Interdit" at every other click; dirty desk (like Mr Clean dirty, not Einstein dirty); sticky keyboard; water rusty; chair stained in just the right places; lights fluorescent; clocks that tick backwards; grey cubical walls; bad coffee in Styrofoam cups; coffeemate and stir sticks; overhearing consumerist manifestos; recycle nothing but the air, which between 10:30am and 2:00pm smells like tomato by-product on a bed of starch; MSN gone; RSS gone; POP/SMPT/WebMail gone; Firefox gone; BlogThis gone; This gone... find equanimity; understand impermanence, and... YOU CAN`T TOUCH MY IPOD YOU PROXY BITCH!!! (that was meant to be funny, not angry... yet)

Ok. Whatever. Gotta get outta my house and I need my bike back (lotsa Montreal/Sutton rounds trips expected this summer) - this should get those goals accomplished and I will accept it on such premise; observe it; not react. My family is so happy about this job while the people who love me cry for me. Don't cry... I'll figure it out.

One word...


I have returned a different man; diminished ego and a faction of the man I used to be, but a fraction of a whole. I've been such a fool for so long; forever. I love you all and I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner - we would've all had it a little better...

This is so hard. I am hurting in the most beautiful ways, but it really does hurt. Reality has fully morphed on me. Details to come I guess, but I'm not sure when...

Let's see if I can copy/paste this from Mot de Microsoft to the blog...

...nope; Blogger gone. Maybe I'll cry just one quiet tear... equanimously... diligently... aware... half full; half full; half full... breathe... live... love.

It doesn't matter how hard or long or well you iron your shirt, wrinkles will arise once you start to wear it. Keeping the wrinkles out requires a continuity of practice, and it's quite a challenge to iron a shirt all day; everyday - especially if you're still wearing it.


Really quickly

got a job: CCQ
gone meditating: see this
the irish suck: back on the 19th - it's a celebration - takers? (i think?)


The Sun Online - Bizarre online: The Simpsons come to life


By VINCE SOODIN and VERONICA LORRAINE (The Sun) - MAKERS of the hit cartoon The Simpsons have filmed the show's opening titles using real actors.

In the hit viral going around the world we get to see what Bart, Homer, Marg, Lisa and Maggie would look like if they were humans.

And you can be among the first to watch the hilarious titles, filmed over 18 months in Britain, by clicking one of the link below.

The clip re-enacts the title sequence to a tee beginning with the camera zooming into a schoolroom to see a blonde Bart scribbling lines on the blackboard.

Simpson’s maker Matt Groening has approved the human version of the show’s opening credits to promote the brand new series.

Sky One will broadcast the promo as its viewers gear up for the The Simpson's 17th season which begins on March 20.

An insider said: "We're really excited about it.

"We used regular actors, not so much for their resemblance - as you can't copy a bunch of yellow characters - but becuase you can easily identify with them."

A balding actor plays Homer as he leaves work dropping some nuclear waste out of the window on the way home.

While a baby girl copies the scene where Maggie appears to be driving Marg’s car.

The opening montage ends with the whole family squeezed on the settee ready to watch the cartoon version of the show.

The Simpsons come to life

Audi World Site > New Cars > Driveline & Suspension

Not sure what you might understand by reading this, but these transmissions are truely "outside the box". Got a chance to see one of the Multitronic systems at the UN climate change conference that was hosted in Montreal in Dec 2005... and yes, very cool.

Audi World Site > New Cars > Driveline & Suspension


OpenID: an actually distributed identity system

OMG... you ask, some answer...

OpenID: an actually distributed identity system

How fun is this?

Social obediance gone awry?

Thanks for that Stevey...

Ferrari North America - Ferrari Driving Experience

Hello hello; what's all this then? More money I "could" spend... to the tune of $8,500 USD. I think I can drive an F1 in Belgium for $12,000 USD... not sure what might be more productive - I KNOW I'll never get the chance to hop in an F1 car in "daily life", and know that people do own Ferrari's, so a) live the dream b) acquire a "reusable" skill set...

Ferrari North America - Ferrari Driving Experience

Neither fer now (lol!), and I'd have trouble spending that kind of money on myself without some way to reapply that skill-set... maybe those bank robbers in the UK with the 100M are looking for another driver ;)


BBC NEWS | Telescopes 'worthless' by 2050

Sad... I like stars... and traveling:

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Telescopes 'worthless' by 2050

"Ground-based astronomy could be impossible in 40 years because of pollution from aircraft exhaust trails and climate change, an expert says."

word: vacuous

Main Entry: vac·u·ous
Pronunciation: 'va-ky&-w&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin vacuus
1 : emptied of or lacking content
2 : marked by lack of ideas or intelligence : STUPID, INANE
"a vacuous mind" "a vacuous expression"
3 : devoid of serious occupation : IDLE

synonym see EMPTY
- vac·u·ous·ly adverb
- vac·u·ous·ness noun



Done. Apache, mySQL, PHP, WordPress...

I wasn't hard; it wasn't easy (context and approach needed a little time).

So far, so good...

French-cais / Angl-ish

Traslation makes your mind work in a completely different fashion; like riding a completely different bike - still a bike, but different... different pedals, crank shaft, brakes, seat, wheels, gears, etc... it changes your canadence, endurance, and strength range... adjustment required.


Our egos...

...our self-being, will kill us all. I can't imagine starting any war without the word "i".

recent views:
Hotel Rawanda

BBC NEWS | UK | England | Kent |

BBC NEWS | UK | England | Kent | Record £53m stolen in depot raid: "Raiders involved in Britain's biggest cash robbery got away with £53,116,760 in cash from the Securitas depot in Tonbridge, Kent Police have revealed."


Engaging The Voice Of Youth

Engaging The Voice Of Youth

The Templeton

The Templeton
Originally uploaded by Soli.
The header ;)

The Templeton!

I finally got their site done. Comments? Suggestions?

The Templeton : www.thethempleton.com : thetempleton.blogspot.com


Duhhn Tuuun


Letterman made fun of some band the same way; he was actually reading their CD cover (something like singing "from apples to tangerines, i love fruits, they keep lean". He was less than impressed.) This is funny.

Hm. Why?

I return from my meditation on the 19th of March, aka, St. Irish Day "Par"-ain't-in-my-dictionar-ade... nice little test? From heaven to hell in a day? Something to look forward to? Something to forgo?

Something fer sure...



12am last night; i think i'm ready; do it.

bye bye microsoft. well, still got me a complete install of Visual Studio 2005 with SQL and the likes, but open office, mozilla... ya know - actually, the list:

windows xp, open office

firefox (with various ext), thunderbird (with various ext incl. iCal calendar)

vs.net 2005, sql 2005, php 5.1.2, apache 2.0.55, mySQL 5.0..18

itunes, winamp, media monkey, euPod

google pack

network stumbler, virtual pc

AC3 Fliter, Ad-Ware, Alt-Tab Swticher ,Beyond Compare, Bit Torrent
CuteFTP, DivX, HP Scanner, iScrobbler, MS AntiSpyware, Plaxo, WinZip,
WinRAR, Tweak UI


Atmospheric Circulation

This is awesome:

Atmospheric Circulation

La Nuit Électronik, 3ème Édition

This may be the event of choice for after BOA this Saturday (i.e. my birthday party):

La Nuit Électronik, 3ème Édition

Police, Crown draw drug line

This should be interesting:
Vancouver Police, Crown draw drug line

Insp. Bob Rolls, who is in charge of District 2, the northeast section of the city that includes the Downtown Eastside, announced a new enforcement program against public drug use.

"There's no other city in North America that would put up with this," he said.

"We don't allow this for consuming alcohol, yet we allow it for cocaine and heroin. This doesn't make sense."

There will be zero tolerance for crack cocaine smoking or intravenous drug injections in public, he said, noting officers have arrested five people since the crackdown began at the end of last week.


word: agitprop

someone used this word over the weekend and i had to ask what it meant:

agitprop \AJ-it-prop\, noun:
Propaganda, especially pro-communist political propaganda disseminated through literature, drama, music, or art.

word: titivate

titivate \TIT-uh-vayt\, transitive and intransitive verb:
To smarten up; to spruce up.


Old post I'm glad I read:

Getting there...

Job Shytes

I appreciate context and relativity, but wow is it ever a repetitive task to apply for jobs online. This idea of the “Who are you?” online profile deal is becoming a small but growing waste of time. Over and over:

Subscribe, name, address, position, salary, username, etc… between the jobs, the blogs, the logs, the hogs…

Suggestion: use a unique identifier, like a SIN or something, and create a base non proprietary open-source secure, um, passport that might minimize this constant and ever growing redundancy. I realize that MS tried; shall we try again (but get it right?).


word: terse

Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): ters·er; ters·est
Etymology: Latin tersus clean, neat, from past participle of tergEre to wipe off

1 : smoothly elegant : POLISHED
2 : devoid of superfluity (a terse summary); also : SHORT, BRUSQUE
synonym see CONCISE
- terse·ly adverb
- terse·ness noun


"Your're hot"

"I'm not hot... I'm just cool."

"You're hot 'cause you're cool!"




Offically booked for Vipassana: March 8th - 19th at the

Everybody Knows

Everybody Knows
by Leonard Cohen

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows that the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight is fixed
the poor stay poor and the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows that the boat is sinking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody's got this broken feeling
Like their Momma or there dog just died
Everybody's hands are in their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
and a long stem rose
Everybody knows


Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that its now or never
Everybody knows that its me or you
Everybody knows that you live forever
When you had a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old black Joe still pickin' cotton
for ribbons and bows
Everybody knows you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you been faithful
Give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you been discrete
So many people you had to meet
without your clothes
and Everybody knows


Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
and Everybody knows

Last of...

(alternate title "LaVigne/LaVile")

I've seen some nasty shit in my time. I've taken most it in stride and with the ability to understand what I was seeing. Even when the towers fell in NYC, as devastated as I was, I still had some frame of reference. The event was within an extreme but understandable scope of human nature.

Last night, I met someone outside of my scope of reasonable understanding.

Last night, I was ill. I was so repulsed that it hurt my gut - physically. I was literally heaving. I have never in my whole life been brought to a gag reflex by individual’s behavior. I didn't even think it was possiblity for me.

I feel (a little)...

...less innocent
...less naïve
...less open

I will not let this bleed into my general optimism regarding the human condition and how I’d like to live my life.

I will not let last night destroy the last of… my faith in… real passion; real love… for what is real and true, in life and in love; respect for ourselves.

Hope it was fun for you… good luck with that.


Me @ 7 maybe?

Me @ 7 maybe?
Originally uploaded by Soli.
found this in a drawer... lol.

If I could give my 7 year old self some advice...



(Several hours later)...

Don't let the status quo intimidate you. There is no one right answer.

Car Sharing

I will try to not own a car, but: Car Sharing


...hooray? Don't really care, but I just broke 100+ in that there cluster map deally (see Blogorati in the sidebar)... kinda cool. 1000+ here i come...



Roger's Tele-pain-in-my-ass

RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNTTT - but later... b/c I’m going to wait and see how this REPEATING PROBLEM gets solved THIS TIME. Been back since Dec... Roger's FUCKED UP every bill (i.e. 3)... must be hard running a company professionally, well, I'll ask them when they actually GET THERE!!!!!

Two rants in as many weeks. What to do? Everything myself can't be the answer...

I swear... the way I do business is going to change at a fundamental level, especially when dealing with service based industries.

It is 3:23pm. I was assured a call within 48 hours (after being informed that "her" manager doesn't take calls - pause... "So what do I do?" I asked. "My manager can call you". Anne (employee number 730 3462), why did I have to ask? Why is this need to solve a minor problem greeted by with fragmented information, insolence, and a complete lack of coherence?

Let's see it Roger's.

P.S. If a client types rogers.com (plus click for Consumer/Business) into a browser, he/she gets redirected to shoprogers.com – do I need to draw this audacity out for anyone?

Ok. much calmer… last rant ever (I wish)!


These are cool... more GD crap in the pile but: Bluetooth Hi-Fi Sports Headphone Kit



ok. so unless i get "the call" I want from this seemingly endless foray into "hurry up and wait", I am taking on PHP and open source... 2 steps at a time...


Tire dears

For the first time since i got my iPod, my ears are tired before the battery. YEAH! Any podcast favs someone wants to recommend? I'm currently subscribed to 30+ podcasts totally 8+ gig. My absolute number one favorite:

CBC Radio 3

Clic Clak Dadatak

My dad took me to see his operation today (my first time) - a massive dried and frozen food goods warehouse. I met his entire staff. I haven’t been my dad’s son, at least not in that way, in a long time. He asked me to shave before we left the house. Funny.



How can you not love it (at least a little)?

Burn baby

What should I torch after watching this?




gots me a ticket (+1 for the friend who actually GOT THEM!!! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!).

offically a party now... takers?

Leo's Lyrics

A little cleaner: Leo's Lyrics



This is really cool. Works quite well...




Freewill Astrology borrowed me this:

I love you between shadow and soul. I love you as the plant that hasn't bloomed yet, and carries hidden within itself the light of flowers. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. Because of you, the dense fragrance that rises from the earth lives in my body, rioting with hunger for the eternity of our victorious kisses. - [Pablo Neruda]

i hunger for you "without knowing how, or when, or from where" - or who...

...another v day without knowing you... ;) a bientot j'espere.

BYOB - eco-chic reusable shopping bags

These friends of mine started this company out in BC; Bring Your Own Bag. I really want to help them push things forward, so I’ve included the link under the "Links" sections of this blog.

Please help by buying a bag. It is small local businesses like these that need our attention and support if we are going to make a tangible and sustainable difference in the way things are getting done.

Capitalism can work better (or at least more sustainably) if we:

Buy local
Buy whole
Buy at real value (vs. economic manifestations of perceived value)
Buy what we need vs. what we want and want and want...

...and maybe look good doing it ;)

Thanks to Liz and Jenny for making it happen.

Let me know if I can help.


Metric is coming!!!! Anybody who wants to come, or more importantly, take me (as a birthday present maybe? Tickets cost money I don't have... grr), here is the link for tickets.

I can cook a delicious dinner beforehand as a way of saying "please do it!" ;)


While listening to CJAD Talk Radio, an Imam (the prayer leader of a mosque) said something like:

"If you want to create a real change, fill the Mosques instead of the streets"

Certainly better than burning things... let’s try to not criticize but to empathize with "the oppressed". I was raised a Muslim – now I am a Christewslimuddha – for me, it’s all about…

KARMA: the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence.

TRANSMIGRATION: to pass at death from one body or being to another.

I’ve transmigrated, in a sense, from one self-being to another. I hope to continue…

So the point here is to treat disrespect with respect, angry with empathy, violence with peace – to lead by example…



This is cool. They claim to have produced a plastic bottle that can decompose in 80 days (carbon credits may be required). Requires validation:


word: substrate

Main Entry: sub·strate
Function: noun
Etymology: Medieval Latin substratum

2: the base on which an organism lives <the soil is the substrate of most seed plants>
3: a substance acted upon (as by an enzyme)


I am a very easy going person (some might disagree b/c I get all serious when it happens to matter, but whatever), so understand that this really did piss me off. Last night, I made $20 DJing. Good. Needed the cash, but also needed to travel +30KM to get back home (at 1am).

I get on the bus and ask the bus driver if a connecting bus was still going to be running at 1am. He said yes. I got off the bus at the connection terminal still +15KM away for my destination. The bus I was on (the second to last of the night) left the terminal. I walked over to the connecting bus stop only to find out it stopped running at 11pm. SOB!

I don’t know everything. I easily admit that. When being asked for directions, I say that I don’t know if that is that case. Did this bus driver make an error, try his best, or just not care to give me the information I needed to get home. It ended up costing me a $20 cab ride (FYI: 20 seconds in a Montreal taxi @ 100km/h = $1 or $3 a minute). SOB!

Anyway, buddy, driver dear, if ya don’t know, don’t share. I woulda stayed on yer 12:50 211 leaving Lionel Grioux bus heading West on Thursday the 9th of February, 2006. STCUM STCUM! If you made a mistake, ok, peace, but know that I could have made a few phone calls from the bus that would’ve saved me the frustration, money, and time. Next time, I will. STCUM!

Let me add that had I not gotten paid for my night’s work, I would’ve been waking up a few 9 to 5ers to get a lift. Good thing this only affected one person for one day!

It was suggested that I should’ve asked in French; ignoring that b/c I want to esstee.

The truth is out there.



Originally uploaded by Soli.
Wow. Just met with ISF (Ile-Sans-Fil). Good times. Now, I am DJing, while posting, using ISF - just took the picture too... this is nuts. I love it.

Anybody want to recommend a sleeping aid b/c I've lost the intent ;)


My time in that warehouse last month gave me some long lost perspective on my need to constantly be doing… it’s so past time for my first Vipassana visit.

So here are the more or less idle thoughts that flowed through my head while I attached ionizers and popped filters into fan blades (I took notes in the warehouse and now need them somewhere accessible, so this is more for me the anyone else):
Create C# eCommerce sample (meeting someone tomorrow to look at best practices)

Rock Koton (or RocKoton - band name derived from how I was feeling)

Resentment can cause me to act tough – donwannabe acting.

I had been trying to control my feelings by forcing closure(s) – the (s) means that I failed repeatedly but continued to slam that door closed harder each time... retrospectively foolish.

Explore my zodiac

Text messaging and I are not good bedfellows – I am to tech to invite it into the palm of my hand.

Review the 4 (more on this later)

Create/get involved with non-profits.

Travel professionally

Post lyrics to "How many roads..." – not done yet.

Visit CBC Radio 3 website

"If you always get what you want, you might just find, you’ll never get what you need" – [Iwro Tethis] (Ok. gonna say this only once. This is my decided pseudonym "I worte this" – or – Iwro Tethis)

Make music more scientific (i.e. open your eyes and learn from others)

Register @ Concordia (working on it)

Loose The Simpsons (still working on it)

Send goodies to BC (still need to a job b4 this can happen)


tonight's lineup

Come together (beatles)
Dead or alive (bjovi)
Sweet child of mine (gnr)



Gone KK.O.K.ING!


Opportunity knocks... Technobrati (that's for jenn!) has linked me up with an opportunity to get what needs to get done, done.

Tonight, learning.

Tomorrow, DJ interview and then L’Utopic for what should be a wicked little rendezvous with Ile-Sans-Fil.

By Friday, new architecture job?

On vera et on continue...


Microsoft [gumsnet] - Montreal Feb 7th, 2006

Heading to this tonight (@ 4:07):

Le projet LinQ (anglais) 2006-02-07

Ted Neward is an independent consultant specializing in high-scale enterprise systems, working with clients ranging in size from Fortune 500 corporations to small 10-person shops. He is an authority in Java and .NET technologies, particularly in the areas of Java/.NET integration (both in-process and via integration tools like Web services), back-end enterprise software systems, and virtual machine/execution engine plumbing. He is the author or co-author of several books, including Effective Enterprise Java, C# In a Nutshell, SSCLI Essentials, Server-Based Java Programming, and a contributor to several technology journals. Ted is also a Microsoft MVP for Architecture, BEA Technical Director, INETA speaker, DevelopMentor trainer, frequent conference speaker, and a member of various JSRs. He lives in the Pacific Northwest with his wife, two sons, two cats, and eight PCs. Reach him at ted@tedneward.com or visit blogs.tedneward.com.


4:07 bus to be somewhere for 6:00. jebus.

i will not own a car. i will make my time on public transit productive towards that end.

podcasts and a new battery. giddy up.


old skool!

looks like i may just be fortunate enough to get that shift or two a week i was hoping for. my application for that DJ gig did not fall into idle hands. maybe they'll let me get a small event together a la art show/live band/tech something. Ile sans fils is what took me there. maybe i'll just spin...

i have a meeting them (him) this week.

flickrGraph search: solman@umbrela.com

flickrGraph search: solman@umbrela.com

this is neat.


Stewie from Global TV Website

First Zelda Ad - Google Video

wow. i think i remember? don't want to remember?

First Zelda Ad - Google Video

Leaving on a jet plane?

pending good word regarding the prospective job (knock on good) - all signs point me towards an airport, YVR bound; just a visit; half business/half pleasure; 3-7 days; leave empty, return packing; take care of my bike: Phase 1 (4 phases to this “bike” deal, ending with me riding back East, or Phase 4 ;) - and of course some payback and presents.

Karma hasn’t come to find and remind me about “how things went down” because I remember. I actually get excited thinking about… making it up? Giving it back? Lending a hand? Just making it so… fun.

gonna eat so much fish... so much... some, and then some more.

Lithium (Li-Ion) vs. Lithium Polymer (LiPo)

I just wanted a new battery for my iPod, ended up learning a little about polymer.

Lithium ion battery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Lithium ion polymer battery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Frame 1

Frame 1
Originally uploaded by Soli.
Me: You guys look bored. Drink this.
Guy 1: But we're working.

Frame 2

Frame 2
Originally uploaded by Soli.
Guy 2: Go look.
Guy 1: Maybe he's right?

Frame 3

Frame 3
Originally uploaded by Soli.
Guy 1: Gonna puke... get off me homo.
Guy 2: Need a light. Need a light.

Frame 4

Frame 4
Originally uploaded by Soli.
Guy 1:
Guy 2:


So, the job interview went really well, at least in my opinion. I get an answer next week.

Interesting thing tho… he did mention this here said whatzama hmm_uhoh blog.

He suggested that I not just - put it out there. Hm. Hm. Not sure about this one, but I will say that someone, as result of my munsterpiece, had to vouch for my, um, sanity?

So, I know it’s there. I know that some will find it should they try even a little. It’s not that I don’t care, because I really do, but I’m not that concerned about it “messing things up”. I actually think it means to "make things better".

I can pretend. I can hide. I can talk the talk. I can lie. I can wear a tie (and I did; nice blue one with orange stripes – he wore a cool t-shirt with a logo that I thought I’d remember – and he needed a haircut more than I did - nice - long live da fro yo! It will survive!).

I can... I will be me.

"I am what I am"

I am…

... not perfect; learning
... not playing; committed
... not the sum of just a few parts; whole.
... not a moment; eternity.

... us; us is I.
... always seeking change; changing.

Just in case: How to read this blog.

Book of...

...JOB interview tomorrow; today.

Wish there was soft voice in my ear telling me I'M THE BEST as I lay my nervous ass to sleep.

I thought about Vancouver all day today. Not sure why; maybe I'm hungry? Maybe that octopus video? Maybe that octopus video made me hungry? lol.

mmmmmmmmm 8pus... with a big bowl of wakame. 2 pcs of Saba (a.k.a. ~100 grams in BC). miso to start. maybe a veg tempura. maybe a just a yam tempura. green tea. let's add a bowl of spinach gomae. ok. last thing... 2 uni. done.


Giant Octopus Attack

wow. found this Giant Octopus Attack. [video]

Read FASTER!!!!


Pisces Horoscope for week of February 2, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Pisces (February 19-March 20)

"We are what we pretend to be," wrote author Kurt Vonnegut, "so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." This is excellent advice to keep at the forefront of your awareness during the coming weeks, Pisces. Here's how I interpret his statement: There's not necessarily anything wrong with playing a role if that role is in alignment with your highest values. In fact, to make believe that you are the person you want to be is an excellent strategy for actually becoming the person you want to be.
Freewill Astrology

Oddly enough

To my continuing surprise, I am simply not welcomed in my family’s house. i won't present details becuase I'm not taking it personally, but... this negative energy is killing me softly. Strangers have been kinder and more patient with me during this arduous time in my life. So, here is the surprising list of the things I am going to do if I get this job:

1) Forgot about it, but had to squeeze this into the number one slot because “happy feet = happy legs” or whatever, so: DUNHAM WAFFLE STOMPERS
2) This is most amazing to me, but like lighting, I am securing my own space – outta here, not because I want to or need to, but because they need me to.
3) Internet connection
4) Secure MTL debt load
5) Secure BC debt load
6) TASCAM US-122
7) Audio-Technica AT2020
8) My remaining stuff from BC.
9) Enough money to fly out to BC, buy dinner for 30 people, snowboard x number of times, Grouse Grind, and ride my bike back.

Seeing an osteopath path tomorrow...

Osteopaths primarily work through the neuro-musculo-skeletal system, mostly on muscles and joints, and pay special attention to how the internal organs affect, and are affected by, that system. Relevant psychological and social factors also form part of the diagnosis. Another important principle of osteopathy is that the body has its own self-healing mechanisms, which can be utilised as part of the treatment.

Next stages

Health:30% (of desired)

Next? Hm... vice adjustment.

My list is... longer than the average. I’m tough, but getting old. Time to adjust, so, job interview, then - adjust. The goal? Nothing more than daily practices; do yoga; eat right; don’t smoke; detoxify; don’t deprecate; floss; less oil – daily.

Whatever – let’s push things forward.


Between rocks

I’ve been between rocks are hard places before. And most of the time, I just intrinsically know what to do. I assumed this innate knowledge was not a fleeting property of my being, but doubt seeps in, and doubt can destroy notions of innateness; faith.

I’m losing faith, but it ain’t altogether a bad thing. I think a more realistic and compromising approach is required in cases, and I want to be able to think that way.

Ideal(ism)s are perspective; maps and metadata; patterns; compromising patterns.

Addicted to oil? No.

Addicted to being right; addicted to ourselves; addicted to our perspective ideals.

In my opinion, the most serious addictions are often about what one wants and less about how one gets it.

Days slip

Days are slipping past me, not because I’m letting them; they just are.

Everything is “happening”; good. I got a job interview Friday; good cash; good opportunity.

When I lived in BC, I felt my body; my food. I was aware of it; of its grandeur. It was fit; real; hard. It was hard from me wanting it to be and from my life making it so; fatigue and hunger make you hard. My core muscles were hard. I felt it.

Yoga too.

But now, after sitting in the cold, at a desk, missing sunsets, I can feel my core soften. The inner strength is fading. I need to move – my body again.

I can feel my soul soften too. This needs attention.

I don’t sing songs anymore... :(


I’ve been tweaking the blog so much that I’m forgetting to actually make any substantial posts. I guess that’s a point in itself. What’s really substantial? It’s all good, no?


Show/Hide dealy in the sidebar
Blogorati Stuff
Top 10s

Worked on:

VB to become C# Service that will convert ATOM feeds into Word and PDF docs. Nothing fancy, just helps with the resume.

Cleaned up my template.

Not sure why this is all so important to me. Just a feeling that I’ll need it soon or something like that.


OK Cobra

OK Cobra

More tunes to check out. From Montreal...

Can't stop Vaudevillian pop rock

Can't stop Vaudevillian pop rock

A band called Mother from Van. Download the free track. It rocks.


Haze Fantasy by Nekojin Gabe

Haze Fantasy by Nekojin Gabe
Originally uploaded by Soli.



They were looking for DJ at a downtown cafe. They said they was "laptop" and "tech" friendly...

...I applied ;)

Dead End by Sam Roberts

Sam and co. are friends of mine. We grew up in same hood, etc...

Just wanted to say: this morning, I was mulling and brooding, and this song played off my playlist; I mull and brood no longer. Good to know je suis pas toujours seul…

...merci Sam.

Dead End by Sam Roberts

Oh what’s wrong with me
Said oh what’s wrong with me
I know what I don’t wanna be
A dead end on the family tree
And I just lost my virginity
To a girl who won’t remember me at all
Took her out on a shopping spree
Happiness never happened for free
Could it be that I imagined things

I’m just sad instead of heartbroken

She came home but she’s leaving again
She’s coming back but she won’t say when(chorus)

And I don’t sing songs anymore
I don’t feel young anymore
And it’s hard to conceal
That these tears that I cry are for real

Any more
My pop said I should be like him
My mom says I can live with them

I had to ask my little brother to lend
Me change for the bus ‘til I see him again

I’m getting drunk every day of the week
My ship sunk but it had no leak
A fortune teller on Bishop street
She read my hand and the future is bleak
I’m tired of sitting upon the fence
I’ve got no self confidence
Why don’t I have a circle of friends
I’m so square they don’t even pretend

Don’t give in
You can never let them win
But I get cold
I get cold
Every night, night, night,
Without a prayer in my heart, heart, heart

Oh what’s wrong with me
Said oh Lord what’s wrong with me
I know what I don’t wanna be
A dead end on the family tree
And the train for my salvation
Is departing from the station
She don’t feel like conversation
So I’m talking to myself
I got nobody else
I got my bottle of booze and my stale cigarettes
Down from the shelf


YouTube - Jay Leno Phony Photo Booth

YouTube - Jay Leno Phony Photo Booth

This is just too funny.


DD-WRT and Network Bridging

I promised a friend I'd post this so:

What is a network bridge?

A network bridge is a bridge that will connect one network segment to another. In this context, I wanted to connect a Linksys router wirelessly to an existing secure wireless network. The example: one router is in the basement and the other two floors away. The reason I want to bridge these routers is because of a file server that resides one the top floor, but is not exposed to the rest of this domicile net.

Getting it done

First thing you need to do is get this awesome firmware upgrade. It's called DD-WRT. This firmware is WAY more configurable and powerful than the default Linksys offering. It offers a wide variety of wicked extra features including wireless signal boosts and a number of added transmit frequencies (i.e. the channel range extends for 1 -14 instead 1 - 11 which comes is really handy if your struggling with signal interference from other wireless devices like wireless phones). Be careful! Firmware upgrades are not for the faint of heart. Play it safe and download and test a working client based firmware upgrade for your Linksys router (i.e. client based means do not rely on the routers “Upgrade Firmware” and download an EXE that will PUSH the firmware on to your router rather than asking the router to PULL the upgrade in, as you might not be able to access the router HTML interface).

A useful tool that I use (especially with my note book when out on the digital town) is Network Stumbler. It uses your wireless card to scan for available wireless networks, determine whether they are secure, give you an idea about signal strength and consistency, the used channels and channel traffic, and more.

Next, read this wiki (I listed the steps below, but read the wiki!): WRT Wiki

1) Install the firmware and log in.

2) I change the router IP to something that won’t conflict with a) the other router IP (i.e. and b) that is not in the range of the DHCP server (i.e. if offers up an DHCP IP range 100 – 150, you could choose; just don’t forget ;)

If you want to leave it as, you could also set a static IP address of 192.168.1.x network to your client and you can reach the router as by Ethernet.

3) Add WAN MAC-Address of WRT54G to your mac filter list on your base station.

4) Connect to your WRT54G (normally by wire which should act as client bridge.

5) Enable Wireless Security (in Wireless/Wireless Security) as used (i.e. WEP and configure it as used in your local network (same key generator)).

6) In Wireless/Basic Settings choose "Client-Bridged" as Wireless Mode and set SSID, Wireless channel and Network Mode can be set to same values as your Base Station, normally Auto / Mixed.

That’s all. On next wired connect to your router you should get an IP address from your network.

I just can't believe...

it's 6 freakin' AM. Who's paying for this? FUCK!

thought i might get away without a Simpsons episode to lay my ass to sleep tonight, but i was wrong. gonna hafta look at this soon and switch back radiohead or something other than:

The Simpsons...
Paa pa pa pa paa pa pa pa papapa pa - pa.pa.pa.pa.pa! - papapa pa

tomorrow, radiohead.


in all frankness, part of my getting fired was because of this song (i.e. extra 1/2 hour singing it b4 sleeping - gotta do what you gotta do):

Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here



Originally uploaded by Soli.
i can't believe i have a gig of ram and once again am struggling to do get things done.


no more pics :(

i ain't got no more pics to upload. flickr tells me i'm @ 97% of my 2 gig limit. it took three years to take them all, but i alomost made it.

having some sort of breakdown. later.


Originally uploaded by Soli.
now. gimme. just fer a day. NOW!


Originally uploaded by Soli.
ended up driving this. need to do it again.

Leather lot

Leather lot
Originally uploaded by Soli.
Cool color range

City of Glass

City of Glass
Originally uploaded by Soli.
screw u coupland! kidding. to much bullshit on the inside cover ;)

riv it!

riv it!
Originally uploaded by Soli.
just a cool perpective.


Originally uploaded by Soli.
had trouble trying to name this one.

Just yum... yum yum.

Just yum... yum yum.
Originally uploaded by Soli.
yum yum yum. those calis in the background are made with REAL crab; changes everything.

Where does the beauty come from?

Where does the beauty come from?
Originally uploaded by Soli.
I can't figure it out. Hate cigs; love this pic. Gorgeous.


1 2 3

1 2 3
Originally uploaded by Soli.
there's nothing like knowing how to drive. the skillset bleeds into everything; rollerbaldes; walking; flying; cooking; coding - the best.

The 1 2 3 right off the start and right through the Senna. I love the Senna.